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Thread: Having the worst HS season!

  1. #1
    I can talk softball all day MoparFin's Avatar
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    Default Having the worst HS season!

    We have had problems in the past with the head coach of the HS team. This season so far, my DD1 unfortunately got a concussion at an open gym during the off season that was not handled properly. Now, my DD1 who stepped up to be the catcher for the team is being blamed for a 5 run loss. She had one play that allowed a run to score on a passed ball and one play where she had a runner on third that broke for home on a sac bunt as soon as the ball was pitched. She threw to 1st, but didnt give herself enough of a throwing lane and hit the runner in the back of the head. The first baseman was standing on first in the line, not to the inside of the bag. During the last practice, she was sitting out due to injuring her thumb in the game. This game is her 3rd game she has caught ever. Maybe an inning here and there in rec ball years ago, but never had an formal instruction or practice at the position until this season.

    Now, during practice, while she was sitting on the bench, the team is going through all of the errors made during the game. It was put out that my DD did a horrible job, and the C that came in for the last 2 innings caught more pitches then my DD. This was said to the entire team! Then it was said that throws were bad from the catcher position. My DD had a throw down to 3rd on a steal that tipped of the 3rd basemans glove and went passed the LF'er who was not backing up correctly. The ball should have been caught easily. But, it was the throw that was the problem. Later in the game, same throw and the runner was CS.

    I just cannot think of why a coach would think that after a 5 run loss (0-3 on the season) you would place the blame on one person and tell the team that it was that persons fault, then within ear shot of other players, belittle a 17yr old girl to other coaches to the point that teammates are telling her what is being said and the team thinks its her fault!

    By the way, my DD1 has verbally committed to play for a D3 school and is a junior. Only girl on the team that even wants to play in college. All this from a HC that told DD1 that she will get her letter this year?

    DD2 will be a freshman next year, but since she is a pitcher, so I am sure she will be treated differently.

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    I can talk softball all day cvsoftball's Avatar
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    sounds like (because I wasn't there) the HC is shooting the messenger.
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    Checking out the clubhouse shiocschmidty's Avatar
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    Not saying the information you received is incorrect or what you saw are false, but remember the information is coming 2nd hand from a 17 yo kid. And you described 2 throws that were the same. You were not at practice to hear coach "belittling" your daughter. In my experience there are parents who really wear the rose colored glasses when watching their own children. And like to blame others for plays that should have been made. From what your describing, there were several plays that your daughter should have made, but didn't. No reason to take it out strictly on your daughter tho, if the coach truly did. There are parents out there who believe too much of what the kids say, parents are not at practice everyday and don't fully understand what coaches are doing or seeing.

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    I can talk softball all day MoparFin's Avatar
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    You are correct, there were plays that she should have made and didnt. There is a difference in coaching to correct mistakes made and placing blame thogh. When a player goes home crying because of what was said to the team and what some of the players said to her then there is a coaching problem. The fact that a player is being singled out is ridiculous for a team sport. There was a ball hit to center field, the CF’er fell and then just laid there, laughing. While 2 runs scored and the batter ran to third. Was she called out? Nope. She is a senior and her father happens to be one of the biggest contributers to the booster club.

    Is she inexperienced and missed plays she should have made? Yes. Should a coach be pointing all of those errors out to the entire team? No. It does absolutely nothing but hurt thier self esteem and cause divides on the team. I can honestly say I have never told any of my teams we lost a game because of one player.
    Last edited by MoparFin; 04-11-2018 at 10:42 AM.

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    Softball Junkie CMMom1740's Avatar
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    I think it all depends on the coach's tone and approach. And if you weren't there to witness it, you just can't know. If he's reviewing the game and going over the errors made in a constructive way meant to teach how to avoid similar errors in the future, there's a place for this. If he's saying, "But SUSIE here just really blew it at C; look at all the ways she screwed up!," then that's a different story. I've heard our coach have conversations like this with the team in a factual, non-emotional way, and no one was upset by it. He might say, "Susie had those couple of wonky throws, but you guys weren't really backing her up either" or something like that and I think that's fair game.

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    Administrator Ken Krause's Avatar
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    I think the key issue here is you have a catcher who is a volunteer, or maybe even a conscript. Apparently no one else wanted the job so MoparFin's daughter agreed to do it. Imagine how many runs would have scored if she hadn't been there. To me, the coach should be saying "thank you for stepping up." Then he/she should work with her to teach her the position. And understand no matter how much you yell, the learning process will take time.

    It's like a flute player in the HS band saying she'll step up and play the french horn because the band needs a french horn player. Both are musical instruments, but they're very different. It's going to take some time to learn that french horn, despite the fact you've seen french horn players throughout your time playing music.

    One of my former players went through that her junior year. No one wanted to catch, so she volunteered. Did an ok job on a mediocre team. The next year a catcher came in and my former player was thanked for her service by being sent to the bench rather than getting a shot at a position she was more suited to. She stuck around for a couple of weeks then decided to find other ways to spend the spring of her senior year.
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    Softball Junkie Il softball fan's Avatar
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    Mopar, as someone else mentioned above, you do have to consider that it is being relayed by a teenage girl to another teenage girl, who is then relaying to you. Without actually hearing the words and tone of the coach, you can't really be sure how it was said. Just tell your daughter to have a thick skin and just do the best she can.
    My DD is in the exact same position as yours this year. We had an awesome catcher the last few years at our school. Lead the team in batting average, was one of the best defensive catchers in the area. She graduated last year. Well, all summer there was a girl that was supposed to be the next catcher. New gear. New glove. People working with her to try to teach her. Well high school practices started, and she is missing balls left and right, throws down to second are flying into the outfield, etc. Coaches start getting onto her, and it just gets worse and worse. Girl leaves practices several times in tears. Literally two days before first game coach approaches my DD and she agrees to be catcher. Well, DD had scoliosis surgery two years ago, and is not suppose to be a catcher. She has not played catcher much at all since 14U days. She did sub in a some games during 16u in summer of 2016. Did not do travel ball at all during 2017. She is rusty this year, as expected. Has had numerous balls in the dirt get passed her. Our number 1 pitcher is fast, but wild. She has been upset a few times that runs are scoring on balls in the dirt, or balls that have been over her head. All I can tell her is keep doing the best that you can. If the coach believes that the other girl will do better than you, then he will make that call. Nothing you can do about it. I think your DD is in the same spot.

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    I can talk softball all day MoparFin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CMMom1740 View Post
    I think it all depends on the coach's tone and approach. And if you weren't there to witness it, you just can't know. If he's reviewing the game and going over the errors made in a constructive way meant to teach how to avoid similar errors in the future, there's a place for this. If he's saying, "But SUSIE here just really blew it at C; look at all the ways she screwed up!," then that's a different story. I've heard our coach have conversations like this with the team in a factual, non-emotional way, and no one was upset by it. He might say, "Susie had those couple of wonky throws, but you guys weren't really backing her up either" or something like that and I think that's fair game.
    Having had conversations with my teams like this, I can tell you that you get a much better response with your second approach. But, since it was basically put out the first way you said (from what I was told), there in lies the problem.

    You are all correct in that I wasn't there and did not hear exactly how it was said. With my DD having the travel ball expeirence that she does, being coached by multiple college coaches that were coaching rec when she played, she does have a pretty thick skin and knows how to take constructive criticism. This is the first time we have had such problems with a coach.

    I fully believe that it is the way things are approached. I have a family member who also worked with this HC and said he treats his subordinates at work horrbily also. Very little leadership or guidance, but quick to place blame and let others know.

    After a game with many errors at a bunch of positions, I see little need in taking the time to remind everyone what they messed up. When I have games like this, my next practice would focus on drills needed to cover the things that went wrong. Not rehash the errors placing blame. They all know where errors were made. Working with those players, all of them, to do the best you can to prevent those errors from happening again is whats needed. Not approaching it in a way that divides the team, places blame and hurts a players self esteem.

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    Softball Junkie CMMom1740's Avatar
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    I can certainly agree with that. Some girls have no problem handling screamer-type coaches and improving their performance, but I know I wouldn't be one of them. I would want to shrivel up in a ball and crawl into a corner. My DD wouldn't though; it would piss her off and make her want to prove him wrong, by God! But pointing fingers and placing blame without teaching is not productive and will ultimately undermine a coach's authority, especially if only some players find themselves in the cross-hairs and others seem to always stay under the radar.

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    Certified softball maniac BobInMadison's Avatar
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    I have no idea if your DD 2 will be treated differently or not.

    There are some coaches who have a tendency to treat little sister as if she were big sister. It is interesting, in a horrible way, to see girls treated badly or well depending on how well their big sister played, or how well their big sister got along with the coach.

    I'm not trying to darken your mood even more, but be warned that at some HS the perceived sins of the big sister are taken out on the little sister. I sincerely hope that is not the case at your HS.

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