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Thread: Dad uses kid as a messenger

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    Checking out the clubhouse Guinjasp's Avatar
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    Default Dad uses kid as a messenger

    I'm an assistant coach on a 10-U travel ball team. Last night we played a game with a slower pitcher which needed the girls to move up in the box as the ball was dropping in by their knees for no swing strikes. I instructed the girls before our inning at bat to move up which I verbally reminded them of when coaching first.
    One girl completely ignored the advice and ended up striking out looking. She has been struggling as Dad has her in baseball hitting instruction and us upcutting on everything thrown. This has made her very frustrated adding to her already temperamental demeanor. Anyway during her sit off between innings she came up to me and said "can you say something positive to me during my at bats". Needless to say I was little taken back and calmly explained that I was just trying to help her and explained that as a coach we need to make adjustments so that we have the best success. I explained I was not singling her out or being negative but trying to help and that all the girls got the same message.
    After the game I spoke to the head coach about the incident and to add to it our manager overheard the father instruct the girl to tell that message to me.
    I want the head coach to address the issue with the parent tonight before our game. He is worried that he will upset the Dad and he will quit the team before our championships as she is our 2nd best pitcher.
    How would u address. Do I just keep my mouth and keep the peace? Or insist it get addressed?

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    Certified softball maniac pattar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Guinjasp View Post
    I'm an assistant coach on a 10-U travel ball team. Last night we played a game with a slower pitcher which needed the girls to move up in the box as the ball was dropping in by their knees for no swing strikes. I instructed the girls before our inning at bat to move up which I verbally reminded them of when coaching first.
    One girl completely ignored the advice and ended up striking out looking. She has been struggling as Dad has her in baseball hitting instruction and us upcutting on everything thrown. This has made her very frustrated adding to her already temperamental demeanor. Anyway during her sit off between innings she came up to me and said "can you say something positive to me during my at bats". Needless to say I was little taken back and calmly explained that I was just trying to help her and explained that as a coach we need to make adjustments so that we have the best success. I explained I was not singling her out or being negative but trying to help and that all the girls got the same message.
    After the game I spoke to the head coach about the incident and to add to it our manager overheard the father instruct the girl to tell that message to me.
    I want the head coach to address the issue with the parent tonight before our game. He is worried that he will upset the Dad and he will quit the team before our championships as she is our 2nd best pitcher.
    How would u address. Do I just keep my mouth and keep the peace? Or insist it get addressed?
    I agree with the Dad..giving hitting instruction from the first base coaching box is not going to do a thing and is probably counterproductive. I would also like to point out that there is no difference between a mechanically sound
    swing in softball and baseball. JMHO, YMMV.

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    I'm a fan Hawk_'s Avatar
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    Instructions during practice, good swing thoughts during games.

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    I can talk softball all day Top_Notch's Avatar
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    Can't help you with advice to dad. But why didn't she move up in the box? Maybe she doesn't realize what that means? Or perhaps she moved closer to the plate thinking that is what you meant? I've seen girls have no idea what 'up in the box' was until it was literally showed to them. Then the light bulb went on.

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    Super Moderator sluggers's Avatar
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    My problem: "Moving up in the box" is not good advice for TB players. Just because it is common advice doesn't make it right.

    TB players are trying to become much better hitters. They have to learn to adjust their swing to hit slower pitches...the kids are going to face pitchers with changeups either this year or the next, and they will have to adjust their swing timing.
    Ray

    Every softball parent has a chef's knife and a hockey mask in the trunk of the car.

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    I can talk softball all day let it be fun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Guinjasp View Post
    I'm an assistant coach on a 10-U travel ball team. Last night we played a game with a slower pitcher which needed the girls to move up in the box as the ball was dropping in by their knees for no swing strikes. I instructed the girls before our inning at bat to move up which I verbally reminded them of when coaching first.
    One girl completely ignored the advice and ended up striking out looking. She has been struggling as Dad has her in baseball hitting instruction and us upcutting on everything thrown. This has made her very frustrated adding to her already temperamental demeanor. Anyway during her sit off between innings she came up to me and said "can you say something positive to me during my at bats". Needless to say I was little taken back and calmly explained that I was just trying to help her and explained that as a coach we need to make adjustments so that we have the best success. I explained I was not singling her out or being negative but trying to help and that all the girls got the same message.
    After the game I spoke to the head coach about the incident and to add to it our manager overheard the father instruct the girl to tell that message to me.
    I want the head coach to address the issue with the parent tonight before our game. He is worried that he will upset the Dad and he will quit the team before our championships as she is our 2nd best pitcher.
    How would u address. Do I just keep my mouth and keep the peace? Or insist it get addressed?
    You seem a little bit thin-skinned as a coach. This is 10U! Holy cow. Be positive about every little success. This is supposed to be FUN! A 10U player failed to do exactly what you told her to do and that is unusual? Go read the turning negatives into positives thread.

    I think you should look at this from the player and parent perspective. Perhaps she talked to her dad and told him that she thought you were being negative when she was at the plate. Dad might have told her that if she thinks she needs positive encouragement she should tell you that. I think it is positive that the kid talked to you about it and not the parent regardless of whose idea it was.

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    I can talk softball all day murphdog's Avatar
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    Sometimes not saying anything after a particularly bad at bat works better and then during the next practice work on the things that need to be addressed.
    DD is going to be a college freshman this fall so she is older but for a few years now she has been well aware of what she’s done wrong during an at bat and would prefer to process on her own and not talk about it during a game.

    That being said, I’d be proud of the girl for talking to you on her own because st 10U that doesn’t usually happen.

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    Certified softball maniac pattar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by murphdog View Post
    Sometimes not saying anything after a particularly bad at bat works better and then during the next practice work on the things that need to be addressed.
    DD is going to be a college freshman this fall so she is older but for a few years now she has been well aware of what she’s done wrong during an at bat and would prefer to process on her own and not talk about it during a game.

    That being said, I’d be proud of the girl for talking to you on her own because st 10U that doesn’t usually happen.
    Sometimes people forget, if they ever knew in the first place, how hard hitting is even without coaches yapping in your ear to stay back/keep your head in/move up in the box/etc. etc. etc.

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    Certified softball maniac MNDad's Avatar
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    I have several observations…

    -I’m pretty impressed that a 10U player approached a coach whether it was at her Father’s instruction or not.

    -Hitting advice/encouragement usually comes from the 3B coach. No problem if 1B is doing it instead. I just wouldn’t want anything but encouragement coming from both sides.

    -A little ironic that you’d like the Dad to talk to you instead of through his DD and you’re talking through the HC instead of dealing with it yourself.

    -From a pitchers Dad perspective, I loved it when opposing coaches would tell hitters how to adjust from the coaching box. It reinforces to the pitcher that she’s got them on their heels. The last thing you want to do is give a pitcher a boost with extra confidence.
    Relax and enjoy the ride

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    Checking out the clubhouse Jj malone's Avatar
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    I love when 3b coach yells "dont help her out" after swinging at a bad pitch, so they stare at one right down the middle next pitch. Or you have to start your swing earlier, just to get a change up. Just remind them count and outs with positive reinforcement.

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