When To Tell HC We're Moving On?

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LetsPlayTwo

LetsPlayTwo
Jul 4, 2014
24
0
Ohio
DD has decided that she does not want to continue with her current team (1st yr. 14U). No problem/negligible drama, nobody's PO'd, Wins/Losses aren't a problem. This isn't a grass-is-greener situation. She will be starting HS next year and wants to tryout with the more "local" org/team that has a significant number of classmates/friends. DD has talent, but is simply not on the college softball path so we do not need to make this a fulltime job with ever-more development, competition, exposure, travel, money, etc. Softball is about competing while having fun with friends and enhancing high school experience in that order. She has been with current coach for 2 yrs and I have been an AC and we get along well. She has a spot on current team and while I can't guarantee the outcome of tryouts with the 'new' team, I'm optimistic should would receive an offer. Question: When is it the best time to mention the likely departure of a player and AC to the HC? We have a couple tournaments and league games left, then tryouts early Aug. He's a big boy and knows movement is not uncommon in this game. However, DD could be considered one of his core players and he would need to find at least 1 new AC. He has made a couple statements about the team make-up for next season and I've tried not to show too much interest and basically just listen. Waiting until tryouts doesn't seem right, but I don't want sour the end of the season by disclosing things too soon.
 
Oct 11, 2010
8,337
113
Chicago, IL
I think we protected DD too long, she is 15 now and I expect her to speak up.

Both DW and me have her back but she needs to speak up.

Discuss it and let her make a decision.
 
Nov 29, 2009
2,975
83
You and your DD need to have a sit down with the coach this week. Let him know your DD is not going to play ball in college and she is looking for a less intense team environment for the future. That will give him time to try and find a suitable replacement for your DD and another AC.

I hope this is not about "friends" and she's genuinely committed to not playing in college. I've seen too many kids go the friends route with disastrous results when it came to their recruiting opportunities.
 
Jan 18, 2010
4,284
0
In your face
For me, pledging to play is for one season, usually spring to late summer. After that, we will discuss the future, possibly some fall tournaments yada yada. That also means girls are free to stay or free to go. As a coach it's always appreciated to get some "heads up" early, if a player is strongly considering to leave. It's just polite.

She will be starting HS next year and wants to tryout with the more "local" org/team that has a significant number of classmates/friends.

On a side of caution, and you may already have looked into this, but most states carry the 50% high school rule for travel/competitive teams during the school year. Being a freshman, when HS tryouts are, and then if she makes the "official roster", might not affect you this year. But it is something to consider in the long run.
 

Chris Delorit

Member
Apr 24, 2016
343
28
Green Bay, WI
Right away & at the conclusion of her season. Be honest & graceful. Her coaches have dedicated much of their time & energy to helping your daughter develop both softball & life skills. They'll understand you're situation & appreciate the straightforwardness. Your daughter should thank the head coach in person. If she's been a great kid, you'll likely leave the door open for the future.
 
Jul 16, 2008
1,520
48
Oregon
For me, pledging to play is for one season, usually spring to late summer. After that, we will discuss the future, possibly some fall tournaments yada yada. That also means girls are free to stay or free to go. As a coach it's always appreciated to get some "heads up" early, if a player is strongly considering to leave. It's just polite.

A little OT, but isn't it also a 2 way street? At what point does a coach tell a player not to try out again?
 
Jul 14, 2010
716
18
NJ/PA
Immediately after the season ends. We had a player leave today, the day after our last game. That's the courteous thing to do, and does not disrupt the season or cause any drama for the rest of the team.
 
Sep 29, 2014
2,421
113
You let the team know once you have secured a spot on the other team.

I would ask her if she does not make the "new" team if she is OK with not playing softball or just picking up for fall ball? I would definitely talk to "new" coach and get a good feeling for her prospects, if he does not already know her he can probably ask around and find out...it's a small world.

especially if you are AC I would probably let the current coach know that your DD want's to play on team X and is going to tryout out, then the ball is in his court if he wants to leave the door open to coming back if things don't work out...assuming everything stays on good terms and this is not a true rival team.
 
Jan 18, 2010
4,284
0
In your face
A little OT, but isn't it also a 2 way street? At what point does a coach tell a player not to try out again?

That's a very good question, heck I'm not sure I have the answer to be honest. Now this is just me, from experience.

Like I said before, you've made a seasonal commitment to play, I've made a seasonal commitment to coach. Nothing short of a "crisis" should change that. Even if Sally comes and says she won't be retuning next season, that should NEVER affect my attitude towards her, that's her choice. And I'd really like to keep that confidential between us.

The next part gets complicated. For one, we never held tryouts. We recruited players during the fall, for next spring's season. So again, we basically had a 6 month ( yearly ) contract, that might be renewed or might not be.

Letting one go. For me, I always felt it was best to voice, after the season was completely done. Basically because I've seen things ( in other teams ) turn so nasty if "word" gets out, not only to/from the player and her parents, but team chemistry seems to go in the toilet if one or two might get the boot. Within a few days after the end of the season, I always told the player to her face, and always offered ( if she wanted ) to help her find a new home.

So why would it be polite to let the coach know early, and not polite to let the player know early? Man that's a tough one. And I can really only fall back on myself and our personal setup, play for me a season, we will let you know very shortly after if we will be "asking you back".

Perhaps I was selfish in my first post, wanting the player to be polite and tell us early. But I know we would, and have, treated them no different after that conversation. I couldn't risk, or take the chance of the other 11-12 players to suffer "drama", because Sally or her parents might act a fool, if they were told ( during the season ) they were not going to be with us next year.
 
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