How much bench time should I expect?

grcsftbll · Oct 31, 2018

DO NOT skip her team's practices to go play with another team. You can pretty much count on that not having a positive impact on her playing time. You need a chill pill, IMO, and to teach her what it means to be part of a team. Maybe you need to learn that first, then you can pass the knowledge along. That's not unusual in 10U so don't take it personally. Most 10U and a healthy number of 12U parents seem to have no sense.

Orange Socks · Oct 31, 2018

MNDad said:
Rant over. Please tell me I just got “punked.”

I really feel that we are getting trolled! This cannot be real.

Sparky Guy · Oct 31, 2018

iSitOnBuckets said:
Doh, by "talk to the coach" I was thinking of asking him if he wouldn't mind if we missed a few practices to pick up with other teams and try and get more innings.

I'm not sure why wanting more softball innings is ruffling so many feathers. So far we have been rejecting pickup offers in favor of attending practice because I was worried it would affect her playing time. Our current team doesn't play as often as we would like.

Your DD needs to practice with her teammates. They need to learn how to pick up their game play level to match your DD's. The best place to do that is at practice. Make sure your DD knows to NEVER lower her game play to match her teammates. Team OFF days are the best time to guest on another team.

I've been involved with high-level travel ball and players for 25 years; I'm talking players who've played in, won and were MVP of the WCWS. I was a parent for 10 years when my DD was playing and coached for 15 years without a DD on the team. Like you, I started out as "That Dad." until my DD made a team with no parent coaching. After watching the coaching there I knew immediately how much I didn't know. So I sat back watched, listened and made mental notes about how the organization did things and reasons behind it. There's not too much I haven't seen or heard. You may not realize it. But, a lot of the things you're saying have been said by you, "That dad.", years before your DD knew what a softball was. Only the names were different. That was told to me by a guy who coached with no daughter on the teams for over 40 years. I use that quote in my signature.

As others have said. It sounds like your DD is on the wrong team, talent-wise. Finish the season and find a team where your DD has to legitimately compete for playing time. That way her "HATE" of sitting the bench will motivate her even more to be able to get on the field. If she plays all the way through college she WILL have to compete for playing time. Heck, players on the Pro, National and Olympic teams sit the bench.

The first step in conditioning your view of your DD's softball career is to remove the words I, us, we and me from your vocabulary when it comes to your DD's softball. Replace them with "my daughter" or her name and you'll find you'll put things in a better perspective. Your role is to support her journey as a huge, not overwhelming, background entity and not take journey for her pulling her along holding her hand. Let her find her own way through the softball maze. Watch over her from the background. She'll come out the end a better person and player for it.

Sparky Guy · Oct 31, 2018

grcsftbll said:
Most 10U and a healthy number of 12U parents seem to have no sense.

Here is my breakdown of parents by softball player age.

1st year 10U. I'm feeling overwhelmed and confused. The players are so good. The coach knows everything.
2nd year 10U This isn't that hard. I'm getting a pretty good handle on it. My DD can compete with the other girls. The coach is good.

1st year 12U. My DD needs more playing time. Why did the coach do that?
2nd year 12U. My DD needs more playing time. Why is the coach such an idiot? He has no idea what he's doing.

1st year 14U. My DD needs college exposure. My DD told me to stop yelling at her when she's on the field. Wondering about the coach.
2nd year 14U. My DD is thinking about quitting softball. She threatened me with it after I yelled at her on the field. Why isn't the coach playing her when the college coaches are around. My DD didn't make varsity on her HS team. The HS coach is an idiot.

1st year 16U My DD needs to get committed NOW!!!!! I learned to sit down and just watch the game. I hope the coach has good college contacts. The HS coach has no clue.
2nd year 16U OMG!!! My DD is not committed yet. Her teammates are. What are we going to do? Why isn't the coach using his college contacts. The HS coach is beyond bad. My DD can finally drive herself to practice.

1st year 18U. My DD is committed. Why is the team traveling all over? The HS coach is soooooo bad.
2nd year 18U. OMG!!! My DD's college coach showed to watch her play. I hope she doesn't screw up. The HS coach is a moron.

College freshman. Wow!!! Those girls so big, so fast and so good. My DD can compete with them. The coach knows everything. I have to wait for my DD to tell us where to be.

bmakj · Oct 31, 2018

also remember, when the coach assembled his team, players make a commitment to the team, and coach makes a commitment to the players, and at 12u, that commitment is to help them develop. they need to play to develop. ALL of them, 10-12 as much as #1. sitting 25% of innings in bracket play is just fine. and you can learn also on the bench, talk to the coach during the game (pertinent conversation of course). My DD did just that when she was sitting 50% of the time in bracket play last spring (on a roster with only 10 or 11), and by end of spring getting no time at her primary position.

If the team is not playing enough games for your liking, try to find guest opportunities on off weekends. I think if you communicate to HC, if they are having a weekend practice, they would not mind a great deal if your DD missed that 2 hr practice to go play in 4-6 games over a weekend. just dont do it every weekend her team is not playing.

iSitOnBuckets · Oct 31, 2018

bmakj said:
also remember, when the coach assembled his team, players make a commitment to the team, and coach makes a commitment to the players, and at 12u, that commitment is to help them develop. they need to play to develop. ALL of them, 10-12 as much as #1. sitting 25% of innings in bracket play is just fine. and you can learn also on the bench, talk to the coach during the game (pertinent conversation of course). My DD did just that when she was sitting 50% of the time in bracket play last spring (on a roster with only 10 or 11), and by end of spring getting no time at her primary position.

If the team is not playing enough games for your liking, try to find guest opportunities on off weekends. I think if you communicate to HC, if they are having a weekend practice, they would not mind a great deal if your DD missed that 2 hr practice to go play in 4-6 games over a weekend. just dont do it every weekend her team is not playing.

Thanks for the incite.

iSitOnBuckets · Oct 31, 2018

Sparky Guy said:
Your DD needs to practice with her teammates. They need to learn how to pick up their game play level to match your DD's. The best place to do that is at practice. Make sure your DD knows to NEVER lower her game play to match her teammates. Team OFF days are the best time to guest on another team.

I've been involved with high-level travel ball and players for 25 years; I'm talking players who've played in, won and were MVP of the WCWS. I was a parent for 10 years when my DD was playing and coached for 15 years without a DD on the team. Like you, I started out as "That Dad." until my DD made a team with no parent coaching. After watching the coaching there I knew immediately how much I didn't know. So I sat back watched, listened and made mental notes about how the organization did things and reasons behind it. There's not too much I haven't seen or heard. You may not realize it. But, a lot of the things you're saying have been said by you, "That dad.", years before your DD knew what a softball was. Only the names were different. That was told to me by a guy who coached with no daughter on the teams for over 40 years. I use that quote in my signature.

As others have said. It sounds like your DD is on the wrong team, talent-wise. Finish the season and find a team where your DD has to legitimately compete for playing time. That way her "HATE" of sitting the bench will motivate her even more to be able to get on the field. If she plays all the way through college she WILL have to compete for playing time. Heck, players on the Pro, National and Olympic teams sit the bench.

The first step in conditioning your view of your DD's softball career is to remove the words I, us, we and me from your vocabulary when it comes to your DD's softball. Replace them with "my daughter" or her name and you'll find you'll put things in a better perspective. Your role is to support her journey as a huge, not overwhelming, background entity and not take journey for her pulling her along holding her hand. Let her find her own way through the softball maze. Watch over her from the background. She'll come out the end a better person and player for it.

Thoughtful reply, I appreciate the time you took to respond.

Lobster Birch · Nov 6, 2018

iSitOnBuckets said:
The players that need help developing are getting more innings in pool games than my DD.
Am I a jerk for even thinking about it?

Answered your own question, it seems.

Filterbing · May 15, 2019

I know this is a bit of a dead post but i just stumbled across it looking for the opposite of OP's concern. My DD (12U) rotates every inning at RF during pool play. LF and RF are the only positions that do this. The infield gets shuffled around but no "outfielder" gets infield time. She has been moved up to leadoff hitter and is one of the most athletic girls on the team but is not getting any reps on the infield as originally stated by the coach during our selection to the team. My concern is not about playing time but more on development. I think 12U is too young to lock in a position. I have asked about her getting infield work at practice and it gets shot down. I'm currently considering an offer to leave to another team, any thoughts?

Eric F · May 15, 2019

Filterbing said:
I know this is a bit of a dead post but i just stumbled across it looking for the opposite of OP's concern. My DD (12U) rotates every inning at RF during pool play. LF and RF are the only positions that do this. The infield gets shuffled around but no "outfielder" gets infield time. She has been moved up to leadoff hitter and is one of the most athletic girls on the team but is not getting any reps on the infield as originally stated by the coach during our selection to the team. My concern is not about playing time but more on development. I think 12U is too young to lock in a position. I have asked about her getting infield work at practice and it gets shot down. I'm currently considering an offer to leave to another team, any thoughts?

I assume you're talking about TB, not rec.

If you joined the team with the understanding that your DD would get game time in IF, then this is an issue. If the coach has made it clear that she won't even get an opportunity to prove herself, this is an issue. The next step is to talk to your DD and find out what she wants to do (this is more important than what you want to do). If that means finding another team where she can be a regular IF, so be it.

That said, be realistic about your DD's abilities. Just because a player wants to play an IF position doesn't mean it's a good fit for a team that is playing competitive games.

How much bench time should I expect?

Welcome to Discuss Fastpitch

Your FREE Account is waiting to the Best Softball Community on the Web.

grcsftbll

Orange Socks

Sparky Guy

Sparky Guy

bmakj

iSitOnBuckets

iSitOnBuckets

Lobster Birch

Filterbing

Eric F

Similar threads

Latest posts

Members online

Forum statistics

Share this page

Online statistics

Forum statistics