In need of some advice

grcsftbll said:

I got my first job at 16 to pay for my car insurance and gas, and to have spending money. I started in retail but soon switched to waiting tables, which I did through most of college (switching to other jobs closer to graduation). Personally I will encourage my kids to work at 16. If they want a car, they'll have to. I don't see teenagers as kids though. I see them as young adults. IMO too many kids are tossed into the deep end of the real world at 18 or, worse yet, still living off mom and dad at 25. So I suppose I agree with your dad. Balancing a social life does not count as work, sorry

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I'm with you. I picked up my first...I guess you'd call it a job when I was 13, babysitting kids in the neighborhood. I've always done odd jobs since like mowing my elderly neighbors grass in the summer, shoveled the snow in winter, housesitting and walking dogs for neighbors while they're on vacation and lifeguarding at the pool since last summer. I'm not the biggest driver in the world. I mean, I like being able to drive to school, work, practice and to hang out with friends. I did use some of my money toward gas (I'm on my parents car insurance policy). I also don't have many expenses outside of softball and cheerleading that my parents pay for. They mainly pay for my health insurance, car insurance (I drive a Jeep Grand Cherokee), some clothes (I pay for the majority on clothes and jewelry) and my braces (I'm told they should be coming off sometime this year maybe, YAY!).

My social life really only consists of going to carnivals/theme parks, hanging out at a local pizza shop/fast food place, hanging out at the mall and either window shop, go to the food court or a movie or hang out at a friend's house..

I do want to work. I love making my own money that I can use on whatever I need. I'm just not sure whether or not I should do it. Or how I'll balance sports, school, work and a social life.

Dabears17 said:

The semesters both myself and my wife did the best in college were the ones we had part-time jobs. Forced us to be more organized and have better time management.

My DD turns 13 soon and I am shortly going to talk to her about taking the youth umpire training and umpire some games next spring, even if it is only a couple. She needs more than just playing sports on her activities for college applications. Her first pitching coach owns a coffee shop a 10-15 minute walk from our house, so when she is old enough I want her to apply for a job there.

My friend was a varsity softball coach for almost 10 years. Some of his better players over the years had part-time jobs, were on student council, and played 3 sports in High School. A few decided to skip softball senior year to concentrate on end of senior year activities. Almost half his seniors softball performance dropped from distractions the last half of the season.

Is there a way to do a few shifts a week between now and the start of school, then just do one or two shifts a week once school starts?

Good luck! Welcome to some of the tough choices almost adult-hood requires.

PS- I consider many of the players I've coached over the years 'almost family', and most of my favorites were/are catchers.

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I agree about working, DaBears. I love working as a lifeguard during my summer breaks. It is fun and you never know what your going to see. I was supposed to work this morning but we got rained out since no one is coming to swim .

I never thought about volunteering to be a youth umpire. Maybe I can do a little of that once I'm done with high school and am in college. I know I could use more for my college resume aside from some sports, some school clubs and some lifeguarding in the summer. Thankfully, the diner that was proposed to me to work at is a 5 minute drive away.

I spoke to some friends about getting together and having some breakfast at the proposed diner and I talked to the owner of the place and she said that if I applied and got the job that I would work about 10-15 hours a week and they would work around my sports schedule. So I guess that 's a positive, lol.

School MUST remain your #1 priority. How you prioritize everything else is up to you. If you can make it all happen without feeling like you are carrying a giant burden, great. If it feels overwhelming, something has to get adjusted.

Sorry to hear about your grandmother.

The rec league my daughter grew up in pays youth umpires $25 for an 80 minute 8u game and $35 for a 90 to 100 minute 10u game. I also know a player who made umpiring while in college her part-time job and umpired tournaments all summer.

softgabby said:

I never thought about volunteering to be a youth umpire. Maybe I can do a little of that once I'm done with high school and am in college. I know I could use more for my college resume aside from some sports, some school clubs and some lifeguarding in the summer. Thankfully, the diner that was proposed to me to work at is a 5 minute drive away.

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I'd give it a try. When I was a Sr. way back when, I had part time jobs, played on the football and baseball teams, and was Student Body President. Don't do too many shifts, though, you are stretched pretty thin already. But, servers gain people skills and those skills will eventually matter for a lot of careers (anything involving dealing with the public, basically). A little experience at this job will help you get something in between years in college, and help you build a resume.

This is what happened with my DD's. They were a year apart in school. My younger daughter was a pitcher and softball was her "job" during school. We did not want her to have any distractions from ball and school. She played for very high level organizations and traveled the country on her own with the team from the time she was 14. In the end she ended up with a scholarship that paid for the bulk of her college. After college she was able to land a job she likes and gets paid well. The not working while playing ball and going to school never affected her.

My older DD quit playing ball during HS. She got a job working for a large drug store chain in their pharmacy. She went to college and changed majors multiple times eventually quitting to work full time for the company in their corporate office. She eventually ended up working for a subsidiary of the company. She works from home and travels all over the country for them semi-regularly. Right now she's making more money than I am. The older DD got a jump on the work world in HS and succeeded.

Both have bought houses and are engaged to be married. There is no one correct path to success. What you need to do is what feels right for you. As you said, the job will cut into school, ball and your precious free time. My thoughts are not to take the job. I believe it will leave you stressed and not be able to focus fully on what is important in your life at this time. You're mature beyond your age and I think you'll be able to make the best decision about the path you wish to take over the next year and beyond.

FYI. You can find a job ANY time you want. There are constantly articles on line about how desperate companies are to hire young people to work as servers and other types of jobs like that. Why do you think Mickey D's and other fastfood places are paying $10 and up for counter workers. Where my wife works they are always looking for someone with a brain. No matter what the age.

Gabby, my daughter was senior and just graduated this spring. I am not sure if softball is a fall or spring sport where you live. It is spring here. We made our daughter have a job her senior year, until softball started. We let her quit once all the games started. They had games scheduled 3-5 nights a week and if they did not have games,, then there was practice. Not really much time to work. I'd say if softball is out of season, you should work. There is still plenty of time for school and social activities.
One other thing I would say is talk to who ever is going to do the hiring/scheduling for part time employees. See how flexible they can be with your schedule. Explain to them how many hours you want to work each week and explain that you have things like practices, lessons to work around. They may or may not be able to work with you. If that place won't there are always other part time jobs. My daughter worked as a waitress at a pizza place. Her manager was flexible with hours. Some may not be.

justanotherguy said:

As others have said, school is #1, period. If your grades suffer by even 1%, then you make more time for school.

That being said, I can offer advice on being a server. Some of it really depends on the restaurant and the prices of their food. "Standard" tip is 15%. If most meals are in the $15+ range, you can make pretty good money for a part time job. I'm also just being honest, but being pretty and having a nice smile will get you better tips. As a male, it didn't matter how great a server I was, the girls made more. Also, you walk away with some cash every night. I don't know how credit card tips are done now, but 20 years ago the mgr still gave you cash for your credit card tips at the end of the night. I worked at the Outback through most of college and would come home with around 50 bucks most nights, busy weekends would get you around 100. That was over 20 years ago. Then you still get paid your hourly wage every week or two weeks. As far as work, it's hard but it's not crazy hard. Really, if you're the type that likes to be busy the time will go by faster on busy nights. Occasionally you'll get pissy customers and bad tippers no matter how good you are, but it's a great life lesson, learning how to deal with angry or just plain snotty people.

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I always thought it would be great for everyone to wait on tables for at least a few months, then maybe so many people wouldn't be jerks to wait staff if they realized what most of them put into the job.

My daughter is 15, entering sophomore year. She is a good kid and gets very good grades. She does not however, now the value of a $!

The deal in our house is, as long as you are working hard in school and balancing time btw travel/school sports, it is not necessary for her to have a job. Stop playing travel? Your butt is going to get a part time job!

I always had a job in HS, but I was not involved in extra curriculars or outside sports.


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Balancing school, work, softball, social life can be a challenge. You said you want to work because you like having your own money to do things. If that’s the case, then take the job. One thing to consider though is whether they will work around your practice schedule and give you weekends off for tournaments. For example, if you have practice on Wednesday evening, can you get that time off? Restaurants often need servers the most on the weekends, so can you get weekends off when you have a tournament?

My 17 y.o. works out every day for softball. We’re lucky enough to have a batting cage of our own with lights, so sometimes her workouts are at 5:30am because it’s the only time that day she can get it done. Sometimes her workouts are at 9:00pm as well. It just depends. The point is that if softball workouts are a priority for you, then you will find time to get a workout in every day even if it’s just 30 minutes of ladders and cones.

Learn to prioritize and arrange your schedule week by week. Get in a workout in the morning if you’ll be at a job in the evening. Then come home and do your homework and go to bed. Work out at night when you don’t have to wait tables, as long as your homework is done first. Use a free Saturday night on a non-tournament weekend for socializing after you get off work.

It can be done. You just have to literally write down every week how you’re going to do it. Above all, if your grades start to suffer, something has to go.


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