Parent Coaches

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Jun 12, 2015
3,848
83
Most college and even many HS coaches can more easily demote a kid because there is a much deeper talent pool than a youth FP team. It's much easier to "demote" someone who is on a 20+ person roster compared to a group of twelve. That said, I've seen plenty of players benched and even cut on "Daddy" teams. Even on DD's current team, which is not "top tier", players certainly earn their time with flexibility and performance, and poor effort gets a player pulled. DD's HC doesn't hesitate to pull his own kid, even when the reason seems questionable to observers. However, unlike a college team, there aren't a dozen players ready and willing to fill the spot, so it's easier to get off the bench.

Isn't that the truth. I'd say all but one coach my DD's had (including her dad) were willing to make the hard calls. But to be able to is another story. There are so many teams in GA that you're lucky to even get 10 on your roster period. Last year we had to deal with all kinds of stuff just to be able to play. We've lost one from fall so we're going into spring with 10. If we lose even one more we're in a precarious position. There are a gillion other teams who just need 1-2 also. And yes, some of those teams would do great if they'd combine. Don't get me started on that.
 
Apr 28, 2014
2,316
113
After being around the sport for a while you can tell within one weekend of tournaments if Daddy ball is happening.
The only thing then left to do is muster up enough courage to leave.
 
Jun 1, 2015
500
43
I coach a summertime 16U "rec" league (big quotes on that). I'm 29, have no kids at all, so I don't feel any pressure, and my 2 current assistant coaches are two of my former players who wanted to volunteer and help out. The less I have parent involvement on the field (aside from MAYBE occasionally stepping in to help catch during a drill in practice), the better, and so far it hasn't been an issue. When I have players sign up to try out/play, both my parents AND players sign a code of conduct - one part specifically states, "During all game-related exercises/situations, the coaches will coach and the parents will parent, nothing more or less. When kids are given conflicting information in stressful situations, it benefits nobody, especially the child. Please refrain from coaching your child from the sidelines and let the coaches handle the work. Be their biggest supporter - their mom/dad."

So far, I'm proud to report, I've had no problems with parents trying to "over-coach" me from the seats. I volunteer to coach because I love the game and want to see the girls I work with perform where they don't realize they can yet. Not for fame, fortune, or personal glory.
 
Jul 16, 2013
4,659
113
Pennsylvania
I coach a summertime 16U "rec" league (big quotes on that). I'm 29, have no kids at all, so I don't feel any pressure, and my 2 current assistant coaches are two of my former players who wanted to volunteer and help out. The less I have parent involvement on the field (aside from MAYBE occasionally stepping in to help catch during a drill in practice), the better, and so far it hasn't been an issue. When I have players sign up to try out/play, both my parents AND players sign a code of conduct - one part specifically states, "During all game-related exercises/situations, the coaches will coach and the parents will parent, nothing more or less. When kids are given conflicting information in stressful situations, it benefits nobody, especially the child. Please refrain from coaching your child from the sidelines and let the coaches handle the work. Be their biggest supporter - their mom/dad."

So far, I'm proud to report, I've had no problems with parents trying to "over-coach" me from the seats. I volunteer to coach because I love the game and want to see the girls I work with perform where they don't realize they can yet. Not for fame, fortune, or personal glory.

Honestly, it is people like you that are needed in the youth sports community. Unfortunately I have found that it is extremely rare. At least in my experience. In your opinion, how can youth sports increase participation from people without an existing personal relationship with the players?
 

Cannonball

Ex "Expert"
Feb 25, 2009
4,854
113
I guess I have been a "parent coach" for my dd's entire career. Even when I stopped coaching her in TB, I was her HS coach. I hope that didn't hurt her too much.
 
Apr 6, 2017
328
28
Parent coaches are in full swing around my neck of the woods. Iv seen a few cringe worthy daddy ball moments but for the
most part it's all good. Dd has never been hurt much by daddy ball. Usually the coach wants to field the best team he can so it
works out.
 

#10

Jun 24, 2011
398
28
909
After being around the sport for a while you can tell within one weekend of tournaments if Daddy ball is happening.
The only thing then left to do is muster up enough courage to leave.

That's why I tell anyone who will listen to go to at least one team practice and one friendly to observe prior to joining any team.
 
May 27, 2013
2,353
113
I think there can be very good parent coaches out there; however, the ones that can hurt your dd in an indirect way are the ones who can’t admit that they don’t know what they don’t know - especially in regards to college recruiting. This is why I stepped down from coaching after 14U, and moved DD to another team after her 1st fall season at 16U. It wasn’t anything personal against the HC - he just didn’t have the college connections, nor did most of the team have the desire to play at the next level. You can have great coaching by parents, but if your dd wants to play D1 in college, it helps to have a coach who has been there, done that with regards to knowing the ins and outs of recruiting.
 
Last edited:

JAD

Feb 20, 2012
8,231
38
Georgia
I'm just curious how prevalent it is to find rec or travel ball teams (softball or other sports) that don't have parents as coaches. I see all the negativity regarding "daddy ball" and just wonder what the options are. As an example, I know of nearly 30 travel ball organizations within a 50 mile radius of my home. Every one of them have parent coaches. I cannot name a single one within that distance that does not. So what are the options? Just eliminate youth sports completely?

Running a TB team is a HUGE commitment and the number of people willing to do that without a child on the team is limited. While everyone wants to avoid "daddy ball", coaches who offer private lessons and give preferential treatment to their student play "daddy ball" too...
 
Apr 20, 2015
961
93
Sluggers,

Curious for your opinion of when earning playing time should start?

I understand it at 14U and above, maybe 12U for competitive/ A-level teams.

But 10U also? How do you learn the game if you never get to play the game?

Thanks,

Gags


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I'm not sluggers but here's my opinion. Learning the game should happen in rec league. Travel ball should always be earned if the travel ball explosion would cease this would not be a problem but we have a ton of low level travel teams in our town full of kids that should still be in rec leagues learning


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