Coaching Behaviour?

trust the team and get on board and help the process..."

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'Trust the process'. The new buzz word. I'd ask what's the 'process' is and how long of a 'process'.

Apppeerently the process includes a lot of yelling.

More then OP had to be annoyed if they felt the need to send an Email out to Team.

This is too much deja vu for me!! The running doesn't freak me out as much as the attitude that is coming through in what you're sharing. Are we running because they weren't focused and listening and had poor attitudes? doesn't sound like it. Sounds like they were running because they didn't execute perfectly and the coaches were embarrassed to not beat a presumed lesser team.

This is a really hard position to be in for you guys. We stuck it out on our team last year because she was one of two pitchers and I didn't want to do that to the other girls/parents on the team. And you don't want to teach your daughter to be a quitter, they will run into people like this in their lives and this can be a learning opportunity - albeit a lame one. But if you stick it out I would be at every thing from now on. Every practice, every pre game situation, every post game situation - off to the side on your phone or in a book, etc. just listening and seeing what your daughter is dealing with so you can be counter acting any BS she is taking in, encouraging her to be respectful and work hard but to realize that not all adults get to speak into her life and these sound like some of them - and also evaluating if things hit a point where you need to pull her.

It's a balancing act... both myself and my daughter want a coach who CARES and is passionate for the game. A coach who pushes her and expects her to execute and perform well. We want a coach who can communicate, a coach who celebrates successes and addresses failures. What is appropriate for us may or may not be appropriate for you and your daughter. I think "punishments" like running should be used to correct behavior and not performance.

She has played for coaches in the past who did not have passion and/or didn't push her. We ended up frustrated with those coaches and ended up leaving those teams. BTW one of those coaches is a nationally recognized figure in the softball community and IMO is horribly inept and apathetic in almost all aspects of coaching.

The "not giving up" statement, may not be taken the way that it is intended. I know as a coach myself, 2 major injuries to a pitching rotation is a HUGE deal... it would be enough for some coaches to pack it in. I think the coach might be just saying we've had a few bumps in the road but we're still going to continue the journey so, everyone hang in there. With that being said maybe everyone's expectations should be adjusted to compensate for the loss of 2 pitchers. SHRUG

IMO your daughter should only participate in non-physical team activities. She can stay in shape doing things away from the team.

The staff is blaming poor results on lack of effort, but their cure isn't going to fix anything. Unless you're all training for a cross-country team after the softball season, not seeing anything that helps the team. It may make the coaches feel better to blame the kids and make them suffer, but the attitude that losses can only be caused by lack of effort or focus is always wrong IMO.

rdbass said:

'Trust the process'. The new buzz word. I'd ask what's the 'process' is and how long of a 'process'.

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We have heard "trust the process" ad nauseum since last September. In the HC's eyes, this means "Don't worry, we are smarter than you and have all of this figured out so don't bother to ask questions."

I've told him trust is one thing, blind trust is another. How do we trust something you haven't explained? If "the process" involves humiliating 12 year olds, I'm sorry but I can't get on board with that.

Classof2020 said:

This is too much deja vu for me!! The running doesn't freak me out as much as the attitude that is coming through in what you're sharing. Are we running because they weren't focused and listening and had poor attitudes? doesn't sound like it. Sounds like they were running because they didn't execute perfectly and the coaches were embarrassed to not beat a presumed lesser team.

This is a really hard position to be in for you guys. We stuck it out on our team last year because she was one of two pitchers and I didn't want to do that to the other girls/parents on the team. And you don't want to teach your daughter to be a quitter, they will run into people like this in their lives and this can be a learning opportunity - albeit a lame one. But if you stick it out I would be at every thing from now on. Every practice, every pre game situation, every post game situation - off to the side on your phone or in a book, etc. just listening and seeing what your daughter is dealing with so you can be counter acting any BS she is taking in, encouraging her to be respectful and work hard but to realize that not all adults get to speak into her life and these sound like some of them - and also evaluating if things hit a point where you need to pull her.

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Great post! We certainly are not going anywhere. DD is a total team player and very positive. She will do exactly as told exactly when told exactly how told, then re-visit after the season to see whether this is the right org for her. This group of coaches will move up with their DDs and the expected coaches for next year are actually phenomenal.

Learning how to deal with poor leadership is part of "the process" for DD in this case.

we have run into similar but not quite as bad situation (10u) girls would be standing around waiting their turn in practice (most practice time since moving outdoors, all girls are doing same drill, one at a time), so they get bored, restless, attention wanders, and coaches say we can just run instead. if you keep them moving and engaged, then they do not lose focus.

if team is not performing, coaches need to look at themselves as well as team, is what we are doing effective and productive.

osagedr said:

Excerpts from a note that went out to parents after last night's practice..."While actions taken by the coaching staff may not always seem to be in the players/parents best interest we have always asked that you trust the process..." "After last weeks post game run and chat we had a bit of a wake up call for the girls that was not based on lack of ability but more so a lack of effort. We asked that every girl decide if a better effort will help them become a better player/teammate...More importantly if being a better player/teammate is what they really want..." "Parents you have every right to question the way we do things however know that we do have is the best interests of all players at heart..." "Parents, no one learns more in this process than you do. You have 2 options 1) find someone who will listen to your complaints/negative comments or 2) trust the team and get on board and help the process..."

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I may be old school but I find nothing wrong with the comments made other than tying winning and losing with effort. Effort should always be given regardless of whether or not one thinks it will result in a win. Regarding the other comments, it sounds like parents were bitching. Is a coach supposed to be ok with that? Kids aren't stupid, if the parents are bitching and complaining it will eventually cause problems with the girls on the team. If a parent wanted to know why the kids were running, and asked a legitimate question to that effect, it sounds like it would have been answered in a fair way. Of course I am not privy to any of the actual questions asked so maybe the e-mail wasn't representing how the coaches really behaved here but taken at face value I don't really see a problem.

pattar said:

I may be old school but I find nothing wrong with the comments made other than tying winning and losing with effort. Effort should always be given regardless of whether or not one thinks it will result in a win. Regarding the other comments, it sounds like parents were bitching. Is a coach supposed to be ok with that? Kids aren't stupid, if the parents are bitching and complaining it will eventually cause problems with the girls on the team. If a parent wanted to know why the kids were running, and asked a legitimate question to that effect, it sounds like it would have been answered in a fair way. Of course I am not privy to any of the actual questions asked so maybe the e-mail wasn't representing how the coaches really behaved here but taken at face value I don't really see a problem.

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I totally agree that there is nothing wrong with expecting effort and with disciplining girls who are not giving 100%.

My original issue was with abusive behaviour toward players - name calling, demeaning, etc.

I think the coach's email demonstrates that he is aware of parent concerns. We have a very good group of parents with very few complainers - but yeah, if someone calls your 12 year old kid a "wuss", I think it's okay for a parent to have a problem with that.

It would be nice to see coaches admit at some point that they also have responsibility for some aspects of the team's performance. Hey, it's not all their fault...but it's not all the kids' fault either.

11-3-1 at this point