Preventing Additude Problems Before They Start

Background: 16U rec team in its 5th season. This year, for the first time, I have both 2 assistant coaches (former players of mine ) and 12 (possibly 13) total girls. Of these girls, they come from 4 different communities. 1 girl plays 12U (youth level, and knows she'll likely be a sub), 8 play modified softball, 1 plays JV softball, and 2 play Varsity. (the 13th girl would also be modified). We practice once a week to prep. for our season starting at the end of June.

The two varsity girls are from different schools - 1 should be our pitcher, the other the catcher. We've had 2 practices so far, and the two girls seem to like working with each other very well. The pitcher, however, has not exactly made many allies among other teammates: Developed a bit of an attitude - something of an "I'm a varsity player, so I'm better than you modified girls", and many of her new teammates have said they're not comfortable working with her because they feel belittled or bothered by snide remarks she's making. Full disclosure, she is a good athlete, has a good head for the game, and would make valuable offensive and pitching contributions to the team this year.

This pitcher played for a different team in our league last year and was coming to my team this year as a favor from her dad, since he's decent friends with me and knew my team was in trouble last year, ability-wise. She did not pitch for that team last year - she's very much a utility player on the field - can play anywhere. She hasn't given any coaches attitude at all, minus occasionally not doing something a way a coach shows her to, which I would somewhat expect from a varsity athlete if they have their own idiosyncrasies about things.

All three coaches (myself and my 2 asst. coaches) have noticed her attitude developing since the start of the season. We want to find a way to appropriately discuss this with her next practice to curtail it without a.) Causing her to up and leave (we believe she thinks the team will be nothing without her, and she'd have an open invitation from the team she played with before) or b.) Taking the team down with her. We have 3 other girls on the team that can pitch, but they are not at this pitcher's level of experience, but I've told the girls, "We don't do this for wins/losses, we do this to make you better, and if your intentions are to negatively impact the team, find the gate". As coaches, how would you address the situation at your next practice if this were a girl on your team?

(edit: I know I spelled "attitude" wrong in the title. It's been a long weekend, personally. Forgive me).

Move them around at practice and show them some fun. If the deva acts up then have the talk.
Tell her you are really expecting her to be a leader to all the girls. Let her know what you expect.
Maybe they will bond if you can get them loosened up.

Preventing attitude problems? With teenage girls? In softball? Lol...what are you smoking?

In my perfect world, telling the diva to button it or leave the team because she's easily replaceable is the favored answer. However, that doesn't appear realistic here. As a less-than-perfect alternative, I think that pulling her AND the catcher aside and appealing to their ego may help. Tell them that, as the most experienced players, you need them to be leaders on the field, and explain that "being a leader" means building up their team mates so that you'll all be successful. In this way, you're not singling the pitcher out for either praise or criticism. Since she and the catcher seem to be working well, you can use the catcher to help move the pitcher in a more positive direction.

gdc03120 said:

Background: 16U rec team in its 5th season. This year, for the first time, I have both 2 assistant coaches (former players of mine ) and 12 (possibly 13) total girls. Of these girls, they come from 4 different communities. 1 girl plays 12U (youth level, and knows she'll likely be a sub), 8 play modified softball, 1 plays JV softball, and 2 play Varsity. (the 13th girl would also be modified). We practice once a week to prep. for our season starting at the end of June.
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Click to expand...

My first thought... she just doesn't want to be there. I don't know how her HS team is, but I am guessing this level of play is going to be a major step down for her and she is probably not looking forward to playing softball with only one or 2 other players who actually can play fastpitch. That can be very frustrating.

It is worth talking to her directly about it. She may not even know she is doing it. Just letting her frustration out with teammates not at her level around her.

Some kids need their ego's stroked. Your girl knows she is the best player. Sometimes they need to be told they are the best but being the best comes with certain expectations and responsibilities.

I coach my DD's soccer team. One girl on our B/C level team(not my DD) played with an A level team last year. She was demoted because of a bad attitude and poor effort. At the start of the season, I told her we needed her to be a good example because she had the most experience and was our best player. She appears to be taking it to heart as she is leading the team in scoring and has been a good practice player.

I told her specifically I wanted her to be our leader in warmups all season. I use her as a good example in practice and occasionally ask her to help kids who are struggling in certain areas.

She hasn't been perfect, but the problems she had last year have been greatly reduced.

Thank you all for the words/responses. I definitely agree with the majority of what was posted. It appears, however, that the matter has solved itself, when I received a FB message this morning from said player:

"I’m sorry to say that I will be playing for the XXXXXXXX team (again this year). They are my family from last year and I don’t feel right but playing with them"

I would be 100% lying if I said I did not see this coming. I would also be 100% lying if I said I had not been preparing for this from the beginning, since I knew this was a distinct possibility she would end up bailing. What started this entire situation was a couple of comments made during our first practice, either just openly under her breath or TO other players where said player remarked I was "a bad coach" and "My dad should've known better". (Full Disclosure: Her dad was the one that suggested she play for me this year, as his words were, "I knew you guys were going to need help this year, and (she) could be that help for you." - he's not incorrect in saying this.)

My gut instinct tells me what she sent is not the entire story. I feel like she believes this team to be a step down in talent and/or competition level from her past team (the team she played with last year won the league's championship) and did not want to be surrounded by people who were "out of her league" (my words, not hers). While I can understand the concept, I feel it should've been done face-to-face to the coaches instead of behind a computer (it is 2018), but with about 1.5 months to go before the start of the season, it at least allows me time to look at other girls on the team who have stated they are interested in pitching and work with them without the burden of thinking, "Will they ever get to pitch if I have a #1?" I guess some issues have a way of working themselves out.

This is also my response to her message: "I appreciate you letting me know. I am saddened to hear this decision was made. We (the coaches) have had full expectations you would be a leader for this team like varsity players are expected to be. That being said, we will proceed from here. Thank you for your time, and best of luck this season."