Dad uses kid as a messenger

I think the biggest part of the player going to the coach instead of the parents doing it for them is building confidence in the player. If the player sees something they don't like or the coach is telling them something they don't understand most players just nod yes and go right back to doing what they were doing. Most of us have to work with our DD's to get them to approach an authority figure to ask questions. My DD is growing out of that because I will not talk to the coach/teacher's for her. She has come up to me multiple times asking why do we do it this way instead of this way, and I all I tell her is if she wants to know she needs to ask her coach (I think the coach is an idiot and no I do not share that thought with DD).

Just a side note here but I think one of the biggest challenges facing parents of little girls is teaching them to stand up for themselves. That is why I am so glad that mine has dove into sports the way she has.

Over coaching from the box is usually counter productive. Anything beyond a simple reminder queue is too much in game. That stuff needs to be addressed in practice and the queue should reinforce or remind what you were working on practice.

Like others I'm impressed a 10U player would go to a coach like she did.

Let it go, it isn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Many moons ago a similar situation made me reevaluate my communication during games.

Two thoughts.

Use one voice to the batter while hitting, same for pitching and fielders. These can be different coaches for each task but only one per task. If I am assistant and it is other coaches job I will tell them and let them decide what to say but too many voices is confusing.

When your daughter takes up driving how many things are you going to say and adjust while she is traveling down the highway? Same in batter box. Eyes on road/ball, you are doing great, etc. You bring to each game whatever you have and adjustments should be made between games at practice. As they get older it will become inning-to-inning, play-to-play then pitch-to-pitch. You will know when the time comes, they will let you know.

Bonus: pick keys sayings and let them know. If they are up 2-0 or 3-1 I use “In a Box” so they know be selective. Down 1-2 or 0-2 I use “Use all fields” which means cover the plate. I don’t want to say watch the change or something about it being 0-2 or JJ Malone’s will smile and his kid will throw high or outside that is so unhittable I gave my player zero chance.


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I love this forum. Thank you for the great advice and excellent perspective. Never stop learning and trying to make myself better for the girls.

If I can make a suggestion from a father with a DD that plays both baseball and softball, tell her to imagine hitting the top of the softball. A softball has forward spin on the ball so it will fall at a faster rate, whereas the baseball has backspin so it falls less. Your hands and eyes develop muscle memory on where to hit the ball when it's coming in at a certain location and where you "think" the ball will be by the time your bat gets there. We've quickly learned to "trick" the brain and muscle memory when going from one to another. Just tell her to try to hit the top of the softball and see if that makes a difference. If so, just go over this with her father. A good swing is a good swing regardless.

Ok, so I disagree with some of the advice. I'll give you my 2 cents and then, you can disregard it. As your dd, the team etc. grow, they need to have a plan and it is a major step when a coaching staff helps them with that plan. For example, you gave the advice to move up in the box. I don't disagree. However, the approach we teach is this. The first thing we ask our hitters to do is ask themselves if the pitcher can beat them with a fastball. Oh, I know that by later stages most don't throw a fastball but this is the approach I teach. Next, what is their strongest pitch. We want to take away pitches like drop balls by sliding up in the box. This is not willy nilly. Instead, we have a place where each hitter in a discussion with me places their foot for the typical pitcher we face. Now, if the pitcher can beat them with a FB, they adjust back slightly. Note, slightly which means about 5 inches. If we determine that our concern is their best pitch, we adjust forward or backward off of that "typical foot location."

I know that I am getting too technical but we then practice this. So, our players know how to adjust in a game if I come up and say, hey, you need to adjust this way or that way.

I hope that this makes sense.

^Cannonball, great advice as usual but I'm not convinced 10U is the time to be focusing on that, but maybe it should be.

murphdog said:

That being said, I’d be proud of the girl for talking to you on her own because st 10U that doesn’t usually happen.

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I was going to say something similar. As a coach, I'd much rather have the player talk to me than the parent. Use this as an opportunity to figure out a better way to work with her. All kids are different - some respond to a kick in the pants, others respond better to encouragement.