Parent complaints after Game #1

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Oct 5, 2017
214
43
Western Indiana
Okay, I am one of those "HS coaches" but here goes my rant.

Monday night we had our first game. We are a totally new coaching staff with a program that won 6 games last season. Our roster is composed of over 75% freshmen and sophomores. The coaching staff agreed on a line up and a plan going into the game. Knowing that the rest of the week would probably include lineup changes and adjustments.

Watching practice performance and game execution are two different things that I believe we can all agree on. So we even told the players this lineup is not written in stone and never will be. Even said that starters needed to work harder to keep their spots because subs wanted them.

After practice last night we are approached by a group of parents complaining their daughters did not get to play enough/didn't start. WHY? We had played one game.

I love coaching!
 
Oct 11, 2010
8,337
113
Chicago, IL
I am more wound up at 1st game then anytime of season . DD works all off season and I want to see if her work payed off.

Hopefully it will settle down for you.
 

Cannonball

Ex "Expert"
Feb 25, 2009
4,854
113
Okay, I am one of those "HS coaches" but here goes my rant.

Monday night we had our first game. We are a totally new coaching staff with a program that won 6 games last season. Our roster is composed of over 75% freshmen and sophomores. The coaching staff agreed on a line up and a plan going into the game. Knowing that the rest of the week would probably include lineup changes and adjustments.

Watching practice performance and game execution are two different things that I believe we can all agree on. So we even told the players this lineup is not written in stone and never will be. Even said that starters needed to work harder to keep their spots because subs wanted them.

After practice last night we are approached by a group of parents complaining their daughters did not get to play enough/didn't start. WHY? We had played one game.

I love coaching!

Did you have a parent meeting after your team was selected? If not, you have learned a valuable lesson.
 
Apr 26, 2015
704
43
I agree - parent meeting. We have one every year (DD is only MS). The coaches explain that playing time is not guaranteed, not equal, etc. They also lay out the 24 hour rule where no parents can talk to the coach for at least 24 hours after a game and preferably the conversations start with the kids/coaches - not parents!

ETA: sorry you had to deal with that! I think a lot of people forget the time and thought most coaches devote to the team. It is not a job I would want and I have the upmost respect for those who do take it on!
 
Jan 30, 2018
252
0
SE Michigan
I agree - parent meeting. We have one every year (DD is only MS). The coaches explain that playing time is not guaranteed, not equal, etc. They also lay out the 24 hour rule where no parents can talk to the coach for at least 24 hours after a game and preferably the conversations start with the kids/coaches - not parents!

ETA: sorry you had to deal with that! I think a lot of people forget the time and thought most coaches devote to the team. It is not a job I would want and I have the upmost respect for those who do take it on!

This^^^. Parent meetings are very important so you can lay out the rules. Our TB team has them too, the 24 hour rule is a must. I am an assistant and had a parent approach me at our hotel, after the head coach wouldn't talk to him, about playing time. Mind you we had just won three games against good teams at our first away tournament of the year. I actually got into him about approaching me at all but especially within 24 hours. This dad never really got it, we had to kick him out of our dugout twice because he would come to yell at his daughter, this was her first year of TB. Needless to say they were not invited back. I often wonder what these parents think they will accomplish? What ever happened to earning your PT? and letting your kid learn to deal with things themselves. My daughter has always got plenty of PT but my son has not. He was on a good team and didn't quite get the PT I thought he deserved, I never approached the coach, who is a friend of mine. I let my son use it as motivation to get better.
 

Josh Greer

DFP Vendor
Jul 31, 2013
934
93
Central Missouri
This is what I always refer to when parent/ball conversations come up:

"I always said that the only team that I would coach would be a team of orphans, and now here we are. The reason for me saying this is that I have found the biggest problem with youth sports has been the parents. I think that it is best to nip this in the bud right off the bat. I think the concept that I am asking all of you to grab is that this experience is ALL about the [kids]. If there is anything about it that includes you, we need to make a change of plans. " - Mike Matheny

From the Matheny "Manifesto". If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it. Then make copies for all of the families.
http://mikematheny.com/sites/default/files/docs/MathenyManifesto.pdf
 
Oct 5, 2017
214
43
Western Indiana
We did have a parent meeting with a handbook given to each family. The last page was a disclaimer saying that player and parent had read the handbook to be handed in signed by player parent and I would sign it also.

The interesting part was each player had approached me during the day to ask what they could do to play more. They (players) acted in a mature manor for underclassmen. I felt they left with a better understanding of our expectation.
 

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