General advice for softball parents of talented players

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Sep 17, 2009
1,637
83
That is the kind of drivel that drives me crazy.

What the college coaches mean: "We want pitchers who throw 70MPH and batters who can hit the ball 400 feet. We want players who will take 12 hours a semester of the easiest classes we can find so that they can practice/train 10 hours a day."

People get starry eyed about college sports. There is no gold at the end of the softball rainbow. The only people making money in softball are a handful of college coaches...and, ironically, half of those are men.

That being said, if a kid enjoys the game and has some talent, for softball, why not play in college? It beats cleaning toilets.
I think you went too far here....the reason most kids quit in college is they don't want to 'live the game.' It does NOT beat toilets if what you REALLY want to do in college is something else (have friends outside the team, join a sorority and go out on the weekends, pursue a field of study that conflicts with afternoon practice)....I think highlighting the 'live the game' comment wasn't off-base at all, but rather the truth about the level of commitment at D1 and how it takes over kids lives between play, practice, work-out and travel. IMO.
 
Aug 19, 2015
1,118
113
Atlanta, GA
IDK, when I was in college at a mid-major D1, I had friends who were athletes (soccer/field hockey; we didn't have softball) and they had plenty of time for a decent social life. My school is a very high-academic liberal arts school in the SE (you might be familiar with one of our more well-known alumni who is a Golden State Warrior) and there are no underwater basket-weaving degrees available for athletes (usually they majored in Anthro/Soc or Criminal Justice). Maybe at Oklahoma or Alabama do the athletes have time for nothing but softball, but I do think it's possible to have a nice balance depending upon the school, even in D1.
 
Dec 15, 2018
809
93
CT
IDK, when I was in college at a mid-major D1, I had friends who were athletes (soccer/field hockey; we didn't have softball) and they had plenty of time for a decent social life. My school is a very high-academic liberal arts school in the SE (you might be familiar with one of our more well-known alumni who is a Golden State Warrior) and there are no underwater basket-weaving degrees available for athletes (usually they majored in Anthro/Soc or Criminal Justice). Maybe at Oklahoma or Alabama do the athletes have time for nothing but softball, but I do think it's possible to have a nice balance depending upon the school, even in D1.

Having played at this school, I can verify this. And, even with the conference change, from having visited recently, the same atmosphere exists today. We definitely were heavy on the History majors, but also had our fair share of Bio, Math, Chem. It was also pretty accepted that occasionally you'd miss a mid-week travel game because you had a test the next day, or a lab you couldn't miss. Also wasn't unheard of to have guys studying for MCAT's in the bullpen...

And yes, we definitely had a social life. Sometimes, too much.
 
Dec 11, 2010
4,713
113
That is the kind of drivel that drives me crazy.

What the college coaches mean: "We want pitchers who throw 70MPH and batters who can hit the ball 400 feet. We want players who will take 12 hours a semester of the easiest classes we can find so that they can practice/train 10 hours a day."

People get starry eyed about college sports. There is no gold at the end of the softball rainbow. The only people making money in softball are a handful of college coaches...and, ironically, half of those are men.

That being said, if a kid enjoys the game and has some talent, for softball, why not play in college? It beats cleaning toilets.

I’m with Sluggers on this one.

The parents and players who are starry eyed about what it means to be a college softball player in 2020 are in for a very rude awakening.

My older dd lived and breathed softball. She thought when she got onto campus at a mid-major, she would FINALLY be among other like minded players. Not so much. Most felt they had already reached their goals. Most had already played too much softball, were beat down and were ready for it to be over.

When I look back at how I soaked up all this talk about how coaches recruit only the players with the highest moral fiber, how they only want the true team players and how hard work and performance will be the only thing that matters, I can and do poke fun at my own naivety.

I really think recruiting is a broken process in some regards. I think that college coaches have created unintended consequences by recruiting almost exclusively from a pool of players that have been forced to dance with the devil of non-stop travel, non-stop tournaments and a constant barrage of on-line foolishness and self promotion. By the time these players hit the meat grinder of college softball, it ISN'T that they are "prepared" for the travel, (it's brutal), it ISN'T that they are ready for the long workouts and the even longer practices. It's more like they are exhausted from the journey that got them there. Some don't even make it there because of the injury to the body from playing so much. I think it has not occurred to most that the long road has not ended, it is starting again. I don't think players and parents and coaches don't understand that they are recruiting players whose bodies are already have too much wear and tear on them, due to the process that allows them to be recruited. I think players and parents don't have a realistic view of what their place is on a team of 20 year olds that may or may not be very sympathetic to this poor little superstar being away from home for the first time without her personal assistants (I mean parents, sorry.)

I know this post drips with sarcasm. It is meant to jolt the reader. It isn't based only on my families experiences. I find that our experience is pretty similar to almost every college softball player I know.

College softball is an awesome institution. I love it. I love watching it. I am trying to decide whether I will travel from the MIdwest to the Southwest in a month to watch a full weekend of softball and hang out with my friends that have kids playing. I'm not trying to discourage ANYONE from taking their shot. But I DO hope that the player and parent know what they are getting into.
 

marriard

Not lost - just no idea where I am
Oct 2, 2011
4,312
113
Florida
I’m with Sluggers on this one.

I agree. I disagree with the original post but this one I can agree with.

College coaches say a lot of stupid things. Just like everyone else on the planet. Many are very good, but some are just hilarious.

I have had college coaches at various times regularly tell me:
  • They want X, Y and Z top D1 level type skills... then you go watch them play and realize that their team is awful and would struggle to compete in a 14U tournament.
  • That they only take certain heights of players. That they would never take a player who wears a face mask. That they only want a pitcher who throws drop balls. Or riseballs.
  • "We want elite athletes" - I am sure you do, but based on your current roster, you certainly don't get them.
  • That they want kids with the 'best character' when you know they took a pitcher the previous year who is one of the worst team cancers of all time but throws mid-60's. This kids parents are nightmares - but that doesn't even matter - she is WAY worse and destroyed her college team before the start of the season. And she is back again this year - unlike many of the players who bailed.
  • That they want kids with the 'best character' when you know they took kids the previous year who got kicked off their HS team for drugs and fighting and have a couple of open criminal cases against them.
  • That they value character... but it is well known they 'resigned' their last job in mysterious circumstances (i.e. they slept with one of their players)
  • That they plan to be at the school 'forever' despite having changed schools every single year
Or on one team, the team photo year after year is all suspiciously very, very blond and for the last 5 years he has ONLY talked to me about the kids in our org that have blond hair (natural or dyed - it doesn't seem to matter)

Parents and DD's should take a long hard look at the make of the roster of any college team. One local D1 has NO seniors who have been there 4 years - and haven't for awhile. Their seniors are almost always transfers. And they carry 30+ players every season

One college locally has NO local girls. And we are in Florida which is a hotbed of softball talent. Everyone locally knows not to go there. He goes around claiming he recruits 'across the country' - yeah we all know why.

The best college coaches are the ones that recruit early for kids that will be above average players at their conference level - and hope to land a whale or two at some point.

I really think recruiting is a broken process in some regards. I think that college coaches have created unintended consequences by recruiting almost exclusively from a pool of players that have been forced to dance with the devil of non-stop travel, non-stop tournaments and a constant barrage of on-line foolishness and self promotion.
By the time these players hit the meat grinder of college softball, it ISN'T that they are "prepared" for the travel, (it's brutal), it ISN'T that they are ready for the long workouts and the even longer practices. It's more like they are exhausted from the journey that got them there. Some don't even make it there because of the injury to the body from playing so much.

Yes, a lot of college coach's complaints about travel are basically whining that someone has already used up and broken a kids body or mind before they had a chance to do it themselves. But this is the system they put in place to get recruited. It is the same as the 'we want multi-sports athlete' BS lie. OK - how exactly would we do that?

Our org does a pretty good job of prepping the kids for college and college softball. Most of our kids last at least 2 seasons of softball in college at the school they head to That sounds awful but that is frankly hugely successful. The number of kids that quit before they even take the field is really, really high. - and the number one reason I hear is that many of them feel that it is the first time that they felt that they had a choicre to not play.
 
May 16, 2016
1,024
113
Illinois
On a lesser team, a kid good enough to play on the Bandits will play almost every inning. They will never sit the bench. My kid played three years on mediocre teams, and pitched almost every inning of every game. She went to a premier team, and she pitched 50% of the games.

The players on the premier teams are very, very good. They are almost interchangeable. They can multiple positions and have excellent skills. The top 3 players on one of the premier teams are not "that much" better than the bottom 3.

As to roster size, the Bandits do a good job of limiting roster at the younger ages.

But, come on...the 18U Bandits Dorsey has 17 kids. You are going to tell me that the kids on that team are going to play as much as the 11 girl roster of the North Lake Sisters of the Poor?

I'm not criticizing the Bandits, the Batbusters, whoever. The teams are ran differently than most parents are used to.

I gotcha. I was looking at things from a different perspective in terms of playing time.

The Bandits have four 16u teams and two 18u teams. The average size roster for those teams are 14 players per team, actually a little less if you want to be really specific. Those are not big rosters for 16u and up teams.
 

sluggers

Super Moderator
Staff member
May 26, 2008
7,132
113
Dallas, Texas
When my DD went off to play college sports, Ed Serdar told me, "When she gets to college, don't talk softball with her. Talk about her education, her degree and what she is going to do after softball."

I ignored his advice. Four years later:

It is June after her Junior year. DD has college softball awards piled up to the ceiling. The coach is up for "coach of the year award". The team did fantastic.

So, I ask my DD about graduation. Surprise! No one had talked to her about fulfilling the requirements for her college major. She was missing several mandatory classes. She had no plan whatsoever. The school counselors, from what I could tell, never even met with my DD.

Now, obviously, my DD should have paid more attention...but, she (and I) were distracted by softball. She had to go an extra year of college to finish up.

What we learned the hard way is that you can't trust the college coaches. They have their own agenda (such as getting enough money to pay their mortgage).

Parents have to help keep their DD's priorities straight.
 

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