Rejection?

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Apr 26, 2015
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on a related note, any suggestions for telling DDs current coach she is not coming back for fall? current/old team had tryouts about one week ago, DD could not make it because of other commitments, and we communicated this to coaches, and they indicated no problem, "we know what (DD) can do". we were already looking around, and DD had one tryout two weeks ago, one last week, the first one offered, and after a couple of discussions with the coach we accepted.

tried to call last night, got voicemail, just left message asking coach to call us, any suggestions on what to say when conversation happens? OK to notify via text or voicemail if I cannot get them after so many tries (and how many)?

Thanks

We had to do this this year. DD had played for the same coach for 4 years and for a multitude of reasons she felt it was time to move on. I knew that it would be the "right" thing for me to call rather than text or email (which incidentally was the way the HC had "fired" 2 ACs - on via text and one via email - but whatever!). She attended her team tryouts on Tuesday and I told him at the time that she was weighing a couple different options. I called him 1st thing Wednesday morning. I approached the conversation thanking him for the years of coaching and thanked him for his time and sacrifices. I then told him that DD would be moving on to another team. I was hoping for an "I'm disappointed but wish her the best" which is what a good coach should do. It turned into a very uncomfortable phone call for me. . Looking back I almost wish I had emailed because the call took a very personal turn with the coach accusing me of all sorts of things, attacking my character and wishing me a s****y drive to her new team. I guess the silver lining here was that I was more convinced than ever that DD made the right decision.

Hopefully your coach will be a little more mature. If you don't hear back in a day or so I would probably drop him an email. You want to give him the best opportunity to fill your DD's position.

As for the other offers we turned down...I called the ones back who called us and emailed those who emailed us. Basically thanking them for their interest in DD and telling them we decided to go another direction. Wishing them much success this coming year. Personally I would rather not burn bridges because you never know when circumstances might change.
 

Top_Notch

Screwball
Dec 18, 2014
512
63
any suggestions for telling DDs current coach she is not coming back for fall?
We just moved after being on the same team for 4 years. The team was very good. A personal phone call to the coach was made. Then personal calls to each family that we were close to and had been with for the four years. Finally, an email to the team stating we won't be coming back but we wished them best of luck and how lucky we were to be part of such a great team. Keep it short. Don't get into specifics because people will be mad and disappointed. Some will use your own words against you.

Leave with some class. Even if there are reasons not to. And there will be reasons.
 
Last edited:
May 17, 2012
2,804
113
Personally I would rather not burn bridges because you never know when circumstances might change.

This. As a coach I really don't care why you aren't taking a position on my team so I don't need great details. Keep it simple and short, "Coach, I decline the offer. Good luck with your season."

It's never personal with me and most likely we will cross paths down the road.
 
May 6, 2015
2,397
113
tried to call again last night, got voicemail again. I would prefer to do this over phone, I just feel it is right way to handle it. Not planning on getting into why unless the coach asks (If they ask, to me it means they want feedback, and I will honor that).

at what point do we just text the coach? or should we reach out to head of organization (incidentally, it appears one of his daughters is playing FH in same org as DD1 this fall, this is actually how we got introduced to team, his wife and my DW were talking at a indoor FH game this past winter)? I dont have an email from them, everything was text.
 
Oct 11, 2010
8,337
113
Chicago, IL
Might not want to talk to you. :)

1 voice mail is enough, hopefully they are moving on with what the have.

Only reason to send text or email is if you want it documented for some reason, which seems silly to me.

(One year there was some doubt DD would return, sent HC an Email saying DD would be back. HC called us 5 or 10 minutes latter telling us how great a year we wee going to have. Much rather HC spend time on parents and families staying then going.)

If parents is willing to share, it is always nice to know why so you can improve. As a parent leaving I have been become preety tight lipped because it is very easy for an argument to ensue which I do not care for.
 
Dec 2, 2013
3,410
113
Texas
tried to call again last night, got voicemail again. I would prefer to do this over phone, I just feel it is right way to handle it. Not planning on getting into why unless the coach asks (If they ask, to me it means they want feedback, and I will honor that).

at what point do we just text the coach? or should we reach out to head of organization (incidentally, it appears one of his daughters is playing FH in same org as DD1 this fall, this is actually how we got introduced to team, his wife and my DW were talking at a indoor FH game this past winter)? I dont have an email from them, everything was text.

Did you leave a voicemail? If not, I understand why you called again. If someone calls me and DOES NOT leave a voicemail then I'm not calling back. If it's not important enough to leave a message then it's not important for me to call back.
 
Nov 26, 2010
4,784
113
Michigan
Short and sweet no reasons given. Just a simple. "thanks for the interest in my dd, we have decided to go with another organization"

Don't get into reasons or a discussion that puts you or the coach in a defensive position. You will probably cross paths again no need to make it adversarial.
 
May 6, 2015
2,397
113
Did you leave a voicemail? If not, I understand why you called again. If someone calls me and DOES NOT leave a voicemail then I'm not calling back. If it's not important enough to leave a message then it's not important for me to call back.

I left message first call, DW left mesage second call (three days later). just asked for a call back.

tonite we will call head of org
 

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