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May 6, 2015
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update, practice last night was a little better, only time whole team was assembled was when we were practicing throwing to 2B to cAtch steals. both catchers suited up, alternating, 3 players rotating as SS covering, and 3 baserunners. coach pitched, runner goes, SS covers, catchers popped and threw. other times, coach ran some practice with one group, another was hitting off tees or soft toss, then switch, with new group in field concentrating on fly balls.

they rescheduled practice later this week to the warehouse from outside. DD has not been at a warehouse practice since the policy was announced (rec games). and as there is a tournament this weekend (first for the team), this is a "mandatory" practice, with a mandatory parents meeting (apparently outside) during warmups, and they added another "mandatory" practice friday, which we most likely cannot make. We have already informed coach that DD is not available on Sat for tourney, but is Sunday, and Friday will proabably be busy for us as well (Major milestone for DS Saturday, by time of year you can probably guess), Coach asked if she could pick DD up for tournament, so we left it up to DD, was asked which she wanted to do, softball or family event, she said family event, both DW and I are torn, as it looks like there will be one other tourney this year, and that will be it for the team.

DW and I have discussed, and these closed practices are pretty much a no go for us (wonder what the plan is for winter, r we supposed to sit in our cars while they idle?). have asked head of "organization" (only two teams I am aware of currently, 14U team collapsed early spring, not certain of details, head of organization coaches a 12U team, and DD is on 10u team started over winter) to contact me again, as we need to speak with him. just might accelerate what we have pretty much decided, that we will find other options in fall/winter, but we were going to have her finish the "season" (ie play sunday this weekend, then the other tournament scheduled in July), but will see what becomes when we say she will not attend closed practice.
 
May 6, 2015
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talked to head of organization finally last night, and got clarification on warehouse issue. basically, they are going to build / install a gallery before end of summer, but for now, parents have to be outside, but doors, including large rollup door, will be open. So we are OK with that. just some clearer communication really goes a long way.

also discussed the lack of games (none yet so far, only two tourneys left on schedule, DD can only play on sunday on first one due to family commitments), he said they are trying, but it is tough, and several teams have backed out several times on friendlies. and a couple of tournaments cut our age bracket due to lack of teams. still kind of frustrated, but will stick with it for now. DD also made rec AS, and we have decided that AS will be prioity over TB until As is over. at least she will get a guaranteed two games with AS, and this rec AS would certainly outclass her TB team.
 
May 6, 2015
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further update, team played their first tournament this weekend. DD was initially not going to go Saturday, family event that was indicated to team a long time ago, but Friday night at practice, we find out a girl quit (coach called parents because they had missed a couple of practices, and parents said after consideration TB was not for their daughter, to me a) you do not just stop showing up, you let the coach know and b) you do not do that two nights before a tournament), leaving team with only 10 on roster, so no DD meant they would be taking only 9 (coach kept roster small to increase PT for all the girls, and I can understand even if not agree with it). so coach and DW and I all talked to DD, and she said she would miss family event to help team (initial decision not to play was hers, not ours).

so coach picked her up in the wee hours (ie before 6 aM) Sat. we got a few text updates during day, team got crushed every game. apparently DD played OK, but had to be pulled from circle one game she pitched, too many hit batters (I will take brunt of this, in rec and when we practice, I tell her I do not care about hit batters, as for a while this was her big bugaboo, afraid to hit batters, so was slowing way down and reaching). laid down a good bunt one game, put ball in play another game, but got thrown out. one game score was 27-1. I am not certain how many at bats she had. texts from other parents indicated on the whole, girls looking at way to many strikes.

Sunday, 9 AM game, we get there 8 AM. still looking at a lot of strikes at the plate as a team. they lost by mercy rule in 2 and 1/2 innings. DD had one AB, hit sharp ground ball to 2B, got RBI (only run team scored), but thrown out. in field, played 3B, had a couple of errors (throw on steal got under her glove, ground ball off edge of her glove bounced a couple steps away from her (SS picked up, but too late for throw), and on a throw home, she pulled string and put it over catchers head. but that was about par for the course for the team. P played really well, albeit was not throwing a lot of strikes, but enough to make them swing, and fielded and made outs at 1B a couple of times.

parents (and apparently one coach, got warning from HPU) were chirping about calls. balls and strikes mostly, and one call where our baserunner attempted to steal second, I agree she got under tag, but I have learned not to sit there and chirp about it (as both parent and coach)

after game, coaches were talking about how girls have to work harder, they see the play needed to compete at this level, etc. talked about how they have been too lenient about missing practices (coach had previously said if you have rec game, go to that rather than TB practice). how coaches are committing time, parents money and time, etc, and girls need to step up. not yelling, but fairly stern. DW and I both felt it not appropriate for the moment. fine if you want to mention specific things to be worked on from seeing the games, but this was just basically a roundabout way of saying you are not good enough, and it is because you do not practice enough. basically, I think coaches felt a little embarrassed and frsutrated. main issue is really there is just not enough talent on the team, after the 6th girls or so, really drops off.

We talked in car on way home:

a-told DD not to hold back ever on a throw. this is travel, not rec. all girls wear masks (team rule), and should all be able to catch. If you pull string, and throw is inaccurate, coaches see a bad throw. if you throw it hard on fairly on target (ie reachable), and it is missed, coach will see a good throw and a missed catch. make them see you making good plays.

b-sh is probably going to still miss practices, but we will deal with it on case by case basis. she is playing rec AS, and honestly we are probably going to prioritize these practices (and games) over TB at this point. rec AS coach ran a pretty good practice Saturday night (the first for the AS team), I think helped take away sting of getting thumped in her tournament for DD. and honestly, this rec AS team would probably also soundly beat her TB team. they actually have decent shot at districts. If they impose a penalty for this, so be it but not certain what it could be. PT is not going to change, because they have only 11, and they honestly need DD on field (not wearing Dad goggles here, it is clear she is one of top 2 or 3 girls on the team, and big drop off after the top 5 or 6).

c-when coaches address a team as a whole like that, as a player, you have to listen, HONESTLY judge if what they are talking about applies to you, and if it does not, let it roll off your back; if it does, take it to heart and improve.

I will NOT let these coaches question my DDs commitment to the team or sport. Would I like to see her work a little more outside of organized team activities, yes, but she is also 10u, playing rec ball (priority two during reg season, top for AS), guest playing and practicing with travel soccer team (lowest priority, this is now over), and today (first day of summer vacation) is starting practices with her summer swim team (little conflict with softball, as practices are AM, two blocks from our house). In my discussion with head of organization, he even said at this age they should still be doing different sports, to early to specialize. even with all this, she has missed about 7 practices since we moved outside (april), 1 she was sick, 1 was Memorial Day, and the rest for rec games. she is not sitting home playing on an ipad or watching TV.

will see what happens. TB and AS team both have practice tonight, praying for rain (this would cancel AS practice, TB moves inside to warehouse set up for hitting practice with several stations)! DW and I are both wondering what is going to happen the first time we tell HC that DD is missing TB practice for AS practice.
 
May 15, 2015
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I will NOT let these coaches question my DDs commitment to the team or sport. Would I like to see her work a little more outside of organized team activities, yes, but she is also 10u, playing rec ball (priority two during reg season, top for AS), guest playing and practicing with travel soccer team (lowest priority, this is now over), and today (first day of summer vacation) is starting practices with her summer swim team (little conflict with softball, as practices are AM, two blocks from our house). In my discussion with head of organization, he even said at this age they should still be doing different sports, to early to specialize. even with all this, she has missed about 7 practices since we moved outside (april), 1 she was sick, 1 was Memorial Day, and the rest for rec games. she is not sitting home playing on an ipad or watching TV.

will see what happens. TB and AS team both have practice tonight, praying for rain (this would cancel AS practice, TB moves inside to warehouse set up for hitting practice with several stations)! DW and I are both wondering what is going to happen the first time we tell HC that DD is missing TB practice for AS practice.

I find your first sentence and the rest of what you've said in the paragraph to be at complete odds with one another. You sound about as uncommitted as a parent can get in every post in this thread. Maybe I'm just reading it wrong, but you did ask the question so you'll forgive me for disagreeing with your position....


Dave
 
May 6, 2015
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I find your first sentence and the rest of what you've said in the paragraph to be at complete odds with one another. You sound about as uncommitted as a parent can get in every post in this thread. Maybe I'm just reading it wrong, but you did ask the question so you'll forgive me for disagreeing with your position....


Dave

kinda puzzling

we let the coaches know as soon as they announced tournament schedule that DD was not available that Saturday, major life event for older DS (given time of year you can probably guess), and we left decision up to her, she said she wanted to attend this event. then, when it was explained a few nights before tournament to DD the bind the team was in with the other player quitting, DD said, OK, I really wanted to attend family function, but I will come to Saturday to help team out. NO way DW or I could attend, again, major life event for DS, but we had her ready for coach to pick up very early Sat AM. DD was also already sacrificing on Sunday a trip to boardwalk and amusement piers at the beach, to come play Sunday for the team. Other than this tournament, we committed to the other three tournaments the team was planning on. one was canceled due to rain, the other the coach pulled out of because of lack of teams at our level,and fourth is a month away. no friendlies / scrimmages that were discussed ever materialized. DD has been at all practices except when DD had swim meets, rec softball games, was ill, and the one practice on Memorial Day. If she does not have travel practice, or rec game or practice, or soccer, (or swim in the winter) we generally get outside nearly every day (weather permitting) and work on something (either pitching, fielding, occasionally we go to cage, or just having a catch). Not certain how much more commitment a 10u player (or parents) is supposed to give. I also told the coach if during practices you need any help, always willing, whatever was needed (soft toss, pop flies, etc.). I even help schlep the gear from coaches car nearly every practice (we are normally early), pull plugs and insert bases (or vice versa at end).

yes, we are examining what is happening with the team, and have had a discussion (not arguments, good discussion) with head of org, because we are not altogether satisfied with the way things are going. We want to make certain DD is in the best possible environment for her. but we will not pull DD or allow her to quit during the middle of the season (unless there was some major type of incident), she will follow through on the commitment, and we will do what we have to to make certain she keeps the commitment as much as possible.

This is supposed to be about the girls, not the coaches. my responsibility as a parent is to help DD get the most out of whatever situation she is in currently, as well as evaluate the situation/environment and if it is the best for her, and if not find a better situation for her. It is not my job to agree with everything the coaches say/do. Yes, if there is a conflict between AS and TB, DD will probably do AS, but that is because DD is most likely to get more out of whatever AS event she goes to than travel. if this makes me uncommitted to her travel team, so be it, color me uncommitted. Again, my job is to do what is best for my DD, not to sacrifice her development to show travel coach how committed we are.

I do stay very positive with DD, and tell her to listen to coaches, even if I may disagree with something they are telling her, but we do have honest discussions about practices, and this last tournament (which since I missed most of it, I really cannot comment on), what she thinks, etc. I come here to vent, saying the things I cannot say to or around DD, as well as get feedback.
 
May 15, 2015
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I never said you didn't have reason to question your own decision to join the team. It sounds like a disjointed mess quite honestly.

What I'm saying is that from a fairly "objective" standpoint (I don't know you or the team and don't have a vested interest) you don't seem "committed" to the team at all. By your own admission you are missing team functions because of family events, a second softball team she's playing on concurrently, and swim meets. You also stated you were going to forgo practices because you didn't approve of the practice venue. You clearly aren't impressed with the coaches/organization either. You/DD may indeed be committed to the sport of softball, but reading all your previous posts just doesn't lend itself to the notion that your committed to the team in question.

Again, I'm not saying you SHOULD be committed to the team...but your statement I highlighted that your commitment won't be "questioned" just seems a little absurd given all of the aforementioned. One of my pet-peeves was when girls "commit" to a team, only to have the kid show up when the parent rationalized their attendance. In my mind, committed means you're there for every practice/game unless of illness or conflict with academics. Your definition of the word is different than mine, and that's okay too. This is still America and we're all entitled to our opinions.

If you live in an area with lots of options and opportunities you can take the approach you have. In our neck of the woods, you'd find yourself without "good" team options in short order though.
 
May 6, 2015
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"missing team functions because of family events" - originally was going to miss one day of one tournament (not plural) for a once in a lifetime event for DS (DD's big brother), with plenty of notice to team. when push came to shove, and team was in a bind, she missed this event to help team out. As her parents, we could have easily said no, family comes first, and cannot go.

"a second softball team she's playing on concurrently" - travel coach told parents at beginning of spring to have girls play rec games instead of travel practice, this totaled I believe 4 or 5 missed TB practices over 10 weeks. granted, AS was not mentioned when coach gave indication to play the rec games, but given the relative quality of the practices, best decision for DD is AS over TB when there is a conflict (with games always trumping practice in either direction), she probably gets double the number of total reps in an AS practice than in TB practice. and she has not missed any TB yet because of rec AS (only one practice so far for the latter). we will be honest with coach when that time comes about why DD is missing practice. if they have an issue with it, we will understand, but it will not change our decision, and we will let the chips fall where they may. If I felt that TB practice was more productive for DD than AS practice, we would do the opposite, and again, accept the consequences (ie possibly reduced PT in AS games).

"swim meets" - missed practices for swim meets were only in winter (ie competitive swimming season), three times total, summer swim will not conflict with TB (AM practices, and we have already decided she will miss half of meets for TB practice, since they fall on same weeknights each week). Again, coach indicated early on (and discussions with head of org back it up), they support girls at this age playing several different sports, and would work with them, as long as softball was focus in spring (which it is).

"forgo practices because you didn't approve of the practice venue" - not that we did not approve of venue, we had issues with not being allowed in the facility (ie closed practices for 9 yr old girls). this was straightened out when head of the org clarified it for us (rollup door would be open, and viewing area established by the cold weather months, vs text from coach that parents are not invited inside the facility). she did not miss a single practice because of this (they generally only practice there when weather precludes outdoor practice, or when they have not been inside to work on hitting in a couple of weeks).
 
May 15, 2015
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The following are your words, not mine....

- other things I am not happy about:
- we probably are going to look for something different
- too much standing and watching
- if I had known this was how it was going to be once they moved outside, would have looked for alternate situations
- We have already informed coach that DD is not available on Sat for tourney, but is Sunday, and Friday will probably be busy for us as well
- just might accelerate what we have pretty much decided, that we will find other options in fall/winter
- we have decided that AS will be prioity over TB until As is over.
- main issue is really there is just not enough talent on the team


I just cherry-picked a few of the highlights. I'd also point out each of these statements was in a separate posts, spanning multiple days. You listed a couple of pages worth of things about the team you didn't approve of and have a myriad of "reasons" for missing team-related events. Forgive me if I don't see any of that as being "committed" to the team in question.

I'm not arguing the team is one I'd want my own DD on. I'm just saying the original statement you made that you will "NOT let these coaches question my DDs commitment to the team or sport" seems to be completely at odds with everything else you've had to say about the team you now proclaim you are committed to.

You certainly don't have to convince me of anything....I'm not your DD's coach. My assumption from your original post was that you were looking for feedback from others on this site about how they felt about this situation given the information you provided. If you just wanted folks to agree with your position, then please forgive me for interjecting my thoughts.

Either way, your mind seems made up so i'll bow out of this discussion and wish you best of luck in your pursuits.
 
Nov 29, 2009
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Welcome to the growing pains of a 1st yer travel softball team. There is usually a large jump from rec to TB. Even from rec all-stars to TB.

Everyone is is expecting too much from the girls and coaches. And the coach is right about needing to work. I would guess the majority of the girls on the team are playing other sports and have other activities during the week with SB coming in a distant 3rd or 4th. Also, the parents need to understand there is a bigger time commitment with TB. You can't have a team of "Practice Players" on the roster. Those are players who only work at team practices.
 
May 6, 2015
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The following are your words, not mine....

- other things I am not happy about:
- we probably are going to look for something different
- too much standing and watching
- if I had known this was how it was going to be once they moved outside, would have looked for alternate situations
- We have already informed coach that DD is not available on Sat for tourney, but is Sunday, and Friday will probably be busy for us as well
- just might accelerate what we have pretty much decided, that we will find other options in fall/winter
- we have decided that AS will be prioity over TB until As is over.
- main issue is really there is just not enough talent on the team


I just cherry-picked a few of the highlights. I'd also point out each of these statements was in a separate posts, spanning multiple days. You listed a couple of pages worth of things about the team you didn't approve of and have a myriad of "reasons" for missing team-related events. Forgive me if I don't see any of that as being "committed" to the team in question.

I'm not arguing the team is one I'd want my own DD on. I'm just saying the original statement you made that you will "NOT let these coaches question my DDs commitment to the team or sport" seems to be completely at odds with everything else you've had to say about the team you now proclaim you are committed to.

You certainly don't have to convince me of anything....I'm not your DD's coach. My assumption from your original post was that you were looking for feedback from others on this site about how they felt about this situation given the information you provided. If you just wanted folks to agree with your position, then please forgive me for interjecting my thoughts.

Either way, your mind seems made up so i'll bow out of this discussion and wish you best of luck in your pursuits.

I guess if you are saying are we committed to this team for the long haul (ie beyond this season), and going to stick here until they figure it out, that is correct, we are not "committed" for the long term (ie beyond this season). DD is only 10u for a short while, and I already felt like this season has been a "lost" one for her (we had expectations, not as far as how good the TB team would be, but about TB pushing DD more, progressing more, playing more softball, and with other girls who can catch and throw, which was her primary reason for wanting to play TB). But she will play out the season, and get to as many practices as possible and the one remaining tourney (and possibly friendlies, but friendlies always seem to be talked about but don't happen).



and I do not see how discussing problems I see is lack of commitment. It is simply observations of what I see. and I did not discuss these things other than with DW, and more recently with a couple of other adults (with no connection to this team), ie some colleauges of mine. I am not griping on the sidelines with other parents, muttering to myself in the bleachers, or anything like that. I use DFP for that ;)

as far as missing team related activities, the only ones she ended up missing were practices by instruction of the HC (ie for rec games) and Memorial Day practice (OD BBQ at the pool). she played in the tournament we initially said she was not available for (a personal sacrifice on her part, that is what I meant by her commitment, and not letting coaches question it. she could have easily said no, the event for my big brother is more important). and DD probably puts in more work outside of practice than all but one other girl on the team (DD of AC). she does not pester the coaches to be allowed to practice/play in certain positions, or complain about heat or running, like some of the other girls. They also pushed spirit gear really hard (fundraiser), and I am glad we did not bite and invest a lot of money there, maybe if we had committed more and bought t shirts, hats, etc. we would be more committed (sorry, sarcasm creeping in there).

The feedback I was looking for was did this sound like a good situation to others, and I appreciate the feedback (including yours), which mostly indicated that this was not a situation that is going to be best for my DD. Honestly, in hindsight, if we considered only DDs best interests, we should have showed even less commitment to this team, and walked away earlier. but time and time again, we decided to remain, mostly because we made a commitment, and DD for the most part enjoyed the other girls, and because we hoped to see improvement in the coaching/practices with experience. I guess the coaches expect the girls to get better, but do not need to examine what they are doing and try to improve.
 

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