As the Minister Of Snark here at DFP, and as a service to the college softball announcers everywhere, let’s help them out by creating a List Of Things They Can Quit Saying 15 Times Per Game.
1) Find a different way to describe a base on balls than “Issuing A Free Pass”. Please. Beth, this means YOU.
2) “She didn’t try to do too much with that pitch” (but she did hit it out....)
3) Team A, (which I used to play for) will “keep fighting”. Or, “They are fighting right now.”
4) The word “scrappy” shall here after be limited to less than 5 times per season. Get a thesaurus, kid.
5) I know you used to have to call the coach “Coach_________”. You are an announcer now. Unless you are speaking directly to them, quit.
6) “Kept her hands inside the ball” or any variation is banned.
7) Announcers will here after run poles for every “Um”. Your job is to talk now. Practice it. Do drills. Figure it out.
8) “Aggressive” can no longer be used unless it helps demonstrate some unique insight. I’m glad she’s an aggressive hitter. Nope, nope, nope.
9) Pitcher A “just missed. She wanted that pitch.” Thanks. I bet she did.
Just generally, you don’t have to break down every little thing like you are a little league coach. Quit with every coaching generality statement that every coach you ever played for ever said. Don’t feel like you HAVE to be saying something all the time, watch the game and visit with your broadcast partner. You are allowed to have some fun. You don’t HAVE to talk about Softball every minute of the broadcast! Talk about the guy with the stupid hat in the stands. Talk about the cool dog on the berm. Talk about the restaurant you always hit in whatever town you are in. Quit being so technical. Entertain us. Tell the story about how you missed curfew sneaking out of the hotel to get ice cream or something. Talk about that time Coach A was a real jerk. Tell us about how that one time the team couldn’t find a restaurant open and the coach made you eat frozen hot pockets on the bus or something. Your life as a player is interesting! “She left that pitch on the plate and that’s why it was a home run” is boring.