Prayer circles

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Jul 16, 2013
4,659
113
Pennsylvania
I have no problems with others doing a prayer circle. I don't care if our team participates. My only concern is that if someone chooses not to and having them get singled out or looked down upon for doing it. For those saying it's fine - you don't need to do it if you don't want to, there are still those who would look down upon girls if they don't. People should be allowed to question things and stand up for themselves. Because the HC declined participating for his team because some of his players were Jewish, I do not feel like that was out of line. The other coach could have chosen to respect him and done his prayer circle with his own team. Whose beliefs are more important in that case?

Adults should act like adults. They should use sound judgement, be respectful, and act professionally. I do not condone anyone getting "singled out" or "looked down upon". Since your question includes two coaches, I will reply with my thoughts from each side of the argument.
1) Head coach of team implementing the prayer circle -- First off, I would not be the one implementing such a thing. But if I did, I would respect the beliefs of others. If they choose to participate, great. If they choose not to participate, great again. I don't care either way, and would not look down upon anyone that chose not to participate.
2) Head coach of other team -- If someone started a prayer circle and I wasn't prepared for it, more than likely I would ask my team to participate, and then meet with them afterwards asking for their input. If they told me as a group that they would prefer not to participate in something like that again, I would very politely refuse the next time it happened and simply walk away.

In either case, I would act as calmly and professionally as I possibly could. I would not cause a scene or create any issues. As a coach, I have a responsibility to act a certain way in front of my players. And I take that responsibility very seriously.

And as far as the girls being "looked down upon". Unfortunately that is part of life. My daughter faces that constantly. In fact I just got a text from her 30 minutes ago. Apparently several of her friends are going to a college party tonight and wanted her to tag along. They are all 18 and yes, alcohol will be involved. DD politely said no because she wants to go to the cage with me tonight to work on her hitting. The high school season starts next week and she wants to be ready. Apparently these other girls are giving her a really hard time about this. She is used to it and just deals with it. No, it isn't right, and it shouldn't happen. But that doesn't mean it won't. Like I said, it is part of life...
 
Apr 5, 2013
2,130
83
Back on the dirt...
Adults should act like adults. They should use sound judgement, be respectful, and act professionally. I do not condone anyone getting "singled out" or "looked down upon". Since your question includes two coaches, I will reply with my thoughts from each side of the argument.
1) Head coach of team implementing the prayer circle -- First off, I would not be the one implementing such a thing. But if I did, I would respect the beliefs of others. If they choose to participate, great. If they choose not to participate, great again. I don't care either way, and would not look down upon anyone that chose not to participate.
2) Head coach of other team -- If someone started a prayer circle and I wasn't prepared for it, more than likely I would ask my team to participate, and then meet with them afterwards asking for their input. If they told me as a group that they would prefer not to participate in something like that again, I would very politely refuse the next time it happened and simply walk away.

In either case, I would act as calmly and professionally as I possibly could. I would not cause a scene or create any issues. As a coach, I have a responsibility to act a certain way in front of my players. And I take that responsibility very seriously.

And as far as the girls being "looked down upon". Unfortunately that is part of life. My daughter faces that constantly. In fact I just got a text from her 30 minutes ago. Apparently several of her friends are going to a college party tonight and wanted her to tag along. They are all 18 and yes, alcohol will be involved. DD politely said no because she wants to go to the cage with me tonight to work on her hitting. The high school season starts next week and she wants to be ready. Apparently these other girls are giving her a really hard time about this. She is used to it and just deals with it. No, it isn't right, and it shouldn't happen. But that doesn't mean it won't. Like I said, it is part of life...

Such a LOGICAL thought process.... sounds like your DD has been paying attention to your instruction as well.
 
Aug 10, 2016
686
63
Georgia
As for what actually transpired between the coaches, that was another poster whose team it was. There was no mention of a scene being made. The poster said the coach politely declined. If this is something that happens regularly, why do they have to participate just this one to appease the other team. What if they had already decided they did not want to do it?

And getting looked down upon or ridiculed is something my kids should get used to? Not to go too far, but when did bullying become something to just deal with?
 
Jul 16, 2013
4,659
113
Pennsylvania
As for what actually transpired between the coaches, that was another poster whose team it was. There was no mention of a scene being made. The poster said the coach politely declined. If this is something that happens regularly, why do they have to participate just this one to appease the other team. What if they had already decided they did not want to do it?

And getting looked down upon or ridiculed is something my kids should get used to? Not to go too far, but when did bullying become something to just deal with?

If the coach politely declined, that should have been the end of it, in my opinion. Personally, as a coach, I have never been asked to participate in another teams prayer circle, so it isn't something I have ever discussed with my team. I am merely stating a hypothetical. Since it isn't something my team has been prepared for, I would attempt to act respectfully in that first instance. But you can bet I would have a plan if/when it happened a second time. If my team chose to not participate, I would respect that. I cannot speak for how other "adults" act. I can only speak for myself and how I personally would handle certain situations. I know a lot of adults that don't make great decisions all the time.

As far as the rest, that is absolutely not what I am trying to convey. There are many different forms and levels of bullying. None of them are right, but they are a reality. I simply choose to teach my daughter that they are a fact of life and help her to deal with them. If they are extreme, and other actions need to be taken, so be it, we will take the necessary action. But we don't plan to make a trip to the principles office every time someone looks funny at her. We actually did take one such case to the principle of her school last year. To be more precise, she was struggling with something, asked DW and myself for our advice. We suggested to her that she speak with the principle, which she did. The principal then asked for a meeting with DD, DW, and myself to discuss the situation. In my opinion the principle handled the matter appropriately, and we moved on. It's all a matter of degree. Some bullying is dangerous and needs to be acted upon. Some bullying is just immature and is better to be ignored.
 
Aug 19, 2015
1,118
113
Atlanta, GA
As for what actually transpired between the coaches, that was another poster whose team it was. There was no mention of a scene being made. The poster said the coach politely declined. If this is something that happens regularly, why do they have to participate just this one to appease the other team. What if they had already decided they did not want to do it?

And getting looked down upon or ridiculed is something my kids should get used to? Not to go too far, but when did bullying become something to just deal with?

The only scene that was made was the opposing coach huffing and puffing about it and refusing to shake our HC's hand. It was quite silly. The parents didn't even notice that anything was going on until the opposing coach stomped off in a huff. Our HC was perfectly calm and collected and very polite about it. That was literally our last tournament of the season and we had not had any issues whatsoever up until that point.
 
Jul 16, 2013
4,659
113
Pennsylvania
The only scene that was made was the opposing coach huffing and puffing about it and refusing to shake our HC's hand. It was quite silly. The parents didn't even notice that anything was going on until the opposing coach stomped off in a huff. Our HC was perfectly calm and collected and very polite about it. That was literally our last tournament of the season and we had not had any issues whatsoever up until that point.

Again, my opinion..... Your coach handled it well. The other coach is a tool.
 
Feb 17, 2014
7,152
113
Orlando, FL
The only scene that was made was the opposing coach huffing and puffing about it and refusing to shake our HC's hand. It was quite silly. The parents didn't even notice that anything was going on until the opposing coach stomped off in a huff. Our HC was perfectly calm and collected and very polite about it. That was literally our last tournament of the season and we had not had any issues whatsoever up until that point.

Sounds childish and self serving by both coaches. This was the HC of the Christian faith asking another HC of the Jewish faith to have his team join them in prayer. You make it sound like it was a command to worship Satan and kill a goat. I have seen Christians, Jews, and Muslims show each other more common courtesy and mutual respect than that.
 
Aug 19, 2015
1,118
113
Atlanta, GA
Sounds childish and self serving by both coaches. This was the HC of the Christian faith asking another HC of the Jewish faith to have his team join them in prayer. You make it sound like it was a command to worship Satan and kill a goat. I have seen Christians, Jews, and Muslims show each other more common courtesy and mutual respect than that.

I didn't really offer my opinion about it at all because I don't think it's relevant. My DD joins in the prayer circles and I don't object. It's not the asking that was the issue; it was the childish reaction afterward. I personally wouldn't have declined if I were our team's HC, but I didn't have any issue with him doing so. I personally would have just bowed my head and stayed silent during the prayer.
 
Oct 7, 2015
72
8
Sounds childish and self serving by both coaches. This was the HC of the Christian faith asking another HC of the Jewish faith to have his team join them in prayer. You make it sound like it was a command to worship Satan and kill a goat. I have seen Christians, Jews, and Muslims show each other more common courtesy and mutual respect than that.

What about Hindu religion? They don't share the same god. What about atheists? They don't believe in any god.

How about instead of saying a Christian prayer we show sportsmanship in a way we've all agreed on. We shake hands. We say good game. We wish the coaches good luck in their next game.
 

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