The "Hissy-Quit"

[CoachKevin]

but also, it was clear before you guys packed up for a national tournament what that girls role was, and they had the chance (and used it) to avoid shelling out big money for travel for her to ride aluminum (pine is outdated, all benches pretty much aluminum now, we need to change terminology that was my biggest problem, was the complete change in how the time was split only at nationals. I have a feeling, if they had not planned to do nationals (where 11 games in 4 days was a possiblity), the true colors would have come out long before, we were strung along as an insurance policy for nationals so other C would not fall over dead

ie, DD was used, not first time for her (previous time was playing soccer, she was GK, similar situation, singular position).

and 18u is different animal, at that point it is more about winning and showcasing than about development anymore. 12u C (all 12u really) needs to be about player development. I am certain that girl who say 4-5 innings in field and like 5 at bats would trade runner up rings they received for more PT. but what do coaches care, they got a ring and a trophy for the clubhouse, and something to brag about.

Oh I agree with you whole heartedly. Just telling you that it doesn't matter the age... tears still flow

 

[dlem0]

Its pretty nuts to hear how often these things happen. Parents seem to need a manual when joining a travel team or a coach to be up front on expectations- of course they have that option to make changes without notification. Seen this happen when we first joined a 14B team. After a few tournaments the coach would play my daughter and her friend in pool play and once bracket day came they would sit our girls in favor of guest players. Yes it annoyed me and I would watch the guest player miss plays/balls in the outfield while my daughter didnt. The problem was my daughter was going thru a batting slump and the guest was hitting. So for me it made since, we need hits so we can score.

My DD's friend who was on the team did ok in right field - missed a few and would get a hit once in a while. Bracket day comes and the girls are on the bench again. Mom talking and getting all fired up, tries to get my wife to join in. Well after the 1st bracket game that weekend the Mom had enough. After the game went to the post game Coach's talk, told her daughter to pack up and then told off the coach. They were done with this team. Of course we were annoyed but we were going to stick thru this.

The sad part of this thing is even today they still blame that coach for their daughters struggles while playing the game. They never mention the time he spent 1/1 with the girl to hit. Time spent that he could of been spending with his own daughter. Its very disappointing to see parents show their kids this way of thinking is ok- its always the coaches fault or teachers fault. Instead of lets practice at home or take lessons to get better so there is no chance they will sit you. Fight for your spot!

 

[sbdad03]

In this case admitting what I did was a mistake was akin to admitting that I have a bald spot..obvious to everyone. The HC and ACs did get a good laugh at my expense though next time I saw them since, after clearer heads prevailed, some of the interaction was probably actually fairly comical to those watching (not my DD though ☹ )

Please share the story!! Sounds interesting...especially since you said the police showed up!!!!

 

[Eric F]

so what is the life lesson of staying . . . support your teammates I get it . . but at the same time I do not want to teach her to let herself be a doormat either. her only option (other than cussing HC and son out, or nailing them with a bat, both of which I frown upon) to let them know it was unacceptable way to treat her was to walk. she was used plain and simple, and I do not want her to let that happen to herself if avoidable. that is also a necessary life lesson.

There is value in honoring a commitment to a team, even if it's a smaller role, and even if the role changes. Your teammates count on you...even if it's just to keep the #1 C from dropping dead. Whatever your role is, do it 100%. Lift your teammates up any way you can. Find a way to participate. If the C was out on the bases at the end of the inning, hop out of the dugout right away with a mitt and mask, and warm up the P while she's putting on her gear. The small roles matter, too.

I agree that there are times when people need to leave teams, and there are lots of reasons to justify leaving. Leave classy. Even if the coaches deserve to be cussed at (in your opinion), doing it only makes you look bad, and puts a stain on your DD.

 

[bmakj]

we never cussed (or if we did it was to each other, in hushed voices). I just think it is BS that is it Ok to wait for nationals to cut her PT with no forewarning, but it is absolutely wrong for her to decide enough is enough, I am not having fun, I am leaving, when it is obvious she is not going to play (even though she did stay to support, I am just saying leaving if she wanted was a valid choice). it is the deception that bothers me the most. if she was playing ony 25% of time all season, well we knew what to expect. she went from playing 75% of time (50% behind the plate) to 25%.

and if it is so important to support her teammates, why are they not supporting her and asking why is she not playing ? and it is not about ability or performance, because most of the girls would have told you, DD gives them better chance to win (first loss had 3 or 4 runs on WP/PB with other C).

 

[_MIA_]

Please share the story!! Sounds interesting...especially since you said the police showed up!!!!

DD was having a rough tournament, I had shut my mouth and tried to be positive the whole time but finally after an error I yelled out to her from behind the LF to get off your heels. Well I shouldn't have said anything especially after she just made an error so she started to cry (she is 9..). Well at that point the umpire looked at me (I don't fault her for that now) and since I was already hot I said to her "What are you looking at, I am not that good looking!!" with a swear word in there. At that point she told me to go sit in the parking lot (the swear word probably was the deciding factor..)..thing is I already was pretty much in the parking lot so I told her that (with another swear word) so she told me to leave the complex. At that point I took my water bottle and angrily tried to throw it at the fence...but I missed and it went on the field. Well as I was walking back to my hotel to cool off (which was 8 miles away..that was quite a walk) the police show up and tell me that they need to talk to me. Apparently the umpire said that I threw a water bottle at her and they needed to figure out if they were going to press charges. I was definitely in the wrong all the way around, but I was 10 feet in back of a 200 foot fence and she was standing 5 feet behind SS so there was no way I was throwing a water bottle at her. Anyway police agreed and let me go. I was, however, banned from the rest of the complexes for the rest of the tournament. They actually had the police come and check to make sure I didn't show up.

I was an idiot obviously. Unfortunately what I did was basically the sort of thing I would do when I played. Ballgames bring out the worse in my personality.

 

[Eric F]

we never cussed (or if we did it was to each other, in hushed voices). I just think it is BS that is it Ok to wait for nationals to cut her PT with no forewarning, but it is absolutely wrong for her to decide enough is enough, I am not having fun, I am leaving, when it is obvious she is not going to play (even though she did stay to support, I am just saying leaving if she wanted was a valid choice). it is the deception that bothers me the most. if she was playing ony 25% of time all season, well we knew what to expect. she went from playing 75% of time (50% behind the plate) to 25%.

Tournaments - especially the most important ones for that team - magnify playing time discrepancies. In must-win games, I expect that the coaches are going to put the team on the field that they feel gives the team the best chance at winning each game. In our experience (2 years of all-stars, and 5 years of TB), it's to be pretty much to be expected that the #1s at every position are going to be starting every must-win game, unless there is a compelling reason not to (for example, giving the catcher a rest so she can play better in the next game, or a second-best fielder with a way-better bat). Expecting the same playing time that you get in pool play, low-level tournaments, and friendlies is unrealistic.

 

[FP26]

Right. Parents have a right to be unhappy. They pay a lot of money and if promises aren't delivered on, they certainly might feel angry. They do not have a right to cause a scene, embarrass their child, or be abusive to anyone. But sometimes, the coach IS the problem. It CAN happen. Let's just not forget that.

I agree completely. Sometimes the coach is definitely the problem. And right at the head of the line is any coach that makes promises. A coach/team requires a certain amount of transparency and parents/players deserve to know the goals of the team. They need to be aligned. But promises should not be included.

 

[Gambler Bob]

DD was having a rough tournament, I had shut my mouth and tried to be positive the whole time but finally after an error I yelled out to her from behind the LF to get off your heels. Well I shouldn't have said anything especially after she just made an error so she started to cry (she is 9..). Well at that point the umpire looked at me (I don't fault her for that now) and since I was already hot I said to her "What are you looking at, I am not that good looking!!" with a swear word in there. At that point she told me to go sit in the parking lot (the swear word probably was the deciding factor..)..thing is I already was pretty much in the parking lot so I told her that (with another swear word) so she told me to leave the complex. At that point I took my water bottle and angrily tried to throw it at the fence...but I missed and it went on the field. Well as I was walking back to my hotel to cool off (which was 8 miles away..that was quite a walk) the police show up and tell me that they need to talk to me. Apparently the umpire said that I threw a water bottle at her and they needed to figure out if they were going to press charges. I was definitely in the wrong all the way around, but I was 10 feet in back of a 200 foot fence and she was standing 5 feet behind SS so there was no way I was throwing a water bottle at her. Anyway police agreed and let me go. I was, however, banned from the rest of the complexes for the rest of the tournament. They actually had the police come and check to make sure I didn't show up.

I was an idiot obviously. Unfortunately what I did was basically the sort of thing I would do when I played. Ballgames bring out the worse in my personality.

LMAO. That is pretty funny.

Tomorrow I am going to the softball fields to find out how far I can throw a water bottle.

Imagine if that scenario turned out like this. Police arrest you. While in lockup, Bubba asks you what you are in for. Bubba makes you his bi!%ch.

 

[_MIA_]

LMAO. That is pretty funny.

Tomorrow I am going to the softball fields to find out how far I can throw a water bottle.

Imagine if that scenario turned out like this. Police arrest you. While in lockup, Bubba asks you what you are in for. Bubba makes you his bi!%ch.

It wasn't a small water bottle either... The TD and I had already gotten into it beforehand so I am sure the escalation with the police had something to do with that. I had tried to walk through an area which had an Umpires only (and apparently TDs too since his fat arse was sitting there) sign on it as it was a much shorter route to the bathrooms from where I was sitting in the OF. I thought that meant only umpires could sit there but apparently not as the TD said to me "What, you cannot read?" when I asked him if it was ok to walk through the area. I then not so calmly said yes I can fu*(&() read and then said fine I will go around.

To be honest it really isn't funny although I guess reading it seems that way (the police even laughed when I explained what happened). I embarrassed myself and, more importantly, my family with the way I acted. Embarrassing myself is one thing, I have done that numerous times over the years in sporting events, but this is the first time I ever did something to embarrass my wife and children..not good. Hopefully that is rock bottom and I learn from it (and hopefully we don't ever play in Branson again since they probably have a picture of me in the USSSA headquarters over there).