Tryout Season (aka Silly Season)

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Jul 2, 2013
381
43
Tryout season has pretty much wrapped up around here as well. DD decided that she wanted to stay on the same team again this year. However we had 2 girls from last years team that were not offered spots to come back, and 2 more girls that decided to move on to other teams. This put us at 6 players before tryouts started. 4 new girls were offered spots from tryouts and accepted. In the last week or so 2 of them backed out for whatever reason leaving us with 8. Grrrr. This time of year most rosters are already set and players committed, so who knows how this is going to end up.

This is almost exactly what happened with DD's team. Ours ended in the team folding. I hope you have better luck.
 
Jul 2, 2013
381
43
OP here. We FINALLY received the offer we wanted today. Today is August 21 and she has been doing tryouts since the beginning of July. I am frankly exhausted and need a long nap. I am sincerely hoping that this is a team we can stay with, as circumstances beyond our control have forced us back onto the tryout circuit now for the third year in a row.

Observations from a tired and cynical mother whose 2004 SUV is probably going to fall apart any minute now to be found below. Forgive the cynicism; that's where I'm at right now.

1. Don't believe a dang word you hear from any coach until you have an offer in hand. NOT ONE WORD! Don't believe veiled statements ("I think we'll be talking again soon, wink-wink, nudge-nudge") or flattery ("your DD is such an awesome hitter/pitcher/SS/whatever and would be a real asset to our team") or any other car salesman BS. DO NOT DOUBT ME ON THIS.

2. See #1.

3. Unless your kid is a super stud who has just moved into town and no one knows her, don't bother with the big organizational tryouts. Half the time, the coaches are too busy shooting the breeze with each other and chatting up the girls who are already on their team (why are they there anyway?) to take any notice of what your DD is doing.

4. When you go to a smaller tryout and the coach says he likes what he saw, but would like to see her at the org tryout as well, cross them off your list. Do not waste your time. He's looking for a unicorn and will string you along and then let you down weeks later and, by then, spots on other teams will be full.

5. When the coach says, "I'll be in touch," don't believe him. He won't. It is rare indeed for a coach to contact people on the promised time table (if a time table is even promised). The majority of them fall into a Coach's Black Hole somewhere and then you are forced to wonder whether no call means you're out of the running, whether maybe he's made an offer to another player in your DD's primary position and is waiting to hear back from her, or maybe he's been eaten by a shark. No telling.

OK, I'm being facetious here, but I will reiterate my assertion that tryouts suck. I recognize they suck for coaches too. Just be persistent and consider options as they come to you, even if they weren't on your initial list.

Here's to a great year for all our DD's!

ETA: I thought of two more:

6. Before you accept an offer, make sure you know who the pitchers are! Not just how many, but who they are. Are they notorious team-hoppers? Are they girls drafted into pitching with little to no pitching experience? We've had one team fall apart because pitchers left mid-season and one where the pitchers were still not ready for prime time, which made for a pretty miserable season.

7. Everyone's favorite: Don't accept an offer where your DD plays the same position as the HC's DD. Just don't.

8. Find out how many girls are currently on the roster before attending a tryout. If the coach already has 13 or 14 and is still looking for 1 girl, that means he is just looking for a unicorn and doesn't really need to add anyone. I wonder how parents of the current team feel about coaches who do things like this.
 
Jul 16, 2008
1,520
48
Oregon
A few tips now that tryouts are over.

You paid but really you're only committed for fall.... Well that may seem harsh but if the fall season doesn't go well and you are seeing red flags that is the time to bail or at least discuss your concerns with the coaches. Being on both sides of the equation I can tell you that most good coaches would rather you bail after fall as opposed to being unhappy all winter and in the spring.

But yet, you would be the first to bash on a coach that cut a player based on her performance during Fall. You are correct about leaving after Fall opposed to bringing negativity throughout the Summer tho.
 

marriard

Not lost - just no idea where I am
Oct 2, 2011
4,312
113
Florida
Got to love it...

One coach yesterday posted a picture of a revolving door and stated 'Tired of teams where this should be their logo???'
They of course are looking to add 'high level athletes and a pitcher' because you know... several girls didn't come back from last season. He also threw shade on another coach the previous week. Nice.

-------------------------------

I really only have one piece of advice for people. If you are 80% certain you are going to leave a team or are 100% going to explore your options you should be setting yourself up to do so weeks before the end of the current season and if you are being smart, you should already have a network of people you have talked to over several seasons you can work with.

You know the local landscape - talk to coaches who you think might be a good match, watch potential teams play, talk to parents on other teams, etc, etc... Your goal should 100% be to have your DD on the next team for the following season before tryouts even begin. That when you are going to a tryout it is not to tryout, but to show others potential teammates that this is who the could be playing with. That might be unrealistic if your team breaks up unexpectedly, or you decide late in the game or whatever but even if you are not moving this season, just being friendly and networking with other teams coaches and parents should give you a network you can work with when the time comes.

As a coach I know every decent local player in the area when we were in the younger ages and now in 16U I know every decent 16U player in the state. I know the reputations of almost every family - especially those we may be interested in if they ever shake free.

I already know whether I would take your DD or not as a player and after about a 20 minute conversation with the parents (which I probably have already had at some point) I can tell you whether I want their family involved in our team. There are very few - if any - unknowns in travel softball. The community is not that big.

I don't need a private tryout or even tryouts to fill our team. Unless someone new moves into town, we know everyone.
 
Dec 2, 2013
3,410
113
Texas
Got to love it...

One coach yesterday posted a picture of a revolving door and stated 'Tired of teams where this should be their logo???'
They of course are looking to add 'high level athletes and a pitcher' because you know... several girls didn't come back from last season. He also threw shade on another coach the previous week. Nice.

-------------------------------

I really only have one piece of advice for people. If you are 80% certain you are going to leave a team or are 100% going to explore your options you should be setting yourself up to do so weeks before the end of the current season and if you are being smart, you should already have a network of people you have talked to over several seasons you can work with.

You know the local landscape - talk to coaches who you think might be a good match, watch potential teams play, talk to parents on other teams, etc, etc... Your goal should 100% be to have your DD on the next team for the following season before tryouts even begin. That when you are going to a tryout it is not to tryout, but to show others potential teammates that this is who the could be playing with. That might be unrealistic if your team breaks up unexpectedly, or you decide late in the game or whatever but even if you are not moving this season, just being friendly and networking with other teams coaches and parents should give you a network you can work with when the time comes.

As a coach I know every decent local player in the area when we were in the younger ages and now in 16U I know every decent 16U player in the state. I know the reputations of almost every family - especially those we may be interested in if they ever shake free.

I already know whether I would take your DD or not as a player and after about a 20 minute conversation with the parents (which I probably have already had at some point) I can tell you whether I want their family involved in our team. There are very few - if any - unknowns in travel softball. The community is not that big.

I don't need a private tryout or even tryouts to fill our team. Unless someone new moves into town, we know everyone.

This is spot on with every point.

Our 18U Gold team lost 6 kids to graduation this year. Our coaches knew this and have been on the look out since the spring for quality players. Whenever you get parents sniffing around during the summer tournaments, that is a sign that they are not with the team that fits them. Our tryouts usually consist of privates, in game scouting, word of mouth and usually don't involve the cattle call 60 person tryouts. We have been able to fill all the spots but can be picky at this point for that "unicorn" player.

If you have an idea that you will be on the search for a new team, tryouts are not the time to get started. I have been trying to share this with a family in the 14U division for months. Their kid is not a top tier player yet they attend the top tier teams' cattle call tryouts. They wonder why they leave without offers. Gotta be a right fit!
 
Jul 16, 2013
4,659
113
Pennsylvania
Got to love it...

One coach yesterday posted a picture of a revolving door and stated 'Tired of teams where this should be their logo???'
They of course are looking to add 'high level athletes and a pitcher' because you know... several girls didn't come back from last season. He also threw shade on another coach the previous week. Nice.

-------------------------------

I really only have one piece of advice for people. If you are 80% certain you are going to leave a team or are 100% going to explore your options you should be setting yourself up to do so weeks before the end of the current season and if you are being smart, you should already have a network of people you have talked to over several seasons you can work with.

You know the local landscape - talk to coaches who you think might be a good match, watch potential teams play, talk to parents on other teams, etc, etc... Your goal should 100% be to have your DD on the next team for the following season before tryouts even begin. That when you are going to a tryout it is not to tryout, but to show others potential teammates that this is who the could be playing with. That might be unrealistic if your team breaks up unexpectedly, or you decide late in the game or whatever but even if you are not moving this season, just being friendly and networking with other teams coaches and parents should give you a network you can work with when the time comes.

As a coach I know every decent local player in the area when we were in the younger ages and now in 16U I know every decent 16U player in the state. I know the reputations of almost every family - especially those we may be interested in if they ever shake free.

I already know whether I would take your DD or not as a player and after about a 20 minute conversation with the parents (which I probably have already had at some point) I can tell you whether I want their family involved in our team. There are very few - if any - unknowns in travel softball. The community is not that big.

I don't need a private tryout or even tryouts to fill our team. Unless someone new moves into town, we know everyone.

I really wish I could hit 'thanks' more than once. Excellent post. And pretty much the model we have followed the last several years. There are very few local players I do not know or have not seen play. There are very few softball families I am not familiar with. The day I realized we never needed another tryout was one of the happiest days of my softball life.
 
May 3, 2018
75
18
Looking for advice at a much younger age level. Decided at the last minute for reasons I won't get into at this point, to let my '09 daughter try out for a 9U travel team. She was offered and we accepted. I have no idea if this team will end up being the only one she will ever be on or if we will be looking around again next year. At this age, far from everyone is known. Any advice on things to look for at the younger age levels?
 
Jun 29, 2013
589
18
Looking for advice at a much younger age level. Decided at the last minute for reasons I won't get into at this point, to let my '09 daughter try out for a 9U travel team. She was offered and we accepted. I have no idea if this team will end up being the only one she will ever be on or if we will be looking around again next year. At this age, far from everyone is known. Any advice on things to look for at the younger age levels?

At that age, it really has to be about player development and opportunity. If you're happy with the playing time, you see tangible evidence that your daughter is improving, and the coaches relate well with your DD, it's a good fit for her. Some of the off the field stuff will affect your opinions and someone is always going to be unhappy with what's going on with the team. Just try to avoid the drama. But never ignore any signs of bullying by other kids on the team or signs that your DD is playing scared. If she is so uncomfortable with the methods, verbiage, etc. to the point where she plays worse, is afraid to try, or is acts like she would rather not be out there, address the issue quickly.
 
Apr 28, 2014
2,316
113
But yet, you would be the first to bash on a coach that cut a player based on her performance during Fall. You are correct about leaving after Fall opposed to bringing negativity throughout the Summer tho.

Must have me mistaken with someone else.
Cuts are nessesary at all levels. It's a 2 way street.
 

marriard

Not lost - just no idea where I am
Oct 2, 2011
4,312
113
Florida
I have no idea if this team will end up being the only one she will ever be on or if we will be looking around again next year.

It almost certainly wont be the only one she is ever on. Happy or not you should always sit down as a family and evaluate the season (so twice a year) and what you are looking for next season. Your DD should have the biggest voice, but you still have to decide as a family. It is a great journey, but everyone's journey is different.

At this age, far from everyone is known. Any advice on things to look for at the younger age levels?

Yes.. at this age it is good coaching, good parents, happy kid and that she is progressing. Your #1 goal should be that she enjoys it so much she wants to come back next season. You should be concerned about WIN AT ALL COST coaches or if everyone plays the same position game after game after game especially in pool play. Be careful not to overplay your kid with too many games or too many sports or too many leagues. These are development ages and players should be given opportunities to do just that.

Practices should be quick moving with little standing around. If you have one kid batting and 9 standing around fielding then the coach is not keeping up with the times. Yelling at 9 year olds for making errors is also not on - they are 9.

Try not to compare your kid to others too much - at this age early physical maturity can win a lot of games without skill - everyone catches up around high school. If you do have an elite 9U player be aware that is probably temporary.

As you get into tournaments you should be looking at how other teams do things and who the good coaches and organizations are. Who is having fun (not who is winning - you can be winning and miserable). Who the idiots are. Who the ones you like are.

And have fun.
 

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