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Mar 13, 2016
8
0
Kansas City
If your daughter plays on a high school team where there is a ton of talent (your daughter is included in that talent) and quite a few of the girls have taken lessons from the HS coach at some point, do you think that will effect (or is it affect?) his decision on who plays on Varsity?

If your daughter is frustrated and doesn't think she'll even make Varsity as a Junior and when she does get on Varsity she'll probably sit the bench, would you allow her to change schools? (Yes, we could change schools and she would be allowed to play next year) Her frustrations comes from not being able to play competitively. I'm sure some of you will think that we think she's a better player than she is, but we aren't those type of parents...I'm sure you're thinking..Sure you're not. :p Her stats speak for themselves and she has a couple D1 colleges looking at her. How much do relationships with the coach, play a part in his selection?

Part of me thinks, it's just high school ball and to let it go, but another part of me is also frustrated. Maybe this will teach my daughter to work harder, but what if she works her tail off and it doesn't make a difference. Maybe my daughter doesn't work hard at practice..Of course, she says she does, but who knows. Will college coaches care that she played JV for three years?

Let me know if I'm thinking about this all wrong? is this a good experience for our daughter and she'll learn some great life lesson? Has anyone experienced something like this?
 
Oct 11, 2010
8,337
113
Chicago, IL
I think you are thinking about it right. IMO no one is unbiased.

If she is looking at college ball TB will get her there.

I might ask for another parents opinion on what is going on.
 
Jun 27, 2011
5,089
0
North Carolina
Being the head coach of a team and giving private lessons to some of the players is a conflict of interest, at the very least. It may or may not lead to bias. It probably does, but not necessarily. One of my best friends thought his DD had an advantage last fall because she was taking some hitting lessons from the head coach. She started the first couple of games but wound up firmly on the bench.

But, to your question, if my DD was in this situation, and transferring to another school was convenient and she really wanted to do it, and there were no academic sacrifices, then her mom and I might give it our blessing, sure. Yes, there would be life lessons learned by staying put, but there also are lessons learned in making a decision to improve your situation.
 
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Mar 13, 2016
8
0
Kansas City
I think you are thinking about it right. IMO no one is unbiased.

If she is looking at college ball TB will get her there.

I might ask for another parents opinion on what is going on.

I've talked to several past players who have played for this coach. They all say the same thing, he plays his favorites. A couple players I've talked to have quit playing HS ball out of frustration.
 
Jul 19, 2014
2,390
48
Madison, WI
Politics in HS sports is an old problem.

There are other considerations. Such as, what are the social costs of switching high schools? Changing high schools midway through is Ok for some kids, but devastating for others.

One interesting statistic: kids younger than 13 generally improve academically if put into a better school. Kids older than that do not. The question is, are the older kids too set in their ways to gain an advantage, or do the social costs of changing schools that late wipe out any possible gain?

And it's not as easy as one thinks to keep up friendships, even in the neighborhood. My DD 3 was the only one of her group of grade school friends to get into a charter school for middle school. Of all the close non-softball friendships she had in the neighborhood, only one kid is still a close friend.
OTOH, a lot of the kids in the neighborhood got into that school the year DD 1 got in. One of the neighborhood kids will be her college roommate, and she is still extremely close to her best friend from kindergarten. DD 1 has a picture of those three girls all dressed up for homecoming dance in her room, right next to her kindergarten class picture.
 
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JAD

Feb 20, 2012
8,231
38
Georgia
If your daughter plays on a high school team where there is a ton of talent (your daughter is included in that talent) and quite a few of the girls have taken lessons from the HS coach at some point, do you think that will effect (or is it affect?) his decision on who plays on Varsity?

Daddy ball is not limited to blood relatives....

If your daughter is frustrated and doesn't think she'll even make Varsity as a Junior and when she does get on Varsity she'll probably sit the bench, would you allow her to change schools? (Yes, we could change schools and she would be allowed to play next year) Her frustrations comes from not being able to play competitively. I'm sure some of you will think that we think she's a better player than she is, but we aren't those type of parents...I'm sure you're thinking..Sure you're not. :p Her stats speak for themselves and she has a couple D1 colleges looking at her.

No one ever thinks they are THAT parent....

Part of me thinks, it's just high school ball and to let it go, but another part of me is also frustrated. Maybe this will teach my daughter to work harder, but what if she works her tail off and it doesn't make a difference. Maybe my daughter doesn't work hard at practice..Of course, she says she does, but who knows. Will college coaches care that she played JV for three years?

If she works hard to earn something she wants the "life lesson" will be invaluable whether her hard work is rewarded or not. Most college coaches do not care about HS ball as long as players they are recruiting are performing in TB.
 
Mar 13, 2016
8
0
Kansas City
Daddy ball is not limited to blood relatives....



No one ever thinks they are THAT parent....



If she works hard to earn something she wants the "life lesson" will be invaluable whether her hard work is rewarded or not. Most college coaches do not care about HS ball as long as players they are recruiting are performing in TB.

So, you would tell your daughter to work her tail off and just sit the bench? Would you keep your daughter on a club team with daddy ball? We're going to let her make the decision and see how it goes. She needs to figure out what is more important to her.
 
Nov 18, 2013
2,255
113
So, you would tell your daughter to work her tail off and just sit the bench? Would you keep your daughter on a club team with daddy ball? We're going to let her make the decision and see how it goes. She needs to figure out what is more important to her.

Who says she won't make varsity next year or that she'll sit the bench? You've got to learn to ignore disgruntled parents. They always blame politics or favoritism if their kids don't make it. Eventually you'll discover their complaints often don't ring true. If your DD truly is a D1 prospect she'll make varsity and she'll play.
 
Mar 13, 2016
8
0
Kansas City
Who says she won't make varsity next year or that she'll sit the bench? You've got to learn to ignore disgruntled parents. They always blame politics or favoritism if their kids don't make it. Eventually you'll discover their complaints often don't ring true. If your DD truly is a D1 prospect she'll make varsity and she'll play.

There are girls who have committed to play college ball sitting the bench this year.
 

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