What's the classy way to leave an org?

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Apr 5, 2017
6
0
For many reasons, our family has collectively agreed that DD needs to leave her current org. We are sticking out the season because that's her commitment but after the last tournament, we will be cutting ties and going back to the tryout circuit. We fully know that after we leave our name will be mud because that's how the powers that be in this org rolls, but rumblings within the team indicate that many players and parents who are in this with us will understand that we are leaving for the right reasons.

So, how do you "break up" with an organization in a classy way? We'd like to do this in person but I'm concerned if we get into the "whys" of it, the discussion will get ugly. I also get the impression that the powers will not be surprised if we leave. We as a family realize that softball is a small world and we need to tread lightly.
 
Oct 11, 2010
8,337
113
Chicago, IL
Unless you really trust someone to keep quite I would not go into the why's.

If you feel you need to say something, DD enjoyed playing with you and we all enjoyed the opportunity to play with your organization.

Harder part is not bad mouthing them after you leave. Try to control that part of it.
 
May 7, 2008
8,506
48
Tucson
Then, it might be better to just tell them that this isn't a good fit and leave now. I see too many families stick it out and the girl turns sour on softball.
If you don't want to talk to the coach in person, at least telephone.
 

Me_and_my_big_mouth

witty softball quote
Sep 11, 2014
437
18
Pacific NW
For many reasons, our family has collectively agreed that DD needs to leave her current org. We are sticking out the season because that's her commitment but after the last tournament, we will be cutting ties and going back to the tryout circuit. We fully know that after we leave our name will be mud because that's how the powers that be in this org rolls, but rumblings within the team indicate that many players and parents who are in this with us will understand that we are leaving for the right reasons.

So, how do you "break up" with an organization in a classy way? We'd like to do this in person but I'm concerned if we get into the "whys" of it, the discussion will get ugly. I also get the impression that the powers will not be surprised if we leave. We as a family realize that softball is a small world and we need to tread lightly.
Ok I'm a cynic here - but hear me out. I get so frustrated at how personally good families take this stuff. It creates emotional turmoil and stress for the girls.

It has been my experience that leaving a team is a lot like letting someone go; be direct and state facts. Anything after that is just noise and filler.

Too often, orgs and/or coaches seem to forget that we - families - are the consumers in this situation. As such, we have the right (and actually, the obligation) to do whatever we see fit for our family. Reasons can be many - but are largely unnecessary to give, because the org will only hear, "You are losing our dues and our player." Unless your daughter is a total stud, they're probably even hearing it in that exact order - and before you can even launch into, "It's not you, it's me..." they are already flipping through their mental contact list and working on a replacement.

In 4-6 years, you and your family will be a distant memory to them and the org marches on. Travel/club ball is big business. The world of children's activities and club sports in general are full of savvy people who know how to speak to the emotions of parents. I will think twice before opening my wallet for a pair of shoes for myself that aren't on sale; but I'll happily shell out premium money for something I see as helping my child have a better life. You have to realize that the powers that be in these orgs know that, and they know how to exploit that. It's partially why they have created such successful programs. It isn't wrong or shady; it's just business and sales. We parents eat that stuff up with a spoon and they know it. When you decide to clear the plate, they'll think about you for 5 minutes, and they'll move on. None of us (Ok, you families with girls throwing 70 or hitting multiple HR are the Sasquatches of this story) are as special to them as we think we are.

They'll put themselves first. I suggest you do the same and make no apologies.
 
Jun 12, 2015
3,848
83
You don't have to give a lot of details about why if you don't want to. You've found what you think will be a better fit for your DD. It's been a great run, you wish them lots of luck in the future. I think if you can stay matter of fact and keep the emotions mostly under wraps, it's much easier. We definitely learned that the hard way ourselves.
 
Mar 29, 2017
155
18
We left a team this season after fall. I told the HC that while we liked the players and coaches, we didn't think it was a good fit for us at the time. I was even an AC on the team.

HC told me to call if we ever wanted to guest play with them.
 
Jul 14, 2010
150
18
Model what you want to teach your kids. You've started well by teaching that you honor a season commitment and I hope that what Amy said doesn't happen. I remembering making the call and the coach answering the phone 'you better not be calling to tell me DD is leaving'. Tough conversation but he's still rooting for my DD's success in college ball. There's so many variables - staying with abusive coaching doesn't teach our DDs the right thing either. Wishing you much wisdom!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Apr 5, 2017
6
0
Thankfully I don't think we are going to be in a position where DD is turned off from softball. She has come to the realization - although we as her parents have done so earlier this year - that the org is not the best fit for her long term goals. This is the result of empty promises from the org that do not get fulfilled. DD has now put 2 and 2 together and realized that this is a pattern and not likely to change. For the time being, she is enjoying the season with her teammates and will miss them, but she is growing up and wants to move on to a more established org with more extensive travel and opportunities to be in prestigious showcases down the line. These orgs have already expressed interest in DD. Now we just have to figure out how far we are willing to travel for practices...
 
May 24, 2013
12,461
113
So Cal
Classy way:
- Thank the coach(es) for their time and effort with your DD.
- Keep the "why" as simple as you can - "We feel it's time for us to move on".
- Wish them well for the future.

Not-classy way:
- Talk crap about the coaches to other parents during what you know will be your DD's final game.
- Pull your DD off the team in the middle of a tournament.
- Write a long letter/email to the HC blasting every member of the coaching staff, and insulting players.

Be classy.
 
Dec 2, 2013
3,409
113
Texas
Kids leaving organizations happen every day. But NEVER burn bridges. Goes for anything that you do. Even if you want to pour the gasoline, light the match and lock the door on the way out. The Softball community is very small especially as you age up. Everyone knows everyone. Your DD might be playing with some of the very same teammates in a year or so. Keep the email or conversation cool and take the emotion out of it. It's business not personal. You are the consumer and are taking your business down the street. In my real life business, I lose customers all the time usually at no fault of my own. I always leave the door open for them to come back if something changes.

Just as grcsftbll said. It's been a great run and wish them luck. Because you will face this team again and you will see the parents again. The parents will come to you to find out what happened and then if you feel inclined you can share what you think is appropriate, but be careful with the information if it's negative. You can always go with: it was time for a change, smile and offer them something out of your cooler.

Good luck and this most likely won't be the last time you make a change.
 

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