Freshman pitcher dd. First time playing school ball.

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Jun 27, 2017
9
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My daughter has been a pitcher since she was 8. Started out little league- all stars (3rd, 4th and 8th in the state playoffs) - did local travel teams for a while- moved to a B travel team last year. This year she’s with an A travel team for the first time.

But Monday starts a whole new world for us.

School ball. ugh.

We didn’t have a junior high team- my oldest daughter didn’t play softball. I have no idea what to expect and I am so crazy nervous about it.

I guess I’m so anxious because it feels like the perfect storm brewing.
1) There are very small numbers of upperclassmen (1 lone varsity pitcher), but about 20 entering freshman all trying out (no joke). My daughter is 1 of 3 that takes pitching lessons all year around. There are a few others that pitched good enough for little league play, but don’t take lessons.
2) It feels like every single one of the other freshmen parents volunteered to become assistant JV coaches this year.
3) There’s rumors that some of the freshman are such a good team/players that some may play varsity. Not sure if my daughter is one of them.
4) But at one point she did leave the town’s local travel team for the other teams since they practiced more. So she’s more or less an outsider… or at least it feels like it.
5). President of our school board has a daughter on the team.

I’m just so anxious about it all. I’ll add that 3 of the new ‘volunteer’ coaches were old coaches from the local team that she left. Maybe that’s the reason for most of my uneasiness I guess. I know high school ball is supposed to just be for fun. This just sure doesn’t feel like it’s going to be fun. So I guess I’ll say that I will accept ANY & ALL advice on how to still find or make this season fun anyway. For her. But for us too, or (serious question!) is it never fun for parents or never intended to be fun for parents. ? Parents can only have fun in travel ball. ?

Sigh. I will try ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING
 
Last edited:
Sep 21, 2017
230
43
PA
I’m just so anxious about it all. I’ll add that 3 of the new ‘volunteer’ coaches were old coaches from the local team that she left. Maybe that’s the reason for most of my uneasiness I guess. I know high school ball is supposed to just be for fun. This just sure doesn’t feel like it’s going to be fun. So I guess I’ll say that I will accept ANY & ALL advice on how to still find or make this season fun anyway. For her. But for us too, or (serious question!) is it never fun for parents or never intended to be fun for parents. ? Parents can only have fun in travel ball. ?

This reply isn't necessarily directed to you, just a statement, in general reflecting the bold/underlined. I've coached HS sports for 20 years, and I've never heard this until I started to read this forum. Should HS sports be fun, of course, but do you know what I consider the most fun...teaching HS players to compete, get better, have high character, build lasting relationships, and winning. It's not like we're going to throw a ball out there with some juice boxes and "just have fun".

I don't mean for this to be an "everybody attacks the HS coach/program" response, there's too many of those already, and Lord knows I have seen some bad HS coaches, but I guess I have just lived in a few different parts of the country where HS softball (athletics in general) was considered to be important, and not just like a rec league.
 
Last edited:
Feb 28, 2015
307
28
Heatbox
High School ball is 100 days of heck for some girls and 100 days of Heaven for others. It all depends on her attitude, the other girls on the team and unfortunately some coaches. Have her be a team player and work hard. DD2 starts her 1st Varsity game today and almost all the other teammates root for her as she does for all of them. You can tell which girls work hard and have some polish to them. Hopefully the coaches notice too. Good luck with your season.
 
Aug 29, 2011
2,581
83
NorCal
It sounds like HS ball runs the gambit from awesome to awful. Hopefully for your DD her experience is closer to the awesome side of the spectrum.
 
Nov 16, 2015
184
18
Feel free to call me cynical.

My daughter has been a pitcher since she was 8. Started out little league- all stars (3rd, 4th and 8th in the state playoffs) - did local travel teams for a while- moved to a B travel team last year. This year she’s with an A travel team for the first time.
The best pitcher on our school team is an 11th grader that started pitching 3 years ago. We had a girl in 5th grade pushing 50. They changed the rules bc of her dominance and now she doesnt even pitch. Girls devlop differently

School ball. ugh.

We didn’t have a junior high team- my oldest daughter didn’t play softball. I have no idea what to expect and I am so crazy nervous about it. You tell us you dont know what to expect, but you already have a bad attitude based on your ugh comment

I guess I’m so anxious because it feels like the perfect storm brewing. I am wondering if you are creating this storm
1) There are very small numbers of upperclassmen great! a chance to compete and earn a spot. (1 lone varsity pitcher), but about 20 entering freshman all trying out (no joke). My daughter is 1 of 3 that takes pitching lessons all year around. There are a few others that pitched good enough for little league play, but don’t take lessons. There has been a lot of wasted $ on lessons and tons of poor instruction at these lessons
2) It feels like every single one of the other freshmen parents volunteered to become assistant JV coaches this year. 20 assistant coaches? Wow lots of instruction
3) There’s rumors that some of the freshman are such a good team/players that some may play varsity. Not sure if my daughter is one of them. everyone loves rumors
4) But at one point she did leave the town’s local travel team for the other teams since they practiced more. So she’s more or less an outsider… or at least it feels like it. I dont see the point
5). President of our school board has a daughter on the team. So.

I’m just so anxious about it all. I’ll add that 3 of the new ‘volunteer’ coaches were old coaches from the local team that she left. Maybe that’s the reason for most of my uneasiness I guess. I know high school ball is supposed to just be for fun. Really? just for fun! School colors mean a lot and a high school state championships means a heck of a lot more than some weekend championship. This just sure doesn’t feel like it’s going to be fun. So I guess I’ll say that I will accept ANY & ALL advice on how to still find or make this season fun anyway. For her. But for us too, or (serious question!) is it never fun for parents or never intended to be fun for parents. ? Parents can only have fun in travel ball. ? My wife and i talk all the time how much fun it would be to travel with our school ball families

Sigh. I will try ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING

Simple solution. Start with an open mind. You dont even sound like you are giving it a chance and have a multitude of excuses lined up if it doesnt work out. Travel ball and school ball are different entities and should be treated that way. Both my DD's are A level travel ball girls. Both would pick school ball in a heart beat over travel and its not even a discussion. The school uniform means more. The 300+ people at the ball diamond for the region final was way better than taking the field in Chattanooga last year.

Go to the games and cheer for your dd and your teammates. That is all you can do. Support her, lover her to death, dont criticize anyone and have a blast. It will be over before you can blink.

I will apologize up front for sounding like a jerk
 
Sep 29, 2014
2,421
113
the biggest issue is you can't control anything...there is no "other" team to tryout for or switch to if things don't work out....Good luck and definitely give it a chance and let your DD find her place
 
Dec 5, 2012
4,143
63
Mid West
As with everything... It is what you make it. There will be ups and downs. Yes, it should be fun. However, my idea of sports fun is the sprit of competition. My best vs. your best and the better team win!
 
Last edited:
Dec 10, 2015
845
63
Chautauqua County
some parents are quick to volunteer to coach because they're helicopters. just know this. president of the school board has a daughter playing? maybe he/she leans on the coach, maybe not. just know this. because when you already know these things, they won't catch you by surprise and you can tell your DD, hey, it's none of your concern. practice hard, play hard, be a good team mate and make it impossible for the coach to not play you. a good HS program is well worth it.
 
Jun 22, 2017
10
3
Wow it sure sounds like you have a lot of respect for the high school and coaches that you are sending your daughter to. And gee, I wonder if she will pick up on your negative attitude and spread that like cancer across the team. I absolutely hate it when parents, who are obviously the biggest influence in a childs life, start with attitudes like this! Get over yourself! Take off the rose colored glasses, and teach your children how to be good teammates and quit belittling a program before you have even started the season.
 
Feb 4, 2015
641
28
Massachusetts
Hawkeyes and others gave some great advice up above, so I won't repeat what they said because they are spot on. Here's what I'll add...

- Do not project your feeling onto your DD. Let he make up her own mind and enjoy the experience, it goes by too quickly.
- Let her control what she can control. Google "10 things that require zero talent" and give it to her.
- Let her be happy where ever she ends up. Who cares if she plays JV or Fresh this year instead of Varsity (regardless of your perception of why). Let her enjoy it and work hard because she WILL have her time on Varsity. Don't pollute the pool before she gets there.

People get jobs because of who they know, promotions because of politics. She's not entitled to anything and may not get what you want. Let her just have fun with her peers, there are no scholarships or multi-million contracts given out for HS ball.
 

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