Parents pushing too hard...

As a coach is there anything you can say to the parents of a good player who is pushing her too much? Player pitches and can hit the crap out of the ball but is ready to stop pitching due to parents constantly riding her to "correct" what ever they think she is doing. She is ready to quit pitching and the game. I want her to enjoy the game.

Has anyone had any success or do you just ride it out? She respects me and I want to help her if i can. Just dont want to over step my boundary.

How old is the player? The answer for 10U may vary dramatically from 16U.

I am in a similar situation. I just give the player the props they deserve and let them know that it is one of the hardest things to do in the game to be alone on a mound with everyone watching and relying on them. Saying something to the parent would likely inflame the situation.

What they do outside of practice and games is none of my business.

During games and practice they need to be quiet.

JAD said:

How old is the player? The answer for 10U may vary dramatically from 16U.

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Sorry meant to add that. Its first year 12u 05's

quincy said:

What they do outside of practice and games is none of my business.

During games and practice they need to be quiet.

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Her dad is an AC on the TB and HC on LL team.


We do talk regularly o each other but I have not yet touched this subject. She was injured last tourney and is struggling to work through it. They are still pushing her hard.

Dont get me wrong! I get it and was that dad not too long ago. Now that I have backed off, dd is exploding in growth on and off the field. Now, I just encourage and only occasionally PUSH loudly.

It's interesting. I met parents in first year 10U who were putting their kids on specific (expensive) teams because they wanted them to play (on scholarship of course) at a specific college. Some of these parents seem to have their kids' entire softball "career" mapped out for them. Plus what they're going to do when they grow up and probably how many kids and pets they'll have. Let it go, controlling parents. They're going to do what they want to do in the end.

My advice is to tread carefully. Some parents may be open minded and willing to accept some friendly advice. Others are not.

Luckily for me, I had a close friend that talked to me about this very topic. I was "this dad" when DD was younger. I had a great deal of respect for the person that spoke with me and was able to adjust my thought process. Now DD and I are both happy with her progress and I truly believe that our relationship is much better because I became less of an A$$.

I have told this story before, but I will mention it again. While coaching rec, my assistant coach was a very close friend. His DD and my DD competed against each other. It was friendly for a while, but eventually turned sour. Eventually they both turned to travel ball but for different teams. Him and I remained close and talked softball almost daily. Eventually his DD had an opportunity to play for a local A team and asked my advice. While I tried to be as diplomatic as possible, I suggested that it may not be the best decision for her. He resented that and our relationship has not been the same since. Ultimately his DD decided to join the A team. She went from being the #1 pitcher and playing the field during other games, to not pitching at all and playing the field 25% of the time or less. I legitimately thought I was trying to be helpful by offering him both sides of the story. Unfortunately that is not what he wanted to hear.

I am afraid that you found yourself in a very difficult position. It sounds like you want to help this young lady, but ultimately that will be up to the parents. As I said, tread carefully...

4 girl's dad said:

Her dad is an AC on the TB and HC on LL team.
We do talk regularly o each other but I have not yet touched this subject. She was injured last tourney and is struggling to work through it. They are still pushing her hard.

Dont get me wrong! I get it and was that dad not too long ago. Now that I have backed off, dd is exploding in growth on and off the field. Now, I just encourage and only occasionally PUSH loudly.

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I was very lucky that someone I respected stepped in and told me that my DD was playing way too much, I was not taking it into consideration, and she was going to burn out if I didn't stop it.

It doesn't have to be anything formal - it can be a simple "Dude, you have to get off her back before she just quits." comment during a practice/game/whenever.

If you say something it might get a very defensive response and they will stop talking to you forever, a defensive response and then they will think about it and realize you (may) have a point or they may be grateful that you said something. You have to be willing to accept any of those three scenarios. But the real point is you said something that needed to be said - the consequences will be what they are.

If they are HC, not much you can do.

You will only get yourself and maybe DD in trouble.