Playing Time and Parent Problems

You made your bed and now you get to feel what it is like to lie in it.

You picked up two girls so the team would not forfeit...Good job

After girls recovered and came back you kept the new girls because they were better players and better attitude...Not so good job

This is REC and supposed to be for fun if the new girls had wanted to play softball after school was out they should have sign up like everyone else.

I've done 13 players on an All Star team once it worked out but not without pain and suffering.

I don't think if you were looking for sympathy you are going to find much here.

BOTTOM LINE: Live and Learn sometimes you just have to go through things and experience things to understand them then you move on and do better next time.

Never said I wanted sympathy. That's found in the dictionary between "s**t" and "Syphilis" as far as I'm concerned. I said at the end of my OP that I am just asking for advice and gauging what others have done in similar situations like this.

THE TEAM wanted the 2 new girls on - I was bombarded with my players asking, "Are X and Y playing tomorrow? They should. They did great" and so on. I could've cut them and had a revolt from my girls (who were already getting down on themselves as it is from struggling against better players) or I could've kept them so spirits were up because we had a boost from new individuals. So when I asked them and they said "Yes", they wanted to continue, it was for the sake of the girls' attitudes (even if I knew it would be an issue with time, but what isn't). I knew it was a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation. I just didn't expect this from a parent who, up to this point, had always been positive with me and I'd had NO issues with at all.

Either way - like you said - live and learn. I've already got a yellow legal pad of notes about changes I'm making for next year. I'm adding this near the top of the list. Guest players get a 2-game limit (if that, unless there's some odd circumstance like an injury, etc.) I've already got a full page going after this season. =P

Parent's behavior is unacceptable, I do not think anyone here would disagree with that.

It can not happen again.

I think you need to know what your plans are for thier DD going forward before having conversation.

(I have never had a parent explode after 1 game, it has probly been building up all season. Or in your specific case probly when you added the 2 new players a few games ago)

His DD was playing in those games when the new girls had joined my roster. Her bat is VERY weak, as I said previously (swings at garbage, watches great pitches by), but she plays decent RF - backs up 1B every play (solid for a 12 year old with minimal focus). So that's why I don't feel as bad using her as a Flex and letting another player do the hitting. The parent is actually a neighbor of mine - we've ALWAYS been cordial - any questions he's always found a way to find me and ask. This was one of those shots to the face that I never saw coming at all.

gdc03120 said:

I tell every player up-front that playing time is a reflection of commitment (playing/practicing hard, not just showing up), following directions, focus, and who we're playing (we are a weaker team BUT have stayed competitive for the most part). No player is getting "cast aside" or dismissed - development includes understanding one's role on a team for a given situation, otherwise they won't accept anything at the HS level - players embrace their role (whether sub, starter, etc) or they don't play period.

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That's good that you communicated how it's going to be, but that doesn't mean it's the best vision for a rec team, IMO. Did you communicate this when they signed up? Or at the first practice, after they'd paid their money and there's no going back?

I don't think kids sign up for rec teams to learn how to play a minor role in preparation for playing a minor role in high school. Most are thinking, ''Spare me the life lesson, this is rec ball, put me in coach.''

And, sure, the majority of the players want to play to win. That's because the majority of players will get to play more if you make winning a priority, and they'll also get to win more. But that not a fair question. Tell them that you are about to add 5 travel players and then see how much they want to win.

To be fair, I'd have to experience your league and situation to give it a fair hearing. I'm not there. But when I think rec league and my experiences of it, I feel like kids don't have to 'earn' the right to play in the same way they do in travel or HS ball. Their parents 'paid' for the right, assuming a reasonable level of commitment.

I have a pre-season information meeting open to all returning and new/interest players/parents - everything about my team is addressed in that meeting. I want it as up-front and open for transparency as humanly possible.

No "fee" to play for me like tournament ball, it's just money for PART of the uniform (that the team covers the rest through donations). They could arguably quit any time and all they gave up was some time and have a uniform to keep from it. If I charged more, I wouldn't have a team - very very middle-class, slightly below average socioeconomic statuses around my parts.

I also HAVE a travel ball player who plays for me (my SP) who has missed games because of tournaments - they knew that going in about a month before games, so we prepared for that by having players practice multiple spots. The girls who came on aren't travel ball players - they are just Varsity athletes who had nothing to do when I asked and were willing to step in and make a difference where we needed. The "regular" girls were impressed, saw they did a good job, and asked me to have them play. Now that they are playing, that's where the issue comes in - I want my girls all to play where I can get them, but the struggle is justifying me benching 1 or 2 varsity players for 1 or 2 6th graders WHILE still trying to convince the girls who say we need to win that we will. I'm damned if I do/damned if I don't.

Every team in this league is much different than the others. We get some teams who come from bigger organizations who just join our league so we have other teams and never do our playoffs, we have some like mine who struggle to get numbers most of the time, and we have some who can't turn girls away so they have 15-16 player rosters.

Our leaque tournament starts Friday, it will be interesting if the coach cracks down on positions, playing time, etc.

A couple years ago he pulled one of our pitchers aside before it started and told her she was not going to pitch in the tournament. She was in tears, parents upset. IMO it was addressed up frount opposed to festering all tournament.

(No it was not my DD. I would be in tears and DD would say shutup dad. I do not know who that person is)

That's something else about our league - to ensure we don't have "ringers" for our playoff rosters, all players on a playoff roster must make 50% of league games to be eligible (for our league, that's 6 out of 12 games). The girls who came on - one has 4, one has 3, and we have 4 games left in our regular season. I can't fault them for wanting to be at these games and play so that they get the eligibility - they're making that commitment themselves over anything else they can be doing. If I can get all of the girls to play somehow, I've accomplished my mission, and hopefully without pissing off any parents along the way.

I'm sure, at some point, I'll figure something out. My intention is to never lose players, and sometimes I make judgments that appear as though I'm not devoted or dedicated to my athletes. But as a coach, if I felt that way, I shouldn't be coaching period. I want them to succeed, but I also want them to realize there's times and places and situations. I never planned to lose 3 players for a week - I made the necessary decisions I had to in order that we stay competitive in our league. So far it has worked to our advantage except for one parent's dislike that his daughter sat for 25 minutes of a game.

gdc03120 said:

So far it has worked to our advantage except for one parent's dislike that his daughter sat for 25 minutes of a game.

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Right or wrong in thier mind there was a lot more then that. I will repeat a previous post, I have never had a parent explode after 1 game. It has been building for whatever reason.

First off, a league age 12U player has no business playing 16U. It's not appropriate even if she was a stud and could hang with the older players which in your case she can't as she is a bench player. Sorry I can't get on board with that at all and the parents and coaches are doing this kid a disservice by allowing it.

Initially, you did what you needed to field a team when you were short players. Good on you.

However, you chose to add those p/u players to enhance your team for the remainder of the season. Unless you needed to add them to field a team you should have left them on speed dial and continued with your original 11. P/U players added out of necessity are fine but if they are added for other reasons then it's almost always a sure thing for ruining team chemistry.


IMO the dad probably shouldn't have conducted that discussion in front of others but his message is appropriate.