Kinda traumatized by travel ball drama

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Feb 15, 2016
273
18
Na.. great teams. Good parents.
The OP asked about drama and I don't care how great a team and the families are there's always drama.
My list prevents drama :)
I guess were different but dont need friends.
Didn't start this journey to meet friends ;)

The key to drama is don't get involved in the drama part. 90% of the parents and kiddos are just fine. Avoid the drama kings and queens and you will be fine.
 
Apr 16, 2010
924
43
Alabama
I think it gets better as they get older maybe. I've wandered through some tournaments for 16U and 18U girls and there are like 3 parents watching and they're barely paying attention. We're so invested when they're young. DH has been coaching a couple of years now and the drama, so far, is 99% adults and 1% kids. It's depressing.

You nailed it! When DD was younger there was always some kind of drama. It may not be within the team but it would be between the parents of two teams. As she got older it has steadily decreased. The only issue I see now from time to time is jealousy due to the abilities of a player or the attention she is getting from coaches.
 

J.Galt

Banned
Feb 8, 2019
135
28
Travel ball is about finding the right fit, if your DD is crying and isn't injured, then the team she is with isn't the right fit. With my DD we have the super elite local travel organization that everyone wants to play for. Last year we took her from a lower performing team to this super team and she was never herself. Never the goofball, never talkative, never the leader she was with the old team. After PGF we decided it was time to take her to look elsewhere. The team she is with now isn't as good as the team she was on last year but she's her again.
The hard part for me is that I am still friends with a lot of parents from the old team and even the head coach calls or texts me every week or so. They tell me then door is open to bring her back, maybe someday she will be ready for that, but softball is about her and she is happy, and comfortable, where she's at now.
 
Jun 12, 2015
3,848
83
Travel ball is about finding the right fit, if your DD is crying and isn't injured, then the team she is with isn't the right fit. With my DD we have the super elite local travel organization that everyone wants to play for. Last year we took her from a lower performing team to this super team and she was never herself. Never the goofball, never talkative, never the leader she was with the old team. After PGF we decided it was time to take her to look elsewhere. The team she is with now isn't as good as the team she was on last year but she's her again.
The hard part for me is that I am still friends with a lot of parents from the old team and even the head coach calls or texts me every week or so. They tell me then door is open to bring her back, maybe someday she will be ready for that, but softball is about her and she is happy, and comfortable, where she's at now.

I think my DD would be unhappy on one of the big name teams. She doesn't want to play in college (right now she doesn't want to GO to college - she's 12 so who knows what she'll end up doing down the road). She wants to play hard with other players who give it their all on the field, but who aren't obsessive about it all the time when they're off the field. It seems like spending all the time and money on travel and all the other requirements, all for a kid who doesn't even want to play in college, would be silly and pointless. The happiest she's ever been on a team was 2nd year 10U, when we quit A ball and played mostly higher level B for the year w/ her old rec coach.
 
Jan 5, 2018
385
63
PNW
I think my DD would be unhappy on one of the big name teams. She doesn't want to play in college (right now she doesn't want to GO to college - she's 12 so who knows what she'll end up doing down the road). She wants to play hard with other players who give it their all on the field, but who aren't obsessive about it all the time when they're off the field. It seems like spending all the time and money on travel and all the other requirements, all for a kid who doesn't even want to play in college, would be silly and pointless. The happiest she's ever been on a team was 2nd year 10U, when we quit A ball and played mostly higher level B for the year w/ her old rec coach.

That's awesome. It is about the right fit. Not everything is about Elite, super elite, Super Gold, platinum. Not knocking those big name teams...and my DD wants to play at the highest level she can. BUT that's not every kid. Some are happy playing with good friends/teammates and having a great HS experience. No shame in that at all. And in our area...we see lots of teams call themselves A when they are really B...in an attempt to attract higher talent and then regularly get beat by B teams.
 
Jan 5, 2018
385
63
PNW
Travel ball is about finding the right fit, if your DD is crying and isn't injured, then the team she is with isn't the right fit. With my DD we have the super elite local travel organization that everyone wants to play for. Last year we took her from a lower performing team to this super team and she was never herself. Never the goofball, never talkative, never the leader she was with the old team. After PGF we decided it was time to take her to look elsewhere. The team she is with now isn't as good as the team she was on last year but she's her again.
The hard part for me is that I am still friends with a lot of parents from the old team and even the head coach calls or texts me every week or so. They tell me then door is open to bring her back, maybe someday she will be ready for that, but softball is about her and she is happy, and comfortable, where she's at now.

Great comments. We had a young lady join us this fall from a "super team". She's a great player...but we also had great players on our team. Mom and Dad are thrilled with joining our team....they said their daughters love for the game has returned and she's been having more fun than they can recall. It is about the fit. She's a great fit with us as a coaching staff and a great fit with the other teammates. All in all that has made all of us stronger and better.

Remember it's the kids journey not the parents. Enjoy the ride. It ends all to quickly.
 
May 2, 2019
13
3
Without reading the entire thread my two cents...

There is drama in all sports, at all levels.

If your child is in a toxic situation REMOVE THEM IMMEDIATELY. Their mental health is a priority over any 'team'.

My personal experience with TB has been great. My DD is a top level recruit and TB offers us exactly what we're looking for regarding her SB future.

I run a rec commission (not just softball) and trust me it has drama. There is good and bad all over.

I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for be it with TB, HS, or rec ball.
 

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