Role of Parents?

Sparky Guy said:

It's a two-way street. Passed on girls because of a parent.

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Have seen many a college do the same thing. The role of a coach vs a parent is not an all or nothing proposition. Both need to respect the other and find a balance that benefits the specific player. It is not one size fits all.

When the coach defines the role of the parent, the parent the role of the coach, ultimately they will both fail the player.

Apparently, there is a petition circulating around on social media (I don't have social media.) wanting me to be fired since I am a know it all coach. If I can find out how to link it, you all can sign it. LOL

there is a petition circulating around on social media (I don't have social media.) wanting me to be fired since I am a know it all coach

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Where's that petition......

riseball said:

Have seen many a college do the same thing. The role of a coach vs a parent is not an all or nothing proposition. Both need to respect the other and find a balance that benefits the specific player. It is not one size fits all.

When the coach defines the role of the parent, the parent the role of the coach, ultimately they will both fail the player.

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^^^ x 1000.

Having lived on both sides of this equation, I can say that without a doubt the biggest "issues" we ever had with players started with their parents. That said, we know and acknowledge up front the huge role that a parent has to play in their daughter's development. We are an 18U team with all college-bound players, and you cannot get to that level without strong parental involvement.

The best parents are there to support and encourage (and finance, I guess) their daughter's journey. The Parent-Coach-Player triad is just like any other 3-legged stool...if one of the legs is faulty, the stool will eventually crash down.

I have no problem with coaches.... as long as they are right!

You guys make it all sound so black and white. It's not. I have no problem with not wanting a team to focus on individual stats.

here's the flip side of parent instruction gone wrong. I am the pitching coach for our entire TB organization. I learned a lot from this site and incorporate and for that i am thankful. We dont do wrist flips, EVER. I agree that its a waste. Our girls all know this. One dad requires his daughter to do them. i asked him why and he said "that's how we warm up" and i explained why i didnt like them. he went into a Michael White teaches this way, which i thought was funny.

So if i follow your dad knows best logic using an example that i know this board is huge into no wrist flips he has completely undermined my authority as her coach. I told him she's yours, you spear head her teaching. Everyone that we have transitioned to IR has jumped 5-8 mph at last testing. 2 dads resisted and neither girl gained any velocity in the offseason. the best was when the 1 dad said the gun must be broken.

Now i am going to completely contradict myself. DD school team teaches wrist flips and is still HE. I did talk to her coach prior to offseason workouts and told him i was changing both my girls to IR. He still starts warmups with wrist flips. My girls dont do them. Rather they do the lock it drill and the coach doesnt say anything. Funny thing is the assistant coaches daughter is now doing the lock it drill as well.

its the hardest role of any parent to just sit in the crowd and cheer.

Whats the purpose of stats for parents? Don't get me wrong my wife kept book on every game for many years on gamechanger and I loved to go over all the metrics and got all lathered up over OPS and walk to strike out ratios...

But whats the purpose of stats to you? I am of the belief that half the time (or half the parents) parents are using statistics to compare their dd to other girls so they can get worked up over perceived slights. My dd should be batting at the top of the order, my dd should be a captain because she is better then Suzy, my dd should be starting at her favorite position because she is hitting so much better then Sara...

The only time I brought up stats to my kid was to talk her off a ledge. When she was thinking she was sucking for some reason, and I could say all year you average 62% first pitch strikes and last week you maintained that... I never updated her on her personal stats, it felt counterproductive to me.

to paraphrase an old saying. Statistics to sports parents are often like a lamp post to a drunk. Used for support and not illumination.

chinamigarden said:

...Statistics to sports parents are often like a lamp post to a drunk. Used for support and not illumination.

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Yeah, I am definitely using that one!

Statistics play an important role in identifying trends or underlying patterns of behavior so by all means discuss them with your daughter.

It's not the only tool in the tool box so it shouldn't be used exclusively or not used at all.

Parents sometimes do more damage focusing on BA than they realize... There are plenty of other stats to evaluate that might tell a different story and constantly harping on BA can shake a batter's confidence... Personally, I do not want a hitter stepping into the box thinking about their BA, not striking out, not getting out because more times than not it is only going to encourage the hitter to be a "safe" hitter - simply putting the ball in play and not hitting to their full potential...

I do not agree with a HC telling a parent "do not discuss this or that" but at the same time, I can see where they might be coming from in that aspect... As far as technique is concerned, unless the HC has coached that player for several years, the parent probably knows more about what their DD is doing wrong as far as technique, especially if they are paying for hitting lessons...

As others have pointed out, it is a fine line between parent and HC... As a hitting instructor, I tend to get caught in the middle as much or more than the player... The difference is, I am a grown man and the player is still a young lady developing her game...