What to do when your daughter loses interest?

It seems my daughter is going through a phase where she has lost some interest in the game. However you would never say it when you see her play and practice, she is one of the hardest workers on the team and really enjoys herself when on the field. The problem is at home, she always seems unhappy when there is a practice, until she actually gets at the practice. And then when practice is done I ask her how it was, she mumbles “ok”, when clearly you can see she’s actually enjoying herself….. STUBBORN .

I think the problem stems from just being plain lazy (a lot of time in front of the computer) and maybe a different group of friends at school who have no interest in the game. I want to help her find a way to be motivated again. Had anybody else ever gone through this with their kid before, any tips or advice?

Thanks

julray said:

It seems my daughter is going through a phase where she has lost some interest in the game. However you would never say it when you see her play and practice, she is one of the hardest workers on the team and really enjoys herself when on the field. The problem is at home, she always seems unhappy when there is a practice, until she actually gets at the practice. And then when practice is done I ask her how it was, she mumbles “ok”, when clearly you can see she’s actually enjoying herself….. STUBBORN .

I think the problem stems from just being plain lazy (a lot of time in front of the computer) and maybe a different group of friends at school who have no interest in the game. I want to help her find a way to be motivated again. Had anybody else ever gone through this with their kid before, any tips or advice?

Thanks

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I could've written this exact thing myself. 8th grader. 13u. It's so frustrating. So frustrating.


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dfp01 said:

I could've written this exact thing myself. 8th grader. 13u. It's so frustrating. So frustrating.


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7th grader in my case.. I know it would be a very bad decision on her part to step away from game, she loves it, and I really don't believe she knows how much she does and is definitely not mature enough to make that decision. Now if she was on the field and looked miserable, that would be a different story.

Where are you seeing the declining interest? Is it that she doesn't want to practice on her own as much?

Also, why is her declining interest a concern? Do you fear she'll drop out and do nothing? Or that she won't be as good as she could've been?

CoogansBluff said:

Where are you seeing the declining interest? Is it that she doesn't want to practice on her own as much?

Also, why is her declining interest a concern? Do you fear she'll drop out and do nothing? Or that she won't be as good as she could've been?

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Where are you seeing the declining interest? Is it that she doesn't want to practice on her own as much?
Practice period, on her own, or scheduled team practices. But like I mentioned above, it's only like that until she gets on the field, then she really seems to enjoy herself and works really hard.

Also, why is her declining interest a concern? Do you fear she'll drop out and do nothing? Or that she won't be as good as she could've been?
Because I believe it's "fake news"... no seriously, I don't think her interest is declining at all, she just seems to be going through a weird phase where she doesn't want to do much of anything except sit around.... until she actually gets up. But this is still a concern because it's a negative attribute in her attitude towards the game. I fear she might drop out for the wrong reasons, that's my biggest fear. In regard to your last question, she'll always be more than good enough for me. but I don't want her to look back on things with regret. It's a confrustrating situation right now, to push or not to push, not sure. Seems to me she needs a nudge to get her of her backside, because once she is up and moving she really enjoys herself. I was hoping she would make that conclusion and take the negativity out of the situation. I want this to be a positive experience for her.

julray said:

It seems my daughter is going through a phase where she has lost some interest in the game. However you would never say it when you see her play and practice, she is one of the hardest workers on the team and really enjoys herself when on the field. The problem is at home, she always seems unhappy when there is a practice, until she actually gets at the practice. And then when practice is done I ask her how it was, she mumbles “ok”, when clearly you can see she’s actually enjoying herself….. STUBBORN .

I think the problem stems from just being plain lazy (a lot of time in front of the computer) and maybe a different group of friends at school who have no interest in the game. I want to help her find a way to be motivated again. Had anybody else ever gone through this with their kid before, any tips or advice?

Thanks

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Sounds like she is being a teenager. She sees that you want her to be excited about something so she will do the opposite. The fact that she actually enjoys playing is the most important thing.
If you want to risk it, call her bluff. Tell her she can stop playing after the season if that is what she wants...

Sounds like she is being a teenager. She sees that you want her to be excited about something so she will do the opposite

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Bingo!

middle school is tough- a lot of change and social status rears its ugly head.
support her through it but you may let her know that you do not want to be pushing her into something if she doesn't want to go there.
High school could be more of the same. our HS team is not a "team", it is a couple of cliques and the coaches have nowhere near the control they think they do.

The teenager plague spreads quickly among our youth today. Cell phones, instagram and snapchat have a lot to do with it. Remember we all go thru it.

My DD comes home after every practice and every game saying how bad it was, she dislikes some of the coaches etc. I told her to quit mid season, she said no. I asked her if she was playing next year after last nights game, she said "Yeah". Ugh, 16 year olds....

We have gone through a bit of that. Ours has generally been related to personality clashes with coaches that she would dread to see, but then once she got there and the endorphins start pumping and she works with the team she is great. But mine is definitely an introvert and stresses about the interactions until she gets there and gets going. She is also a bit of a perfectionist so that can be a struggle in team sports - nothing is going to be perfect.

I do push mine a bit because I see the same things you do most of the time - she comes home energized, I mostly see her having a lot of fun on the field and enjoying much more than she complains about. I feel like between her and me we'll figure out when it's time for me to stop encouraging her to stick with it.

In relationship to HS ball I told her we want her to commit to two years and if she wants to quit we'll support that decision. But as a pitcher in the shadow of an ace senior she was put in JV to get a lot of pitching time and JV is bad rec ball. So I figured one year at varsity before we make any major decisions. We just keep taking it one season at a time and reassessing.