fear of failure

This makes a lot more sense. She's a brat, not a shy kid who lacks confidence. Had a kid like that on my team last year. She would get a hit then ask if she did good. She would make good contact then cry if she was thrown out. She is actually where the "don't you dare cry in this dugout" came from, I had to say that to her almost every game. Decent player but an emotional drag trying to keep her propped up. I tell my DD that if she is going to pitch then her reaction and emotional control is as important as her pitching as the entire team will feed off of that energy. I also watched a LL game on tv the other day and the pitcher was great but he was a total punk. Jumped up and down and slapped his hat to his thigh when the catcher passed a ball. Team got pounded and I don't think it was talent that did them in, I think their lost the mental and emotional game- that is how important the emotional control of the pitcher is.

Yes drama queens need to be shown the stage right exit. I had a similiar player. She was awesome, the best SS I could have asked for. She also pitched. She had 7 pitches but only had command of 3 of them at any one time. She also got an attitude when the blue tightened up on her. Which ironically, didn't help the blue loosen up on her, LOL! She got it from her parents. They had horrible attitudes and put extreme pressure on her. After one season they weren't invited back.
I would rather build the confidence of the shy one than stroke the ego of the "best" one.

Sounds like several of you "coaches" need to read the books!

Shes a GIRL and GIRLS need emotional security and reassurance. Playing softball is 90% mental and 10% ability.

If the kid is really a brat then move on but if she is not mentally prepared it is your job as a coach to help the kid!

And PS...they are all drama queens and pitchers are princesses

My feedback is based on observing a girl in comparison to other girls on a team. I think it really limits these young athletes to explain everything away in terms of gender. You can explain a little but it doesn't mean they have a free pass to neglect keeping their composure. I have two DDs and I love and respect their individualism as girls. I don't expect them to be boys but under no circumstances are they allowed to be sissys.

softballmom77 said:

Sounds like several of you "coaches" need to read the books!

Shes a GIRL and GIRLS need emotional security and reassurance. Playing softball is 90% mental and 10% ability.

If the kid is really a brat then move on but if she is not mentally prepared it is your job as a coach to help the kid!

And PS...they are all drama queens and pitchers are princesses

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Right on!

I'm not in the dugout with this particular girl. Maybe she's one who crosses the line, poisons the rest of the team and needs to go. Granted, there are some of those.

However, the job of a coach is to get the best out of a player and teach them to be successful. If she is hitting .100, you help her. If she's bratty, you help her. What's the difference? They're kids. They've all got weaknesses. Coach them.

softballmom77 said:

Shes a GIRL and GIRLS need emotional security and reassurance.

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Ya I learned this good after almost 2 years of coaching 10U like a football coach..... That's why I responded with my first answer.

But then after reading more detail I think we coaches know when that "line" has been crossed from a worthy investment to a royal pain in the backside. Coaches can NOT spend 90% of their time coddling 10% of the team. Especialy given our coaching salaries.

softballmom77 said:

Playing softball is 90% mental and 10% ability.

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Ya NO,.... maybe for rec league and middle and high school....

You get into the travel then national travel scene and you do not find small ability players....

CoogansBluff said:

If she's bratty, you help her. What's the difference? They're kids. They've all got weaknesses. Coach them.

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I have found that bratty kids are the ones that need the tough love-the last thing they need is more coddling, and besides, what can you do in a couple of hours a week that bad parenting cant undo the rest of the time?

That said I do agree with the general drift of tailoring your coaching to specific kids needs. The shy one gets encouragement, the bratty one gets a kick in the pants (figuratively) etc. And that coaches are role models and have a responsibility to TRY to help every girl improve.

OK...how about teaching a simple life lesson? If she were working, and she did this, what would happen? She wouldn't get fired, but someone else would get all the tough assignments.

It is a simple world: Softball is a game that we play/coach to have fun. There is no requirement that a kid play softball to have a rich, fulfilling life. If a kid doesn't want to play, then don't play her.

The consequences of not wanting to pitch in the big game is that you need to give the other pitcher more PT. So, do it. Give the other kid pitching time so that she can develop. When her parents and her come around asking why, tell them, "Hey, I got to have someone to pitch during the big games. Your DD doesn't want to, so I've got to find someone who will."

softballmom: You said, "Playing softball is 90% mental and 10% ability." Not really...that is something you picked up from watching ESPN and too many sport movies. Playing a sport successfully is 90% ability and 10% mental.

sluggers said:

Playing a sport successfully is 90% ability and 10% mental.

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42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

CoogansBluff said:

They're kids. They've all got weaknesses. Coach them.

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Spoken like a true outside the fence parent..its easy to say "do you job and coach them" when your not in my shoes. Your not the one who has spent 6-8 hours a week with her since January practicing. Your not the one trying to get an entire team on the same page. You haven't heard the constant spew of negativity out of her mouth about how bad she sucks etc. etc. etc. Ive been there for her all the way, coaching my rear off to improve her, and get her playing at the level we're at, and just when I need her the most to get out there and pitch, she quit on me and the team for selfish reasons of "I don't wanna be the one" well guess what princess? You are the reason were loosing now.
So, if your a parent who's only job is to get Suzie to practice and pay for her uniform, I'd suggest you walk a mile in our shoes as coaches and see if your tune changes.
We cant focus our whole day, practice, or tournament focused on keeping one kid emotionally up! At some point the high maintenance player will either suck it up for whats best for the team or she will not be on a team.