I do exactly as Pattar said. When the attitude shows up I leave her standing there. I will give one chance to get positive. Then go do something else. My dd will beg me to come back. Then we have a totally different practice.
Helping Daughter get out of her own head
- Thread starter Annesdad
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For my kids, I made a distinction between "what she does in public" and "what she does with me".
I never tolerated this stuff from my kids. They got an *** chewing. The last *** chewing I gave was when my youngest DD#3 was playing HS hoops...the other team triple teamed her (they double teamed her and then sent a third player over when she got in the lane), and she quit playing. She stood on the baseline pouting. After the game, I was a long way from "Mr. Understanding Parent." She never did that again.
When you and her are alone, she is going to act like a teenager...which means she is going to push your buttons if you give her a chance. It is what they do. You can't do anything about it.
I've tried everything...and the best approach: Shut up, and don't offer advice. Let her pitch and get the practice in.
Come up with activities that she can do where she can get feedback without *you* evaluating her. E.g. get a speed gun and tell her the speed. Don't offer criticism. Just tell her the speed.
Again...I differentiated with my kids about "what you do in public" and "what you do when it is just your and me".
My DDs would get in the car with me alone and vent about the team...which was OK with me, because she didn't do it in public.
If she had done that in public, it would not have been pretty.
I told my kids, "Your job is to be a leader. If you doesn't want to act like a leader, then you are not going to play."
I never tolerated this stuff from my kids. They got an *** chewing. The last *** chewing I gave was when my youngest DD#3 was playing HS hoops...the other team triple teamed her (they double teamed her and then sent a third player over when she got in the lane), and she quit playing. She stood on the baseline pouting. After the game, I was a long way from "Mr. Understanding Parent." She never did that again.
When you and her are alone, she is going to act like a teenager...which means she is going to push your buttons if you give her a chance. It is what they do. You can't do anything about it.
I've tried everything...and the best approach: Shut up, and don't offer advice. Let her pitch and get the practice in.
Come up with activities that she can do where she can get feedback without *you* evaluating her. E.g. get a speed gun and tell her the speed. Don't offer criticism. Just tell her the speed.
Again...I differentiated with my kids about "what you do in public" and "what you do when it is just your and me".
My DDs would get in the car with me alone and vent about the team...which was OK with me, because she didn't do it in public.
If she had done that in public, it would not have been pretty.
I told my kids, "Your job is to be a leader. If you doesn't want to act like a leader, then you are not going to play."
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