proceed with caution rant ahead.

JJsqueeze said:

You sound like a pretty level headed guy. Maybe even....NICE. Is there a chance that you are not being firm enough with the parents?

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Are there NICE coaches? They aren't allowed in this area apparently LOL!

What age group are you coaching and is it rec. or TB?

Out in Left Field said:

Coaches ask the parents to prepare their daughters better at home. So this is what you get. Everyone is an expert due to the internet. And girls are overprotected by their parents. I think rules need to be set up front before it gets like that. And coaches need to interview parents at tryouts and set expectations. Parents need to let the coach coach. IF they don't trust the coach, don't go on that team or volunteer as a coach. Easy to be an armchair coach.

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So what are you to do once your dd trys out and makes the team? Then you take her to practice and the coach tries to change her batting. He tells her, " to swing down at the ball, hit the ball out front, swing level, your dropping your shoulder". He tells her, when she is piching, "you need to slam your hip shut, finish with your hand facing your pitching shoulder, push the ball thru the circle". As a parent, when you come to the point that, you have forgot more about the game than the coach knows about the game. It makes it hard to not coach your dd. By the way the internet can be helpful. I will admitt, that the parent needs to do their homework before trying out for a team, so once you realize this coach doesn't know anything. You have to blame yourself. But that doesn't mean you let the coach ruin your dd as a player and if I have to tell the coach he doesn't know crap. Yes, I will.

nanotech14 said:

So what are you to do once your dd trys out and makes the team? Then you take her to practice and the coach tries to change her batting. He tells her, " to swing down at the ball, hit the ball out front, swing level, your dropping your shoulder". He tells her, when she is piching, "you need to slam your hip shut, finish with your hand facing your pitching shoulder, push the ball thru the circle". As a parent, when you come to the point that, you have forgot more about the game than the coach knows about the game. It makes it hard to not coach your dd. By the way the internet can be helpful. I will admitt, that the parent needs to do their homework before trying out for a team, so once you realize this coach doesn't know anything. You have to blame yourself. But that doesn't mean you let the coach ruin your dd as a player and if I have to tell the coach he doesn't know crap. Yes, I will.

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I think there is more than one answer to this. If the kid is just starting and parents' knowledge is limited, you may have to trust the coach. If the kid is experienced and playing tb then there may be legit gripes. Many girls that are playing on a tb team will be going to some type of lesson from an "experienced" teacher. Those lessons may very well be what put them in the position to be recruited by or make a tb team. So as a parent why would I want what got her there to be changed? If it is an organization that has their own hitting, pitching, conditioning coaches they may tell you up front what will be expected and what they teach. Players and parents can follow suit or hit the road. Asking questions up front helps. Parents that won't shut up, well that will never end. Make team rules that regard coaching from the stands, etc... If they don't follow them, enforce the consequences whatever they may be! Many a good player and teams have fallen to bad parents!!!

DD told me she pulled the but “my dad told me” card out the other day at practice and the coach left her alone. Good for the coach and they know where I am too if they have an issue/ concern.

James Smith said:

DD told me she pulled the but “my dad told me” card out the other day at practice and the coach left her alone. Good for the coach and they know where I am too if they have an issue/ concern.

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Unless he took that as uncoachable and didnt bother.

Agreed, she is very coachable and they have helped DD a lot and listens to them.

James Smith said:

Agreed, she is very coachable and they have helped DD a lot and listens to them.

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Then there is a level of trust between the player, coach, and parent which was created thru open communication and expectations.

Well Done

James Smith said:

You can tell which parents have a child going thru baseball or softball for the first time, unfortunately you need to teach the parents too. Either in a meeting or in writing you need to explain to them how you want them to behave and how to communicate with you.

Not coaching from the stands or bothering you(or their child) during a game/ practice is high on the list.

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I agree. After 3 years of being a tb parent and a lot of time spent reading this site, I'm a much better softball Mom than I used to be (though I don't think I was ever among the truly terrible, just a little too intense at times). It's not only the girls who have a lot to learn about softball!

If I was a coach, I'd definitely hand out a document listing the acceptable behavior for the parents and the girls and require that everyone read and sign it before the start of the season.

As a parent I don't have to say a word. In the field my DD will listen to you all day. Try to tell her about her swing and she will say yes sir and keep doing what her hitting coach has taught her.