Denial of team tryout

Welcome to Discuss Fastpitch

Your FREE Account is waiting to the Best Softball Community on the Web.

Mar 7, 2019
3
0
Last week my daughters basketball team was eliminated from the state playoffs, becoming the last basketball game of her high school career. I note this game because up to this point, she had decided not to play softball her senior season. However, a discussion with friends on the bus ride home changed her mind about trying out. Prior to this, she didn’t attend the coaches voluntary interest meeting and had told friends that she probably wasn’t playing, but never had any conversations with the head coach; even thouse she has her for math this semester. The next day rolls around and she goes to the tryout, only to be met by the coach who ask for a moment in private. The coach explains that she wasn’t aware she was coming out and had “made all of her plans on keeping the 18 that were committed from day 1” and dismissed her before the practice even started. As soon as I heard this, I messaged the athletic director, spoke with her later on the phone and informed her that I would be at the school at 0800 the next morning to discuss with her and the principal. Both of them expressed confusion over why it had happened and apologized for the fact that it did happen. They assured me they would look into it. After a couple meeting with the head coach, meeting with my daughter and a few phone calls to me, I’m told that it would be in my daughters “best interest to run track and just be happy”. The principal explains that the coach says that my daughter was such a problem last year that she feels it’s in her team and her personal best interest as well for my daughter not to be on the team. The problems last year, other than a personality conflict with the coach, was an one-headed for my daughter to text her coach 15 minutes before practice (teacher work day) telling her she was going shopping for a prom dress. For this she was suspended for two games. The second issue was after the season, the coach told the team to report to the field for a “clean-up” day, but my daughter chose not to go. Once I learned of this, I messaged the coach apologizing, made my daughter go by her class to do the same, and asked for some week long choirs the following week, even if it was scrubbing the bleachers with a toothbrush. The coach declined, saying “thanks but everything is done”. The principal stated that he could “try to get her a tryout” but he could make no promises on not being cut or any playing time if she was kept on the team. To pause for ansecond, the issue here is talent related. My daughter started all games (except the suspension) at Cather and led the team in batting average, which was also tops in the conference. I asked the principal at why point would an administrator step in when obvious unfairness was taking place. He replied that that wasn’t a role of an administrator to “manage the team”. I expressed concern over the precedent he was setting, as it seems that the player is being held to a higher standard and certainly held more accountable for her actions than the adult. He disagreed and we ended the call.

I currently am planning on going by the county administration office and hopefully speaking with the County AD and Superintendent (left a message yesterday).

This is my first time ever complaining about a coach and this is the first coach my daughter hasn’t had a great relationship with. I’ve even spoken to her two most recent coaches asking if there was anything I wasn’t aware of in practice; disrespect, laziness, anything. Both assured me that they had never had any issues with her.

My post here is to solicit opinions of others, hear experiences and hopefully how they found resolution. How far do I pursue it? My daughter is adamant that she will not play for this particular coach knowing how the coach feels about her, which I understand. Yet I must admit, that I kinda wish she would go back out there and standup for herself (normally that isn’t an issue).

Any help is greatly appreciated! You may also email me at carolinastorm@icloud.com

Thanks!

Jimmy
 

marriard

Not lost - just no idea where I am
Oct 2, 2011
4,312
113
Florida
My suggestions? You delete this post or at minimum you remove all the identifying information.

And you REALLY don't want to hear my opinion.
 
Feb 12, 2014
648
43
Okay, I'll bite. I think the coach did your daughter a tremendous favor. The other alternative would have been to let her try out for a week and then cut her which would have eliminated her chance to run track for the season. Your daughter for all but a single day since the end of last softball season didn't want to play softball this year and says now that she won't play regardless of your actions, so why would you continue to complain?
 
Nov 29, 2009
2,975
83
The problem here is not the with the coach or the AD. You must have a defective mirror at home. It is not showing you are THAT parent.
 
Last edited:

Cannonball

Ex "Expert"
Feb 25, 2009
4,854
113
I am going to take a different angle than some of the other responses. Why have tryouts if you already have your team picked? That kind of stuff hacks me off. Most of you know that I most often take the role on this site of defending HS coaches. In every program I have run, I have told those who earned letters that those letters are for the concluded season and that "next year" they are not guaranteed anything. The tryouts, including this year, are truly tryouts. Also, any off season program workouts, in most states, have to be voluntary. I've posted on this site a dozen times that we have "open gym" or "open cage" and one of the things I make clear to everyone attending is that their participation will not guaranteed them a spot on the team. Also, it won't mean that those who don't attend will be cut. To do otherwise in my state is a violation and grounds for a team being banned in the post season.

I understand the points about attitude mentioned above and that your dd did bring some of this on herself. However, if she is the best player I will give her that second chance to see if she is capable of making changes. From there, if she didn't, she would be miserable. Still, in a public school system and I assume you are talking about a public school system, imo, she is entitled to tryout. BTW, I speak from experience here and have given more than one or two players a second chance. More times than not, that player has stepped up. JMHO!
 
Mar 13, 2010
1,758
48
Regarding the point of ‘why pick a team before tryouts’ from reading the post the coach had 18 players and is taking all of them.

He doesn’t want OPs daughter because of her attitude.

OP I’ll be blunt. Your daughter was the starting catcher and had the best batting average in the team. For the coach to not want her back, her attitude was AWFUL. Simply awful. And from your (understandably) biased post, she comes across as awful with this coach.

She skipped practice to go shopping. She didn’t turn up for a team session. I’m sure there was more you’re not aware of.

Let this be a life lesson for your daughter. Because from what you’re describing I wouldn’t want her on my team either. How she reacts to this can shape the rest of her life. Do you want your daughter to suffer no consequences for her behaviour? Or to learn and grow from it?
 
Jun 12, 2015
3,848
83
I am going to take a different angle than some of the other responses. Why have tryouts if you already have your team picked? That kind of stuff hacks me off. Most of you know that I most often take the role on this site of defending HS coaches. In every program I have run, I have told those who earned letters that those letters are for the concluded season and that "next year" they are not guaranteed anything. The tryouts, including this year, are truly tryouts. Also, any off season program workouts, in most states, have to be voluntary. I've posted on this site a dozen times that we have "open gym" or "open cage" and one of the things I make clear to everyone attending is that their participation will not guaranteed them a spot on the team. Also, it won't mean that those who don't attend will be cut. To do otherwise in my state is a violation and grounds for a team being banned in the post season.

I understand the points about attitude mentioned above and that your dd did bring some of this on herself. However, if she is the best player I will give her that second chance to see if she is capable of making changes. From there, if she didn't, she would be miserable. Still, in a public school system and I assume you are talking about a public school system, imo, she is entitled to tryout. BTW, I speak from experience here and have given more than one or two players a second chance. More times than not, that player has stepped up. JMHO!

My guess is that coach does not want this specific player and that was the line he took rather than a more personal confrontation. I'd want to avoid that with the OP too I think.

I read this post (OP) when I got up for work at 5 and I couldn't wait to see the replies. lol
 
Nov 16, 2015
184
18
I understand the points about attitude mentioned above and that your dd did bring some of this on herself. However, if she is the best player I will give her that second chance to see if she is capable of making changes. From there, if she didn't, she would be miserable. Still, in a public school system and I assume you are talking about a public school system, imo, she is entitled to tryout. BTW, I speak from experience here and have given more than one or two players a second chance. More times than not, that player has stepped up. JMHO!

Only the best player gets a second chance?
 
Jul 14, 2018
982
93
OP I’ll be blunt. Your daughter was the starting catcher and had the best batting average in the team. For the coach to not want her back, her attitude was AWFUL. Simply awful.

^^^ This. Sometimes as a parent, it's so hard to see the forest for the trees. If your daughter was so clearly a cut above her teammates, and she thought that afforded her special privileges, then she needs a cold dose of reality. It's an especially valuable lesson in the spring of her senior year, when she's probably about to go off to college and won't be the BMOC (BWOC?).
 

Forum statistics

Threads
42,830
Messages
679,472
Members
21,443
Latest member
sstop28
Top