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May 6, 2015
2,397
113
need some advice. situation DD is 9, really good rec (LL) player (played with 9 and 10 yr olds last year). wants to pitch, needs to work on it. good glove, good arm, good bat, needs more power. think she is ready to move to travel, and she wants to as well (would like to play where when she makes a good throw, chances are teammate catches it, or where SS and 3B do not watch two balls in a row roll between them with no reaction when she is pitching)

coach of a local travel team (coached 10u last year), also local LL BOD member, set up winter (indoor, we are in Mid Atlantic States) softball workouts for 9-12 year olds this winter, first one was this past weekend. He and I have not always seen eye to eye, but I respect his knowledge of the game (knows way more than I do I will admit), but he has a history of manipulating things in LL to favor his travel team girls, which a couple of times has adversely affect my DDs.

I go and help out (all coaching is volunteers, all $ collected is for the facility), my DD attends. As we are leaving, I ask him when tryouts for 10u travel team are. Basically non commital answer, says he will work out roster, I ask him when he makes decisions, he says "we will have it sorted out by mid February" (he knows my DD as a player pretty well, and has always been complimentary and encouraging to her). This travel team, at least 12u and 10 u teams, most of the girls play LL as well. Asks me is I am interested in coaching LL 14u team (I have coached DDs team at coach pitch and 10u for 4 years now), as my older DD also has played softball, and would be on that team this spring. I tell him honestly that (A) older DD is not certain to be playing softball this spring (her primary sport is field hockey, starting to concentrate more on that now, she is 13), and (B) I honestly do not think I know the game well enough to coach that level (I think I could certainly help some of the less experienced/talented girls on the team, it is LL, but any travel players that come out would know higher level mechanics and game tactics better than I). He also indicates they need coach of 10u travel team, apparently he is moving up to the 12u team (his niece plays, looks like he is moving with her)

Dilemmas

- do I express interest in coaching the 10 u travel team? - downside, again, not certain I am knowledgeable enough to coach travel ball (LL, fine, most girls at 10u have very little experience, most of work is on very basics). upside, certainty that my DD is on team (although I think talent wise she easily belongs, and I know of most of the 10u players in this area, team basically draws only from three townships that all go to same middle and high school, so I am pretty assured in that assumption).

- do investigate other local travel teams in the area? downside, we would play in the same league, so I am certain there would be some hard feelings. upside, my DD avoids being left hanging.

- do I simply continue to coach LL (I am also on BOD), and see what happens?

- other options

mainly do not want DD to be left hanging because this guy likes to keep things close to the vest and not transparent, very much likes to have total control. I think she has the talent for travel ball, but needs to be pushed. She has been better than most of the LL players she has played with or against, and I think this is starting to get into her head, but if she really wants to be good, she needs to push herself more. I think playing at higher level will help he learn this better than I can explain (and oh how I have tried).
 
Sep 29, 2014
2,421
113
If you coached 4 years at 10U (even in LL) guessing as both DDs came up you can coach a 10U travel team assuming you have put in some level of effort to learn the game (if you don't have any previous background).

The question is do you have the time and temperament to do it? If the answer is yes I say volunteer to coach and then get a couple good assistants you can trust, especially when it come to evaluating your DD.

If not, just go with the flow, if you DD does not get picked to play with this team offer to guest or play with whatever team you can, there should be a local website with teams advertising their needs you can looks through.
 
Nov 29, 2009
2,975
83
It sounds like it's time to run from your current situation. What you need to do is to research some of the other local travel teams in the area. See if you can find a situation that best suits your DD's skill level coming out of LL moving into full time travel. There can be a huge difference in skill level and many parents who are new to travel underestimate the jump. If there is an established organization with non-parent coaching you'll want to look into that. Just be ready for some sticker shock when it comes to cost and time commitment.

After reading what you posted. My gut feeling is you don't trust the guy who your DD would be playing for in the LL program. If you feel he's manipulating situations for his own gain then there's no reason to stick around. You don't owe them anything. You've served on the BOD of the league. Unless, you feel the need to control things. You may need to step back a take a realistic view of yourself and your own motives.

If your DD is as strong as you say she then devote 100% of your time to her while supporting the older DD who is playing FH. There are tons of drills and skills videos on here as well as YouTube. Get her on a full time travel team. Observe the practices. Make mental notes. Watch what the other travel coaches do. You may be surprised that your knowledge pool may not be as shallow as you think. You may want to try and be an assistant coach it there's a possibility.
 
Feb 4, 2015
641
28
Massachusetts
At 9, talent means nothing. What you need to ask instead is 1. Does she love the game? 2. Is she willing to work at it? If both of those answers are yes, go find a club team with a good coach who is focused on developing her skills and fundamentals. Get away from the town politics and daddy ball. Do what's best for her.

On coaching, don't coach if you don't think you know how to build skills in 12-13 other girls without constantly being concerned about your own DD. This is about them, not about you controlling your DD's situation. I don't intend that to sound as harsh as it might, but hopefully you know what I mean.

Good luck. She's 9. Find her a good situation where she can bloom... and try to relax and enjoy it.
 

JAD

Feb 20, 2012
8,231
38
Georgia
80% of 10U and 12U TB would not be around if coaches waited until they "thought they were ready" before they started coaching. 10U is a great age level to jump in and see if you have what it takes. If you get lucky you will find a couple of good assistant coaches to help out and y'all can learn together. When my DD was playing 10U we were basically a REC All Star team, so there was not a lot of pressure to win, just emphasize fundamentals and enjoying the game. They will have plenty of time at 16U and 18U to take it seriously.
 
Jun 27, 2011
5,089
0
North Carolina
- do I express interest in coaching the 10 u travel team? - downside, again, not certain I am knowledgeable enough to coach travel ball (LL, fine, most girls at 10u have very little experience, most of work is on very basics). upside, certainty that my DD is on team (although I think talent wise she easily belongs, and I know of most of the 10u players in this area, team basically draws only from three townships that all go to same middle and high school, so I am pretty assured in that assumption).

Ideally, one of your motivations to coach will be that you see a need out there and can be of service. In other words, you see a group of kids that really need a coach, and if you don't step up, the players in your area will be poorer because of it. And that doesn't mean that you think highly of yourself as a coach, per se. Just means that you trust that you'll be passionate, fair, conscientious and organized and that you really care about all of the kids.

If my DD were 9 again, I'd rather have that kind of coach, albeit inexperienced with much to learn, than an experienced coach who is exploiting an opportunity and doing it to meet selfish competitive needs or primarily to put his daughter in a better position.

You didn't say anything to make me think you would be Type B coach, but just thought that I'd throw that out because I do think more coaches need to ponder 'why am I really doing this?' and 'Is the world a better place with me in the dugout or in the stands?'
 
Feb 4, 2015
641
28
Massachusetts
I do think more coaches need to ponder 'why am I really doing this?'
...one of your motivations to coach will be that you see a need out there and can be of service. In other words, you see a group of kids that really need a coach, and if you don't step up, the players in your area will be poorer because of it.


^^^^^ this

What OP wrote....
- do I express interest in coaching the 10 u travel team? - downside, again, not certain I am knowledgeable enough to coach travel ball... upside, certainty that my DD is on team
 
Feb 15, 2016
273
18
I don't like the board of directors guy at all and I don't even know him. It sounds like he loves the control he has over both the LL and the travel teams. However, I also understand that a lot of "local" TB teams that are somehow affiliated with a LL or a community rely on folks just like this guy or they don't even have a program. I don't know how far you are from other travel teams, but I would take a look at what is nearby.

That said, most of us take up coaching at some point because we have a DD involved. There is NOTHING wrong with this. There are thousands of girls who play on local travel teams coached by dads/moms and many of these teams are actually pretty dang good. If you have the time and the desire to coach a 10U TB team go for it! Go to a few coaching clinics, go watch a good 16U team practice, etc... Watch videos, read the threads on this site... When I started coaching at 10U "C" travel, we went to our second tournament and got our doors blown off by a really good 10U team from about an hour away. After the game, I talked to the coach and got his number. He had been coaching for years. I went to watch a couple of their practices and picked up a lot of good ideas for how to run a practice. I went to coaching clinics. I learned how to be a better coach. Get yourself a couple of good assistants who can help you be a neutral evaluator of your DD. The single most important thing you can do as a parent HC is be sure that the team does not revolve around your DD. At 10U have a ton of fun. Let the girls play different positions. Mix up the batting order. OMG, nobody cares about who won the random Memorial Day XYZ shootout at 1st year 10U. Well, except for the parents of 1-2 players who think this is "TB" and we need to focus on winning. Your daughter might be the best kid on the team but she can still take her turn batting towards the bottom and playing in the dreaded 10U outfield. At 10U I had a rotation and all girls got to play both IF and OF and I split the team in half and made two half-team batting orders and rotated which order led off each game. The first 10U "C" team I ever coached had two future D1 players on it. One of those girls had never played before and could hardly catch when we started. By the end of the season she was our best player. If we would have had "serious" tryouts she might not have made the team and would probably have been a soccer player. Did I ruin any of those girls by not running outstanding practices or teaching them perfect hitting technique? Of course not. We had a ton of fun and the girls loved to show up for practices and games. They all improved greatly just by getting reps. It has to be about player development at that age.

OK, I am sorry. Rant over...
 
Jun 27, 2011
5,089
0
North Carolina
That said, most of us take up coaching at some point because we have a DD involved. There is NOTHING wrong with this.

True, and I hope my comments didn't suggest that helping your own DD isn't an appropriate motivation (as long as it's not the only one). When I formed a team at 10U, I did it because my DD was ready for travel ball, and so were another 10-11 kids her age in her rec league.

There's a fine line between seeing that as a opportunity to help out DD and several other girls vs. seeing that as a opportunity to craft a situation that is perfect for DD and not the group as a whole.

In short, just think about why you're doing it.
 

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