Insight welcome on approaching HC

[Razor011]

I don't know what level you're at (8u-18u) but as a parent, it's dang hard sometimes to sit back and let your DD make decisions. We've seen so many sides of people from manipulative to well meaning. If your DD is willing to have those conversations then you're already ahead of the game and congrats to you for raising her well. I think the best thing you can do is help her know the difference between well meaning and deceptive, and when to move on if her goals aren't being met. With that being said, what are her goals? If it's to have fun and be with her friends, then maybe those are already being met. If it's to play for a D1 school then maybe they aren't. Help her weigh the options. My DD just made a move to a new team and it feels good to see her happy, but also make new strides towards her goals.

Ending our first year of 12u. Been playing since Kindergarten. It most definitely is a long hard journey! She loves to play, and she also loves to hang with her friends on the team. So at times, yes, the goals of an 11 year old are probably currently being met. Lol.

My goal in this whole endeavor is for her to understand that anything worth doing is worth working hard for and doing right, team mentality, and that hard work pays off.

 

[Razor011]

The way this reads to me is that she is player 10 and if he has his best 9 or his best 8 plus a guest your DD doesn’t play.
If he’s not willing to take a chance on her after almost an entire season that likely won’t change next year either.

Yes, you’re reading it correctly. On the bright side, school ball is fixing to start here in town. This will be a new group with different coaches so I am anxious to see what changes I see in her. I have had no problems with our current coaching. I feel like the girls are treated well and cared for and taught well, including my DD. I trust them and what they are teaching/doing. But a different environment will tell a lot also I believe.

 

[justanotherguy]

Ending our first year of 12u. Been playing since Kindergarten. It most definitely is a long hard journey! She loves to play, and she also loves to hang with her friends on the team. So at times, yes, the goals of an 11 year old are probably currently being met. Lol.

My goal in this whole endeavor is to see that anything worth doing is worth working hard for and doing right, team mentality, and that hard work pays off.

Welcome to the journey. I think the best thing you can do is sit down with her and map out the long term goals along with the short term and let her make some decisions. I was very honest with my DD years ago and told her certain things, things that are just now coming to fruition about love of the game vs hard work, determination, and sacrifice. It's kinda funny to me that today, on the way back from a 3.5 hour practice in 95 degree heat and humidity, that she came back to one of those conversations. All you can do is impart wisdom (knowledge gained through experience) and then let her make those decisions.

 

[Razor011]

Yes, you’re reading it correctly. On the bright side, school ball is fixing to start here in town. This will be a new group with different coaches so I am anxious to see what changes I see in her. I have had no problems with our current coaching. I feel like the girls are treated well and cared for and taught well, including my DD. I trust them and what they are teaching/doing. But a different environment will tell a lot also I believe.

Also, i will say, this is the first tournament that we have taken an extra player. And, I am grateful that every weekend spent out of town has been with this core group of girls. So being number 10 on a strong team that i know she can hang with is ok with me. I would much rather that than being number one on any team. Because I also know that being in that position would not benefit her personality traits, or my goals as a parent.

 

[djcarter1966]

To contradict another poster 6 innings in 6 games is NOT OK at any level for a team with a 10 girl roster (if this was a 12 or 13 size roster different story). You are being told via playing time that your DD is not really ready for this team. First year 12U playing in a 14U tournament could be tough you are on a team were probably not half the girls have matured playing against a team where most of them have matured they are simply bigger and stronger.

The question is does your DD want to improve do you think she can improve if so ask the coach directly what SKILLS does she need to improve on to get more playing time.

 

[Sweet Lou]

You keep saying "I'm OK with her playing time" then saying "she's not getting enough playing time". Honestly if she has goals about progressing find her a team where she's at least middle of the pack and will get the playing time. At 12U sitting all but 6 innings a weekend is kind of demoralizing.

How does she hit and how often does she get a chance? because the quickest way to get more playing time is to be one of the 6 best hitters on the team.

 

[Razor011]

To contradict another poster 6 innings in 6 games is NOT OK at any level for a team with a 10 girl roster (if this was a 12 or 13 size roster different story). You are being told via playing time that your DD is not really ready for this team. First year 12U playing in a 14U tournament could be tough you are on a team were probably not half the girls have matured playing against a team where most of them have matured they are simply bigger and stronger.

The question is does your DD want to improve do you think she can improve if so ask the coach directly what SKILLS does she need to improve on to get more playing time.

We only played 14u in this tournament because we didn’t have a 12u to make and we needed game time due to frequent rain outs recently. This was the only weekend we could fit one in, this was the only one to make and so we rolled with it. It was a good tournament don’t get me wrong. The girls had equal competition for the most part. My only concern is that this tournament was presented as “to get our girls prepped” before the big tournament coming up. I just felt kinda slighted in the preparation that we received considering that DD sat the majority of the day. I would have thought that by preparation, we would be putting the girls going to the big tournament to work. She can absolutely maintain with the other girls on the team. However, at this point, I worry that she lacks the confidence to do so....it’s more of a mind game. I don’t know if you saw in my previous comment, but 2 plays into the first pool game she was pulled. Yet, others made mistakes all day and were never pulled. I just want the coach to understand how hard that knocks confidence to sit in a dugout alone all day. Also, on that note, when I’m coaching, i always try to include those who are in the dugout in the game. I try to teach them how to understand what’s going on out on the field even though they’re not out there. Here, this isn’t the case. If it were, i wouldn’t be near as upset. I know they have a game to coach and I’m not asking for one on one instruction in the dugout, but i would at least encourage the player in the dugout to include themselves in the conversation so they can learn the WHYs that go on behind the scene (ie pitch calling etc). I have also encouraged her to be eager to learn in the dugout, but sometimes it isn’t welcomed.

I completely agree with discussing specific needs with the coach and DD. That will definitely be addressed. Thank you for your insight!

 

[Razor011]

You keep saying "I'm OK with her playing time" then saying "she's not getting enough playing time". Honestly if she has goals about progressing find her a team where she's at least middle of the pack and will get the playing time. At 12U sitting all but 6 innings a weekend is kind of demoralizing.

How does she hit and how often does she get a chance? because the quickest way to get more playing time is to be one of the 6 best hitters on the team.

I’m sorry, i can see where I’m coming off as contradicting myself! It’s not playing time in general that is my concern. I expect her to work and earn her spot for the tournaments that they are after, absolutely! We travel to play the best teams in our area and that is what she and we as her parents want.

What concerned me on this particular tournament was that it was only added to the schedule as a last minute, local tournament to get some game experience practice in before we go to our World Series. If it was practice, why weren’t all the girls equally practiced?

 

[djcarter1966]

I’m sorry, i can see where I’m coming off as contradicting myself! It’s not playing time in general that is my concern. I expect her to work and earn her spot for the tournaments that they are after, absolutely! We travel to play the best teams in our area and that is what she and we as her parents want.

What concerned me on this particular tournament was that it was only added to the schedule as a last minute, local tournament to get some game experience practice in before we go to our World Series. If it was practice, why weren’t all the girls equally practiced?

They aren't getting equally practiced because they are not equal. I think you should be able to see the writing on the wall your DD is 10th on a 10 girl roster, that's fine if there is the chance for improvement and growth but that doesn't seem to be happening. As far as pulling a girl mid inning I'm just not a fan...I've switch field positions but can't remember pulling someone mid inning. As other have stated the reason those other girls probably didn't get pulled is because they can hit. If we have said it once on this board it's been said a thousand times the fastest way to playing time is crushing the ball, if your are in the top half of hitters on the team it is simple I will find a place for you to play.

 

[Eric F]

I got to thinking, DD has invested time and effort and we payed the entry fee just like everyone else on the team.

This is a factor that TB parents often bring up when their kids isn't playing very much. Time, effort, and paying dues the same as everyone else does not equal an even share of playing time. Want to play more? Get better. Be so good that the coach can't ignore you. Be so good you are undeniable. If you're not now, get to work until you are.