Advice about twins?

I have twins, one's a boy and one's a girl though. When they practice together, it just becomes a battle.

Friends of ours have twin boys as well. We generally had to make them sit at opposite ends of the bench, and they've resorted to putting them on different teams now.

I know that's not helpful, but I do feel for you. Everything is a competition at our house from the best grades to reading the best to who's taller.

I work at a college, and a couple of years ago our pitcher and catcher were twins. They also backed up each others positions. I assumed they'd worked together.

Hopefully, they'll be around others on the team enough that they'll find other "partners" to practice with while at team practice.

I just replied with this over in your post about "seeing the quick movements"...

Wow, I guess we're pretty lucky in that regard. They've been working together, running the battery for over 6 years now, helping each other with tee work and soft toss, throwdowns, etc.. They also go pretty hard against each other in other sports, BBall one on one games and around the world get a little heated...;-) Homework & studying together has been good for them too. It's definitely not always rainbows and unicorns but overall they do really well together. I stepped in and provided some "guidance" early on so they had to figure it out. Now they really have become each others biggest fans and cheerleaders which has been awesome to experience. My catcher beast wrote an amazing thank you letter to her sister while attending the Jen Schro Retreat last month...almost brought me to tears.

Good luck with it and have fun, they grow up to way too fast!!

Bob516 said:

Anyone have experience with twins who both play? My DDs, who just turned 13, have never been great about practicing together, at times refusing to. Often I would have to take each out separately to practice, doubling my time on the field, not very convenient. Now they are on the same team, as of last weekend. I'm imagining it is only going to make the situation worse. If anyone has any suggestions on ways I could encourage them to practice together, I would be deeply grateful.

Biggest irony, one pitches, the other catches.

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It's time to put the onus on them. At 13 they are mature enough to start to understand the way the world works. The reality is you don't have the time to work with them separately. What you need to do is to give them two choices. Either they practice and work together or they do not practice at all. Tell them you are not going to referee during practices and you only have so many hours in the day.

I didn't have twins, but I did have two DD's 13 months apart. They fought all the time, except when were at the field. I would not tolerate it and they both knew it. There were a few butt chewing's at first till they figured out I wasn't joking around. You have to set some expectations and keep to them.

A few years ago I had a pitching student who had a sister who was a year older who caught. I also worked with the catcher. Mom told me they were always fighting at home. Mom was a single mom who was unable to catch. So the older DD had to catch for the younger pitcher at lessons. One day they showed up to a lesson. Whatever was happening at home that day carried over into the lesson. The catcher was throwing the ball at the pitcher's ankles. She was giving her attitude if a bad pitch was thrown. And this was during warmups. I let it go for a little while to see if they stopped. It got worse. Finally I stopped the lesson and brought the both of them to their mom and let them have it in front of their mom. I know mom was embarrassed that I had to do that. Both of the girls didn't know what hit them. I ended the lesson right there telling the girls I would not take their mom's money for the lesson that day and they needed to figure out how to work together for the duration of a lesson. I told them to go home, then call me and let me know if they figure out how to work together. Mom sent me an email that night thanking me for doing what I did. She said it was the last thing her DD's would have expected. After that there were never any issues at lessons.

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Sparky Guy, I can see how that would work for someone giving them lessons. I will have to think about how it would work for me to try that. I am beginning to think that I need to see how they do during team practice, and see if they put aside their sibling differences on the field. It will be a bit of a lesson on their TB team this fall, as my catching DD is the first string catcher, and my pitching DD might be the second or third string pitcher. The real test will be in their MS ball, which will begin in the spring here. On their MS team they will both be first string, and will be working together constantly.

Bob516 said:

Sparky Guy, I can see how that would work for someone giving them lessons. I will have to think about how it would work for me to try that. I am beginning to think that I need to see how they do during team practice, and see if they put aside their sibling differences on the field. It will be a bit of a lesson on their TB team this fall, as my catching DD is the first string catcher, and my pitching DD might be the second or third string pitcher. The real test will be in their MS ball, which will begin in the spring here. On their MS team they will both be first string, and will be working together constantly.

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If your kids are anything like mine (well my 7 yo for the moment..) they will behave like angels when the authority figure is anybody other than their Dad. Better than the alternative I guess...

pattar said:

behave like angels when the authority figure is anybody other than their Dad.

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Exactly.

pattar said:

Better than the alternative I guess...

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Absolutely.

Bob516 said:

Sparky Guy, I can see how that would work for someone giving them lessons. I will have to think about how it would work for me to try that. I am beginning to think that I need to see how they do during team practice, and see if they put aside their sibling differences on the field. It will be a bit of a lesson on their TB team this fall, as my catching DD is the first string catcher, and my pitching DD might be the second or third string pitcher. The real test will be in their MS ball, which will begin in the spring here. On their MS team they will both be first string, and will be working together constantly.

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You need to change your mindset. You need to approach working with them as a coach, not dad. Set the expectations. Make sure they understand them. If necessary, stop and go home. Let them know your time is too valuable to be wasted on non-productive activities. The other important thing. Make sure the wife knows what's going on. Also, be sure that softball does not carry over into the rest of your time with them.

I have boy/girl twins who are now in college. They have always been each other's support system/best friends, but they really hated when they were considered a "package deal." There were a couple of times where we got the "if we were not twins would you do it" or "if we were two years apart" and that made us stop to think. I guess I look at it the same as anyone with several kids on teams ~ you adjust your schedule and make it work. If they were not twins and not on the same team, would you feel as strongly about them practicing together? (Side note: Our oldest pitched and our younger daughter caught...they went out and practiced together when the younger got big enough to catch for big sister.) Likewise, they need to understand that, on the team, their sibling is to be viewed as another teammate rather than a sibling. (Easier said than done - good luck!)

Sparky Guy said:

You need to change your mindset. You need to approach working with them as a coach, not dad. Set the expectations. Make sure they understand them. If necessary, stop and go home. Let them know your time is too valuable to be wasted on non-productive activities. The other important thing. Make sure the wife knows what's going on.

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I don't see how I can be their coach, I know so little about the game. I see myself as someone who they can practice with. I like your advice about saying I don't want to waste my time. When you mentioned making sure my wife knows what's going on, can you be more specific? Thanks.

Sparky Guy said:

Also, be sure that softball does not carry over into the rest of your time with them.

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I do not know what you mean by this?