How much bench time should I expect?

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Jan 5, 2018
385
63
PNW
Teach your DD not to look at the bench as punishment. It's a team and everyone sits sometimes. Our coach teaches them score keeping and how to track pitches while they sit. The girls on the bench get a great education about the game. He'll have them sit with him while calling pitches, talk about why he called something when he did, etc. Their job is to soak it all in, and to cheer on their teammates until it's their turn to go in and someone else gets to sit.

I do this as much as possible with our players....they learn SO much about the game this way. It's created a lot more conversation among the players telling each other what they are seeing, the umpire calling, trends of the pitcher or batters. Increasing softball IQ is under rated.
 
Oct 29, 2018
10
1
Your DD bats every game at #1 or #2... That means she gets more bats than any other player on the team. And she gets to play 100% of the time on bracket day? And if it is only 1 of the pool games she is not playing defensively, that means she isn't out there for what - 4 innings maybe? Out of lets call it 20-25 innings (3 pool games + 2 bracket games, 1:15 time limit, 12U - 4-5 innings per game is probably about average). That is REALLY good. And as the team progresses it is likely there are more bracket games coming - so more innings your DD plays.

So what is your concern exactly? Is it that the coaches never sit anyone else who you consider 'good' on this team? That you are losing pool games? That the bottom of your roster doesn't really deserve to play? Honestly at 12U coaches who are willing to work the pool games with as many players in as many positions as possible is what you should be looking for.


I don't have a concern anymore. Comments on this thread make sense.

My overall concern is developing my kid as a player and making sure it's fun for her. She HATES sitting on the bench. When we decided to switch teams last season(she was playing up on a higher level team) my goal was to find a coach that could teach multiple positions and keep her on the field. Seems like I have succeeded in that as much as I could expect to.

Like I said. I'm just a few seasons into TB. Before TB she played on a good Rec team that played a few tournaments a season and she never sat. Our last TB team the good players never sat so we made a move to a team where we would be one of those good players. I guess that is not the norm.

Our last TB coach loved to say "This isn't rec ball. You earn your playing time". That stuck with her and now all she wants to do is fix the holes in her game and practice.

I'm just going to have to get used to waking up at 4AM and driving 2 hours to watch my kid sit, and I'm going to have a conversation with her about bench time and why she is sitting.

If she starts getting benched more than 1/3rd of the pool games I'll have a friendly chat with the coach(who I have a very high opinion of) and work something out.
 
Feb 17, 2014
551
28
Also, this whole pitcher thing... it depends on the coach and what you are looking for. My DD is a pitcher who pitches about half of her team's innings. She plays 1B about 2/3 of the innings she doesn't pitch. She'll have opportunities to pitch and hit or just hit in college.

I know a Tennessee commit who left the 'best' org in the Midwest because they wouldn't let her play in the field or hit, only pitch.

If your DD wants to do more than pitch when she gets older, then make sure she's good enough to hit and play the field and find a coach that will let her. They are out there.
 
Nov 18, 2013
2,255
113
I don't have a concern anymore. Comments on this thread make sense.

My overall concern is developing my kid as a player and making sure it's fun for her. She HATES sitting on the bench. When we decided to switch teams last season(she was playing up on a higher level team) my goal was to find a coach that could teach multiple positions and keep her on the field. Seems like I have succeeded in that as much as I could expect to.

Like I said. I'm just a few seasons into TB. Before TB she played on a good Rec team that played a few tournaments a season and she never sat. Our last TB team the good players never sat so we made a move to a team where we would be one of those good players. I guess that is not the norm.

Our last TB coach loved to say "This isn't rec ball. You earn your playing time". That stuck with her and now all she wants to do is fix the holes in her game and practice.

I'm just going to have to get used to waking up at 4AM and driving 2 hours to watch my kid sit, and I'm going to have a conversation with her about bench time and why she is sitting.

If she starts getting benched more than 1/3rd of the pool games I'll have a friendly chat with the coach(who I have a very high opinion of) and work something out.

You say you don’t have a concern and the rest of your post restates your original complaint and you’ll talk to the coach if it doesn’t change. Your kid is an ideal situation. A coach that gets it and she’s playing at a level she can be successful. You need a serious reality check. It’s a B/C team. Your kid doesn’t deserve more playing time than any of the other developmental level kids. B/C is about improving EVERYBODY. The coaches at that level who don’t give kids a similar number of innings are morons. If you want a team where the best kids always play, join an A team and watch your kid sit. She’s a spoiled brat if playing 90% of the innings aren’t enough. She doesn’t need a conversation about sitting. You need to take her over your knee.

Rant over. Please tell me I just got “punked.”
 
Nov 29, 2009
2,975
83
I don't have a concern anymore. Comments on this thread make sense.

That statement says you're learning about the game.


If she starts getting benched more than 1/3rd of the pool games I'll have a friendly chat with the coach(who I have a very high opinion of) and work something out.

This statement says you're still "That Dad." at heart.

If you want a real eye opener have your DD make a really high level team where she is competing with/against the best players around. Then you'll really find out what it takes to play on a team like that.
 
Jun 8, 2016
16,118
113
She’s a spoiled brat if playing 90% of the innings aren’t enough. She doesn’t need a conversation about sitting. You need to take her over your knee.

That is a bit harsh IMO. He said she doesn't like to sit..who does? He didn't say she pouts,etc when she does sit. OP just needs to take a breath and realize that his kid not playing the field
for a game or two in pool isn't a) a punishment and b) going to stunt her development. Heck when my DD sits in pool, I get to relax for an hour ;)
 
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Nov 18, 2013
2,255
113
That is a bit harsh IMO. He said she doesn't like to sit..who does? He didn't say she pouts,etc when she does sit. OP just needs to take a breath and realize that his kid not playing the field
for a game or two in pool isn't a) a punishment and b) going to stunt her development. Heck when my DD sits in pool, I get to relax for an hour ;)

Duly noted. Switch that to a conversation about being a good teammate.
 
Oct 29, 2018
10
1
This statement says you're still "That Dad." at heart.

Doh, by "talk to the coach" I was thinking of asking him if he wouldn't mind if we missed a few practices to pick up with other teams and try and get more innings.

I'm not sure why wanting more softball innings is ruffling so many feathers. So far we have been rejecting pickup offers in favor of attending practice because I was worried it would affect her playing time. Our current team doesn't play as often as we would like.

I'm pretty sure I'm not "That Dad". I've never said one thing to any coach about any decision he/she has made playing time or otherwise. I've never done anything but thank them for the time they put into helping my daughter and offered to assist in any way I can. If that is carrying water jugs/setting up tents/running the grill/giving rides to kids who have conflict...

We have played A teams and I know that she wouldn't get much playing time there. That is why we didn't do it.

Also to the guy that said my kid is a spoiled brat who deserves to be spanked... All of her coaches would disagree. She has a great positive attitude. She just wants to play more softball.
 

marriard

Not lost - just no idea where I am
Oct 2, 2011
4,312
113
Florida
If she starts getting benched more than 1/3rd of the pool games I'll have a friendly chat with the coach(who I have a very high opinion of) and work something out.

If she is batting, she is not being benched. She is still playing.

And it is not like you are driving 2 hours to watch her not play and sit on the bench all day. She plays plenty and plays when it 'counts'

But yes, this is part of the game and becomes more and more part of the game as they get older. Sometimes they are going to sit - just like in any team sport.

My DD is in the older age groups (18U/16U-A) and she pitches and hits for a really good team. Her weekend is start at pitcher about half our games, relieve our other pitchers as necessary, hit #3 or #5 in every game and fill in and play every infield position in all pool games. Despite probably being our best fielder, she rarely plays the field on bracket days unless something happens because pitching at that level takes it out of you and they need her to be as fresh as possible every time she takes the rubber. For HS she starts all the important games at pitcher and then plays 3B for other games and bats #3. I do a lot of watching other people's kids play - that is part of being an older pitcher's parent - but it is a team game and I support the team 1000%. And my DD has to keep fielding - she is GOING to field in college when she is not pitching (all the current pitchers n the college team she is going to hit and field).
 
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