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Thread: HS team attendance and planned events/appointments

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    Softball Junkie Phathead's Avatar
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    Default HS team attendance and planned events/appointments

    Wasn't sure we're to ask this as I would like both HS coaches and parents input. I'm going to list some scenerios and see how both parties feel about it. Situation is HS season runs roughly 2 and 1/2 months pract. And games. These will fall during SB season.
    1. Those appointments that are sceduled way out. Dentist, orthodontist, specialist doctors etc. and aren't easy to move so you sched 4 to 6 month out back in October on wed knowing games aren't played on weds only practice.
    2. Your looking at school calendar and plan a trip for spring break, or Easter weekend knowing school is out. You don't have a SB schedule, it's not out yet but waiting later will result in not being able to book rooms, flights etc.
    3. Prom season, girls have bought dresses and made hair, makeup, etc.appointments , rainouts are pushing make ups into very small window.

    DD's coach on these.
    1. DD coach doesn't want them to miss period so a Dr appoint of this type will result in running and one game on bench.
    2. Coach scheduled tourny on these and expects players there, see #1.
    3. Don't care about the appts and quiet frankly if needed expects you to be late to prom if needed to play early game. Just short of expecting girls to skip prom.

    This parents take
    1. Sorry but that don't cut it. I did best I could and tried to not interfere with games. Why punish my child for something that has to be attended to and we both are involved and have to attend. No I'm not going to scedule during the day and have her miss classes or me work by using vac. Edit. There needs to be an attendance policy but needs to workable not zero tolerance.
    2. I work and have earned my vac time and the seniority to scedule it when I want. I'm quickly approaching the days of my child not going on the family vacations and want to share the last few we have. She will be in college and or working with little vacation time to work with. So dont schedule games, practice they could use a break.
    3. These young ladies have on avg only 2 or 3 to attend in their life time. They already made these appointments later to not miss practice or games. Not their fault the weather caused havoc. For some this is a very important event.

    In summary we try to accommodate the season and the coach as much as possiable. When they step on the field we loan our child to you. We know you make decesions, rules and hopefully these help to have an enjoyable and successful season. We want our child to learn responsibility and dedication. I hope you can help wit this as you will be their first boss so to speak and it's a great learning chance for life and how to handle it. But in the end its our child first and your player second. Step back aND think if any of these situations involved you and your child as a parent not a coach would you like it. For most HS teams there are very few that will continue to the nxt level and you are only getting a small stipend not a years salary. So your lively hood does not hinge on the outcome of the season and the teams record. Parents do everything possiable to avoid schedule conflicts but also enjoy these 4 yrs because after them she is a young adult and will be making her on life and you only be a smaller part of it.
    Last edited by Phathead; 04-20-2017 at 08:45 AM. Reason: Clarification

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    I can talk softball all day Snotbubbles's Avatar
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    It's ok to sit on the bench once in awhile. Go do what you have planned.

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    I can talk softball all day Anthony Vertuccio's Avatar
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    If everyone went on vacation then the team would forfeit. Doctors appointments can be made in the off season. Prom is an excusable absence. HS games are always scheduled on spring break and its not the coaches who schedule them. I cannot schedule any appointments for myself or go on vacation with my family during the season (and yes i get paid but not enough to support my family). Yes my job depends on the outcome..if I don't win I will eventually get fired
    Coach Tucci St Josephs College (Brooklyn) Assistant Head Coach and LI Surge 16U HC

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    I eat, sleep and breathe softball CoogansBluff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anthony Vertuccio View Post
    If everyone went on vacation then the team would forfeit. Doctors appointments can be made in the off season. Prom is an excusable absence. HS games are always scheduled on spring break and its not the coaches who schedule them. I cannot schedule any appointments for myself or go on vacation with my family during the season (and yes i get paid but not enough to support my family). Yes my job depends on the outcome..if I don't win I will eventually get fired
    Agreed. My DD has never missed a practice because of routine dental/doctor's appointments. It's nice to have spring break off, but that's part of the high school season if the coach chooses to play over that time. High school sports should not interfere with prom. I wouldn't make someone run for missing practice. Bench time is enough.

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    I can talk softball all day Hawkeyes's Avatar
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    1. There is no reason to miss practice for Dr.'s appointment unless its an emergency. It that case they probably cant practice accordingly. This one drove me crazy as a coach. I once had a kid(boy) miss practice for a hair cut and mom couldnt understand why that would upset me.
    2. You know when the seasons run years in advance. Schedule your vacations accordingly.
    3. The school should step in here and handle this. Coach needs to accommodate for prom as that is a school activity.

    Once you make a commitment to the team, you need to do everything you can to honor that commitment.

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    Certified softball maniac GunnerShotgun's Avatar
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    The rules for missing time listed above are pretty normal on most teams. Prom as others have pointed out is the exception.

    Using exercise for punishment is moronic unless you are in the military.

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    I can talk softball all day TMD's Avatar
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    Ultimately the coach (or school) sets the attendance/participation policy and it's up to the player/parents to either abide by it or accept the consequences. You've got to know that programs expect that they will be the priority during the season. Scheduling a dentist or doctor appointment (non emergency, naturally) during the season before you know the schedule is a risk. Some coaches may view a medical appointment as an excused absence and some may not. You need to know that beforehand.

    Our school is very up front about the consequences of unexcused absences and their impact on playing time. Spring break always has games or tournaments. If you choose to go away, you do so knowing that you will not play the first couple of games after you get back. Agree or disagree is irrelevant...it's the policy. School's around here are also very good at making sure there are no conflicts with Prom.

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    I can talk softball all day murphdog's Avatar
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    I don't schedule appointments during the season but if I have to I do it early morning and then bring her to school late with a note so it's excused.
    We go away in February because it doesn't conflict with soccer or softball and we have a week off then.
    There are never games on prom night, if you go to a prom at a different school you're out of luck. DD had to get her nails done on Monday for a Friday prom because she had games or other obligations every other night that week. There are ways to make it work. She wouldn't want to be benched for something avoidable

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    Softball Junkie Phathead's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anthony Vertuccio View Post
    If everyone went on vacation then the team would forfeit. Doctors appointments can be made in the off season. Prom is an excusable absence. HS games are always scheduled on spring break and its not the coaches who schedule them. I cannot schedule any appointments for myself or go on vacation with my family during the season (and yes i get paid but not enough to support my family). Yes my job depends on the outcome..if I don't win I will eventually get fired
    Dr appts and off.season. when is off season. Summer ball VB, BB. Dr says I want to see her in 5 months not 4 not 6.

    HS games schedule spring break. For us yr 1 last weekend TB type toury. Yr 2 nothing, yr 3 games but cancled non weather related, weekend tb type tourny both easter and and SBreak.

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    I can talk softball all day reagansdaddy's Avatar
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    Man, I am old school. I stopped coaching school sports 12 years ago. I don't think I could ever go back with this mindset.

    Here's my thoughts -

    1. You said the season only last 2 1/2 months. Schedule appointments around that. Are there emergencies? Sure, but don't expect to play when you haven't practiced. Remember, there are girls out there working while your DD isn't. It would be unfair to those girls to not get the chance to play. I'm not sure I'd personally go with missing a whole game as a policy. In football, we had the policy that if you missed a day (excused) then you didn't start that week.

    2. If the season is 2 1/2 months long then you have 9 1/2 months to schedule your vacation. If I live to be 100 years old, I will never understand why people would schedule vacations during a sports season if for no other reason than you are letting the team down if you miss. And, yes, when we were kids we sometimes didn't have a vacation because of sports.

    3. I think the coach should make accommodations for prom such as ending the day's game by noon or 1 PM. However, I don't think the coach needs to accommodate dress shopping, fittings, alterations, tuxedo shopping, make-up, hair, nails, spa day, etc. Prom has gotten completely out of control.

    Just my unpopular, I'm sure, two cents.

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