how to handle DD

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May 6, 2015
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DD moved to new team this fall, old team was very good, but she needed more PT, left old team on very good terms, very good 2nd year 10u team, so she moved up to 12u.

were getting worried about finding her a good team, then got in touch with coach of new 12u team forming, was going to be part of very well respected organization in our area. tryouts were over, but he needed someone at DDs preferred position, so he gave her a private workout, and offered her on spot. We accepted within 24 hours (she had offers from two other teams basically, but we were skeptical of the level of play and training on these two).

fast foward, this team and the coaching is not what we or DD expected. DD loves the girls, gets along well. getting plenty of PT. but I noticed right away coaching is not where we thought it would be for this organization, come to find out we are under that umbrella, but only kinda, hard to describe without getting into too much detail, supposed to change in winter and for spring. I also understand, coaches learn as they go as well. practicing since mid august, but our normal practice fields have no lights, so time is limited, only 2 weeknights per week. have done now a few friendlies and 3 one day tournaments so far, 4 and 7 so far.

Myself, DW, and now most importantly DD have all noticed some things that concern us regarding the coaching. It is not anything to make us overly concerned, but DD is getting frustrated because she feels she is taking a step backward, she is not able to attempt the same plays defensively or on basepaths that she could on old team.

is there a productive way to approach coach with our concerns? not really any large thing, just a lot of little things, but cumulatively adds up, so really would have to be an in depth communication, not just a hey we are seeing X.
 
Feb 26, 2018
328
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It could just be growing pains of the girls not being used to each other. Sometimes brand new teams are tough and everything takes a while to gel. What really matters is spring/summer, but it is nice to look somewhat put together in the fall/winter. The important thing is that the talent is there. Also, what are the coach's credentials? I fear unless the right approach is taken, the coach is going to get defensive right off the bat, and you're going to be "that parent" and it's still early in the season.
 
May 1, 2018
659
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Yeah usually things aren't going to change, it just makes you look like one of those parents. Most likely the coach just doesn't have the experience that your former coach had, so it will take time for coach to get their feet under them. Little things start to add up for sure and will show up in w/l record.
 
Jun 8, 2016
16,118
113
Myself, DW, and now most importantly DD have all noticed some things that concern us regarding the coaching. It is not anything to make us overly concerned, but DD is getting frustrated because she feels she is taking a step backward, she is not able to attempt the same plays defensively or on basepaths that she could on old team.

I've found that if you do things correctly, but different than what the coaches are teaching, and have success they will eventually leave you alone. I've gotten pretty good at the "You know what you are supposed to be doing, go out there and do it. If the coach says something just nod, say thanks, and continue doing what is right" speech. If after a while they still get on her for doing things the right way, might be time to move on if it is affecting her ability to have fun playing.
 
May 1, 2018
659
63
I've found that if you do things correctly, but different than what the coaches are teaching, and have success they will eventually leave you alone. I've gotten pretty good at the "You know what you are supposed to be doing, go out there and do it. If the coach says something just nod, say thanks, and continue doing what is right" speech. If after a while they still get on her for doing things the right way, might be time to move on if it is affecting her ability to have fun playing.

Agreed. I was thinking more along the lines of team drills and inexperience with play calling. I have always tried to find out who the player is getting lessons from and what I can help reiterate. I have seen coaches try and "help" a girl who is taking lessons and just confuse the hell out of them. "what are some key words that you are using with Player." That way we are all on the same page.
 
Dec 2, 2013
3,409
113
Texas
The age old question. Is it better to be on a great team and not play or to be on a not so competitive team and play a lot?

At 12U a pitcher's concern is getting circle time and lots of it. Wins and losses don't matter at this age bracket. 4 and 7 for a new team is not bad. If your DD wasn't getting enough circle time on a great team, is that really helping her develop??? If it so terrible that you can't stand it, ride out the fall and then find another team in the spring. At 12U it is mostly dads coaching and it's like a box of chocolates. Do your homework and scouting before you jump ship.
 

Strike2

Allergic to BS
Nov 14, 2014
2,044
113
Without details, it's very difficult to judge whether you should be looking for another team. I will say that DD has never been with a team where I agreed with everything the coaches did. In fact, I'd say that kids sports is usually an exercise in patience, compromise, and emphasis on the broader picture and long-run.

You said you left DD's previous "very good" team because she needed more playing time. From your post, she's now getting it. Further, she gets along well with her team mates. Those are two really big potential issues that aren't problems here. You've been with this team for less than two months and a dozen games. Seriously, what is the problem? Is it really the 4-7 record? Is the team not pitching well, not playing sound defense, or just can't hit? What plays can't your DD attempt with this team that she was able to work on the previous team while sitting on the bench?

Players who are top-tier get the most playing time on the best teams with the best coaches. Then, there's the rest of us. My DD is a solid player on a good team, but would be a bench-warmer on a top-level team, and a star on many lesser teams. Every coach she's ever had, including me, is a mixture of competence and temperament. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Her current coach has his share of faults and some strange personality quirks, which DD and I often joke about. However, there are also some important things he does right, and I have little doubt that his intentions are good. From your post, your DD's coach isn't Gunny Hartman or a crook / liar. If your kid is getting PT and likes being on the team, and the team can win at least some of its games, it's a near-term fit.

I'd withhold final judgement about the coaching on a brand new team until the end of the spring season. I wouldn't say a word of criticism to any coach about a "little thing", and wouldn't criticize anything large without being prepared to turn in the uniforms at the end of the conversation. A better plan might be, if you're able, to help out at practices and games. At first, it could be as little as shagging balls or setting up a hitting net. After a period of credibility building, you might be able to make tactful suggestions that might positively influence the coach's performance. At the very least, you'd gain firmer insight on his thought process, for better or worse.
 
Last edited:
Nov 18, 2013
2,255
113
If your DD wasn't getting enough circle time on a great team, is that really helping her develop???

I don’t think the answer is as clear cut as many believe. For a girl just learning, or an average pitcher wanting to improve, then more innings are probably best. If you have a girl who’s already pretty good, being on a highly competitive team with great coaching and girls who are more driven will get her from pretty good to elite.
 
May 6, 2015
2,397
113
I've found that if you do things correctly, but different than what the coaches are teaching, and have success they will eventually leave you alone. I've gotten pretty good at the "You know what you are supposed to be doing, go out there and do it. If the coach says something just nod, say thanks, and continue doing what is right" speech. If after a while they still get on her for doing things the right way, might be time to move on if it is affecting her ability to have fun playing.

it is not a matter of conflicting instruction really, although there has been some of that, but I am certain some of that was some confusion on her part (she is 11). more a matter of she is not able to attempt the plays she thinks she should because other players are not reacting, she has green light from HC. Maybe I just tell her to start gunning, and if teammates are not where they should be, so be it. ;)

but there are other things we have picked up from her previous teams and watching and listening other teams that I think would really help this team, and things they need to show the girls they have not even mentioned yet (ie rundowns). not big philosophical or strategy changes, just a bunch of little things that accumulate up. I literally wrote them (OK typed, easier for me) all up last night, just to see what it adds up to.
 

Strike2

Allergic to BS
Nov 14, 2014
2,044
113
but there are other things we have picked up from her previous teams and watching and listening other teams that I think would really help this team, and things they need to show the girls they have not even mentioned yet (ie rundowns). not big philosophical or strategy changes, just a bunch of little things that accumulate up. I literally wrote them (OK typed, easier for me) all up last night, just to see what it adds up to.

There is never enough time for everything a coach would like to do at practice. Before rundowns, or even plays at places other than 1B, the fielding, throwing, and catching needs to be automatic. That can take awhile to build and, in the interim, you don't always go after the lead runner or simply chase a runner back rather than attempt a low-percentage play with very high risk. If your DD has a green light from the coach for a particular play, she should always attempt it in practice, but hold up during a game when it's obvious that her team mate isn't ready for it. You don't want throws flying around uncaught and games ultimately lost because of that.
 

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