How much bench time should I expect?

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Oct 29, 2018
10
1
My daughter is a top player on her team. She is a bracket pitcher/Utility player, top of the order, hard worker. She is probably one the best on the field at any position. First to get to practice. Last to leave. She has a great attitude listens to the coach and asks me to work on the things the coach mentioned every day.

We love our team and get along great with everyone. I know the coach needs to develop the other players for everyone's benefit.

My daughter rides bench about 25% of our pool game innings. She never sits in bracket play.

Should I just keep my mouth shut and realize that this is for the benefit of the team as a whole? Is this pretty standard?

I respect the decision. It just burns a bit. The players that need help developing are getting more innings in pool games than my DD.

My DD and I put in hours and hours of pitching lessons/batting cages/field work and it's paying off. However, the coach puts in more softball hours than I do and his kid sits too.

Am I a jerk for even thinking about it?
 
Oct 11, 2010
8,337
113
Chicago, IL
Jerk is a little harsh. :)

She is playing when it matters. It is in yours and her best interest to have the other players play better.

You also mentioned coach sits their kid too.
 
Jul 14, 2018
982
93
You could have been describing my DD in your message. She's been on teams where she played every inning of every game, and teams where she sat in the dugout for two days. Her current coach has struck what I consider a good balance for a player who is at the top skill-wise.

She currently plays about 75% of the time, which translates to two of the three pool games, and sits most of the third. She usually gets one AB in that third game, which is fine. She generally plays all of the bracket games, although this past weekend we ran into a buzz saw of a pitcher and DD got pinch-hit for at the end just because she was leading off an inning and the game was lost anyway, so the coach put in some weaker players to get a look at a top pitcher.

You didn't mention the age level, but the lower the number (8, 10, 12) the more bench time you should expect. Be wary of the 10U coach who only plays their best nine. As I said, DD has been that player who feels left out and doesn't want to see any of her teammates go through the same thing, even the girls who are just developing their skills.
 
May 6, 2015
2,397
113
what age group, makes a difference. if lower age groups, sounds about right, no matter how much work players put in, they need game experience as well to develop.
 
Apr 16, 2013
1,113
83
Sounds perfect to me. He's saving her and her energy/arm for the games that really matter. Our coach does the same and I have no issues with it. Plus, most of the time, any catcher he's going to use (we have 3, my DD included) sits an inning before and after they catch, in order to rest. We had a visitor but definitely a recruit, very good pitcher, that played with us in our last tournament. She didn't pitch a single inning during pool play. Didn't pitch our first bracket game as coach was confident we didn't need her. Some would think recruiting a top pitcher, you would give her more innings. To me, it says you're showing her we're using you when it's time to get competitive and trust in your ability. Kept her arm fresh.
 
Oct 29, 2018
10
1
You didn't mention the age level, but the lower the number (8, 10, 12) the more bench time you should expect. Be wary of the 10U coach who only plays their best nine. As I said, DD has been that player who feels left out and doesn't want to see any of her teammates go through the same thing, even the girls who are just developing their skills.


12U

Also, she is still batting #1 or #2 during those pool games where she is sitting during defense.

I guess this is pretty standard and is best for the team.

Still feels like DD is getting punished for putting in extra work. She doesn't need the extra development because she does it in her free time.
 
May 17, 2012
2,804
113
She is a bracket pitcher

My daughter rides bench about 25% of our pool game innings. She never sits in bracket play.

Sounds like she is playing too much but you didn't say what level the team is. If it's at the "A" level there are probably 11 other parents complaining that your DD plays too much.

As bracket pitchers get older they won't even play much at all in pool or bracket games when they aren't pitching. :)
 
May 24, 2013
12,461
113
So Cal
My daughter is a top player on her team. She is a bracket pitcher/Utility player, top of the order, hard worker. She is probably one the best on the field at any position. First to get to practice. Last to leave. She has a great attitude listens to the coach and asks me to work on the things the coach mentioned every day.

We love our team and get along great with everyone. I know the coach needs to develop the other players for everyone's benefit.

My daughter rides bench about 25% of our pool game innings. She never sits in bracket play.

Should I just keep my mouth shut and realize that this is for the benefit of the team as a whole? Is this pretty standard?

I respect the decision. It just burns a bit. The players that need help developing are getting more innings in pool games than my DD.

My DD and I put in hours and hours of pitching lessons/batting cages/field work and it's paying off. However, the coach puts in more softball hours than I do and his kid sits too.

Am I a jerk for even thinking about it?

I'm going to be blunt...Yes, you're being a jerk. Getting your feathers ruffled because she isn't playing every inning of EVERY game tells me you are only seeing your kid, and likely have very little awareness of the bigger picture of the team as a whole.

If she's being used for every inning of every bracket play game, batting at the top of the order, this indicates that she's a highly-valued player on the team. Keeping her a little fresher for when it matters most is smart coaching, IMO (usually). Developing ALL the players on the team contributes to the success of the team as a whole. Playing with better players around her, contributes to the success of your DD. Your DD spending a few innings on the bench is a contribution to help her teammates get better. It's also a good time to work on her skills of cheering on her teammates.
 
Last edited:
May 24, 2013
12,461
113
So Cal
12U

Also, she is still batting #1 or #2 during those pool games where she is sitting during defense.

I guess this is pretty standard and is best for the team.

Still feels like DD is getting punished for putting in extra work. She doesn't need the extra development because she does it in her free time.

Wow...She's playing every single game, just not on defense for a few innings in less-important games, and you're upset?? :facepalm: Chill dude. Seriously. I hope your DD has a better attitude about this than you do.
 
Dec 2, 2013
3,410
113
Texas
"Still feels like DD is getting punished for putting in extra work. She doesn't need the extra development because she does it in her free time."

So you think the coaches are having this conversation.

Head coach: Hmmm...Little Susie has been working hard during her free time. I think we should bench her for a little bit during pool games.
Asst Coach: Yeah. That'll teach her a lesson. While we are at it we should make her play every inning of the bracket games and bench the kids that play more time in pool games.
Head Coach: Brilliant idea!

Dude! This is the way it should work. Get kids in the pool games that need development so those parents don't start looking for another team.

For some reason, I think we are being Punked by the poster.
 

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