Cutting Players.

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Jun 24, 2013
31
0
Jacksonville
I am an assistant coach for a second year 10u travel ball team. I have always believed when you take a kid in they are family, I have been coach for 3 years now and despite what people say it takes a lot out of you. We put a new team together this fall, our first 5 tournaments the team did really well.

Only issue we had was one of this kids we took at tryouts who had a really good tryout, made quite a few errors, this girl was slower than we liked as well but we loved this kid so we wanted to keep her and thought with time we could really develop her, after all her bat wasn't ridiculously bad it was serviceable she was just a liability of the bases and the field.

However her father was talking among other parents, that she should be playing more, or playing here even went so far as to talk to the head coach and talk down other players to build his up. He had had to talk to the father 5 weekends in a row after the tournament about playtime etc.

So last night, we made the decision to let the child go, it was a vote and not 100% but 4 coaches started the team and we will do what's best for the team. My child was really great friends with the girl, loved her. My son was really good friends with their son as well when he found out the news he was in tears.

The thought of that baby girl getting that news, just makes me not want to be involved with coaching anymore, I just don't love it enough to feel that an 11 year old kid has to hear that news. The father called and talked to me, I tried to be honest but he wouldn't hear it, it was all conspiracies against his child. When everyone loved the child but we couldn't take the cancer anymore, what do you do.

Does this ever get easier?
 
Apr 5, 2013
2,130
83
Back on the dirt...
You made the right call. A tough call for sure but the right call. You cannot have a cancer on the team that destroys the rest of the team. If left untreated it will tear the team apart.

As for you, you have to decide what's best for you. I still have some negative self thoughts after cutting a player for all stars 3 years ago. She was a good player but had a MOUTHY mom. We could have used the player but not the mom. I don't regret not taking her but I do still think about it.
 
May 17, 2012
2,804
113
It seems you have learned a lesson about selecting players for your team. You viewed her as a player that you could develop but the father didn't see it that way.

Just remember it's your expectations (the teams) vs the players (and parents) expectations. When those two things align life is good for all involved.

When taking on a player I go into A LOT of detail with the parents on how the player fits into the current team. You will save a lot of headaches if you can resolve this before the season starts.
 
Mar 8, 2016
313
63
Alex,
It is a tough position. If the parent is causing significant problems maybe you cut them. However I feel that once you take a girl onto a team you cannot cut them for performance.
DD's rec team put together a travel team to play in a couple of 10u tournaments during the summer when she was 8. She loved softball so I asked if she could practice with the team. The coach said yes he would be glad to have her. It is close time for the first tournament and coach thinks the ASA rules are like Dixie and he has to have 12 girls on the roster. DD is asked to join the team. She is obviously #12 out of 12. We went to the tournament and a she had a blast. She played a couple of innings in right field . She tried to bat a couple of times and waved at several pitches. At the time they seemed like 90 mph fast balls. There was another tournament in 2 weeks and DD was all excited to go. Wednesday before the tournament I got a phone call from the coach telling me that DD would not be needed for the next tournament. Two new girls who couldn't make the first tournament were going to be able to make this one. DD had been to every practice and these girls had never been there. I was disappointed but understood them wanting better players and that my DD was over matched by the competition level. The team was not good and had gotten run ruled in every game. When I broke the news to DD she asked who was going to the tournament and when I got to the names of the 2 new girls I could see her thinking. She then started crying. It was the first time in her life I had ever seen her cry. I had no idea it would have that kind of impact on her. It was hard to see her hurting so bad. Fast forward three years and the same coach in the same organization had a 12u team that DD made at tryouts. This coach brought in 7 new players over the course of the year. In hindsight I realized his DD was aging up to 14u the next year and he was trying to get girls to make a team. DD was a middle of the pack player on this team but the 11 year olds never played because the coach was essentially conducting year round tryouts for next years team. At the first tournament DD never played and batted once. In the first game 6 consecutive balls were missed at first base by 4 girls while DD and another girl who both had extensive rec playing time at first base never got a chance. It was the second time I had seen DD cry.
Through all this I was lucky because these roadblocks made my DD work harder to improve her play. It also caused our family to seek out opportunities outside our local community to give her opportunities. Fast forward to DD freshman year of HS and she is leading her team in BA, HR, extra base hits, and stolen bases.
I point all this out to have your coaching staff think about the impact on this girl.
 
Oct 30, 2014
292
18
Seattle
I believe you can cut a player due to performance - at tryouts. Not in the middle of the season, the situation above sucks. If a player is far out matched in the middle of the season I would explain to the family that I don't think the level of play is right for the players development nor for the performance of the team and she will probably grow more and get more playing time elsewhere. Once they have that information the parents and player can decide if they like the team and experience enough without much playing time or to move on.

Cutting a player in the middle of the season because they (or their parents) are toxic to the team is always valid.
 
May 24, 2013
12,461
113
So Cal
I would have a very hard time cutting a player mid-season due to performance. It would have to be something pretty dramatic. However, adjusting their playing time or role in tournaments due to performance is pretty likely. However, make sure you have a solid case on why the player is getting less playing time, or is playing a smaller role (courtesy runner, for example), because there will very likely be a discussion with the parent on why their kid isn't playing full time. What I have seen is that parents with a elevated sense of their kid's abilities will most often remove their kid from the team on their own. If the parent has been one to vent a lot to the other parents, their departure often brings a sense of relief to the team.
 

marriard

Not lost - just no idea where I am
Oct 2, 2011
4,312
113
Florida
We have certainly helped players move to a better situation for them mid-season due to a variety of reasons (level of play, level of commitment, availability changes, moving, etc, etc) but we have never cut a player from a team because of performance. If the family (and the player) understands they are not playing much, and they are OK (or say they are OK) then OK....

But I will cut a parent and the family in a heartbeat if they are proving to be a cancer. And I have no issue telling the parent directly that they are the reason we are doing it. I have had the "We love your kid, but you - we gave you every chance but you can't help yourself."

Our parents agreement says that is they are disruptive in anyway they are not welcome to interact directly at practices or games and must watch from center field or drop their kid off and leave until it is over (this is first offense penalty). And if they are disruptive to the team despite being in center field - or they don't want to stay in center field to watch, well then they are going to be some other teams problem. Player performance level doesn't matter. We cut the then 'best' pitcher in the state once... the team got better and was much more pleasant to be around. She is right now out of travel softball because she has run out of teams to play for and I am told her high school team is toxic. She isn't the main issue - it is her crazy mother and her enabler father.
 

JAD

Feb 20, 2012
8,231
38
Georgia
Cutting players is never fun, especially when it is a good kid and the parents are just unbearable. We would make sure that we let the parent know why we were cutting someone and if it was them, we hoped that they would learn a lesson and not make the same mistake twice. The other option is to keep the player and let the parents know that THEY are on double secret probation!
 
Sep 29, 2014
2,421
113
I think some of it has to fall on the coach after the first time or two maybe you can say you are waiting to see improvement or whatever but maybe after that third time you have to look the parent in the eye and say" I made a commitment to your DD that she could be on this team and I will keep up my end but right now your DD is 12 of 12 on the depth chart that means she will probably play a pool game and possibly sub in another and maybe bat here and there in bracket play but right now she is not one of my 10 best fielders and her batting is good but not great and her speed on the bases prevent her from pinch running. If she works hard and improves this could change if she is willing to work hard I will work with her but I want to be honest about where she stands on the team!" Now the next time he approaches you and asks about playing time you have a reference point to which you can say "I have not seen a significant enough improvement since our last conversation for my position to change thanks" and walk away.
 

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