Sit-out penalties are not the end of the world, either.
I enjoyed your post, but my reaction to it is that you have a tough time accepting that someone whose competence you don't respect all that much is the one setting the rules.
HS team attendance and planned events/appointments
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Sit-out penalties are not the end of the world, either.
I enjoyed your post, but my reaction to it is that you have a tough time accepting that someone whose competence you don't respect all that much is the one setting the rules.
- Feb 12, 2014
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Absolutely. I totally understand. We didn't take a family vacation after I turned 12. My family probably will not take a non-softball/baseball vacation for many years. We plan our lives around our kids' activities and commitments. There's no value judgement in that statement. It's just the way my family chooses to do things. I don't understand why people would take a vacation during an athletic season, but hey, if that's how you want to live your life then go for it. But, also, understand that there should be playing time implications when missing practices and games that other people are attending.
- Nov 29, 2009
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The rules for missing time listed above are pretty normal on most teams. Prom as others have pointed out is the exception.
Using exercise for punishment is moronic unless you are in the military.
There should never be any games scheduled on Prom and ACT/SAT testing days. Those days are known at the start of the school year.
A coach from a powerhouse softball program mistakenly schedule a tournament on the day of prom. He used the JV team to play instead of forcing the varsity players into making a decision.
There is such a thing as taking things to an extreme.
My mother is still angry at her long deceased HS Latin teacher, because her teacher was furious my mother took 2 weeks off in 1945 to travel to San Diego to see her father off to war.
My grandfather, at the age of 34 1/2, joined the USMC in 1944 as an intelligence officer (I know, Marine Intelligence is an oxymoron). He had previously been a captain in the US Army Reserves. In 1944, his choices were take a Lt. commission in the USMC, or be drafted as a private in the Army. They drafted up to age 35 by 1944.
Early 1945, my grandfather shipped out, about 6 months before the war ended. You may think an intelligence officer wouldn't see action, but you would be wrong. He was aboard an aircraft carrier in the Battle of Okinawa, at a time when lots of kamikaze pilots sank USN aircraft carriers. In fact, he survived the war only because mechanical problems kept his ship out of battle one day, and the replacement ship sank with no survivors.
But, my mother's Latin teacher couldn't understand why a girl would travel to see her father, perhaps for the last time ever.
My mother is still angry at her long deceased HS Latin teacher, because her teacher was furious my mother took 2 weeks off in 1945 to travel to San Diego to see her father off to war.
My grandfather, at the age of 34 1/2, joined the USMC in 1944 as an intelligence officer (I know, Marine Intelligence is an oxymoron). He had previously been a captain in the US Army Reserves. In 1944, his choices were take a Lt. commission in the USMC, or be drafted as a private in the Army. They drafted up to age 35 by 1944.
Early 1945, my grandfather shipped out, about 6 months before the war ended. You may think an intelligence officer wouldn't see action, but you would be wrong. He was aboard an aircraft carrier in the Battle of Okinawa, at a time when lots of kamikaze pilots sank USN aircraft carriers. In fact, he survived the war only because mechanical problems kept his ship out of battle one day, and the replacement ship sank with no survivors.
But, my mother's Latin teacher couldn't understand why a girl would travel to see her father, perhaps for the last time ever.
- Nov 18, 2013
- 2,258
- 113
Had lots of responses and hope they provided some food for thought. Now some disclosures
1. DD did have to run for her absence and sit. While I thought BS I never said anything, their team their rules. I ran my tb teams with my rules.
2. Yes I have a streak of rebellion against authority. None the less I have been at the same mfg. company for over twenty five yrs. We employee over 20,000 world wide and have went from hourly operater to lower mngt during those yrs. I'm very much cause / effect data oriented.
3. I played sports In hs and was very competive. Made highlight reel every yr for some vicious hits. I hated to lose.
4. Something changed with me concerning sports around 35. Playing rec slow pitch with some guys. Some like me could play and knew the game. Some on my team couldn't catch colds. Some of the " players" started complaing about the less gifted on our team. I realized that this is fun and take it for that and enjoy. Lose no money out of pocket, win no money going to pocket.
5. I've seen some great coaches work with DD and some total idiots. I stayed out of it and worked with her on our time. Yes Im very protective of pitching mechanics as I have a butt load of money tied up.
6. DD over yrs went from wantING to play college ball to would rather go into medical without demands of ball. If anyone wants to drink a beverge and debate why give me a call
7. With all this I just wanted to create some thought. In TB you can join a team with your goals in mind. HS ball is mixed bag of goals between players and coaches and AD's. So coaches keep this mind when rule making and placing impotrance of certain aspects. Parents keep this in mind when you read the rules they are walking a line.
8. Surgery DD had put some perspective on things. She is fine problem fixed zero effects. Coaches Rember parents perspective is different than yours and that's their child. Mama and papa bears are there.
9. Coaches who do it right thank you. Other coachs find another hobby. Parents who do it right thank you and maybe you should look into coaching one day. Rose colored glasses, helicopter parents, drink a beer and set in the outfield.
Easy solution. Play in rec leagues or in-house programs where it doesn’t affect the team if players miss practice. There’s nothing wrong with playing for fun and not caring about the score or wins and losses. HS sports are geared more toward participation than travel programs, but there’s still an expectation of competitiveness. To achieve that kids need to be at games and practices. It’s short workout and missing less than 5% of the season. I see nothing harsh in having something like that to motivate the girls to always be there.
A LOT of this is the coaches need to make things clear to the students WAY in advance.
This year the coaches at my DD 3's HS softball program could no longer make the girls who went away on spring break sit out games, because so many had missed for spring break. (Also, DD 3 is the last remaining pitcher on JV, so if she sat, well, no pitcher. Hard to win any games that way.) The coaches will make much more of an effort to spread the word next year.
DS' college rowing team expects the guys to practice during spring break, and tries to schedule races during spring break.
Last year only 2 freshmen were in town, so the coach realized he needed to tell the kids earlier.
Last fall, there were 6 new freshmen. Coach made sure they would all be in town for spring break.
BUT, 6 more freshmen joined the team over the winter and early spring.
Spring break is this week for that college, and they have 6 freshmen in town. They have a race this coming Saturday. They will have enough for a freshman 4 boat, but not a freshman 8 boat for their scrimmage against Wisconsin.
(Sorry, DD 3, I won't go to your double header in Beloit. The scrimmage is at Devil's Lake, one of the most beautiful state parks in the US. The DH is in Beloit, which is not.)
This year the coaches at my DD 3's HS softball program could no longer make the girls who went away on spring break sit out games, because so many had missed for spring break. (Also, DD 3 is the last remaining pitcher on JV, so if she sat, well, no pitcher. Hard to win any games that way.) The coaches will make much more of an effort to spread the word next year.
DS' college rowing team expects the guys to practice during spring break, and tries to schedule races during spring break.
Last year only 2 freshmen were in town, so the coach realized he needed to tell the kids earlier.
Last fall, there were 6 new freshmen. Coach made sure they would all be in town for spring break.
BUT, 6 more freshmen joined the team over the winter and early spring.
Spring break is this week for that college, and they have 6 freshmen in town. They have a race this coming Saturday. They will have enough for a freshman 4 boat, but not a freshman 8 boat for their scrimmage against Wisconsin.
(Sorry, DD 3, I won't go to your double header in Beloit. The scrimmage is at Devil's Lake, one of the most beautiful state parks in the US. The DH is in Beloit, which is not.)
Phathead --
I can understand about your DD.
My DD 1 had a lot of talent in softball, possible lower D-I, at least D-II level talent, but she had a rec league mentality. She is now a freshman pre-med. Instead of playing ball or partying, she studies, a lot. This summer she will volunteer at a Tibetan hospital in India, along with her roommate, another pre-med who was born in that town.
DD 3 has very conflicting desires. She is a much more serious player than her sister ever was, but she also wants to head into the medical professions, which would limit what sort of school in which she could play softball. She wants to do both, but realizes she may have to give up competitive softball for her studies.
I can understand about your DD.
My DD 1 had a lot of talent in softball, possible lower D-I, at least D-II level talent, but she had a rec league mentality. She is now a freshman pre-med. Instead of playing ball or partying, she studies, a lot. This summer she will volunteer at a Tibetan hospital in India, along with her roommate, another pre-med who was born in that town.
DD 3 has very conflicting desires. She is a much more serious player than her sister ever was, but she also wants to head into the medical professions, which would limit what sort of school in which she could play softball. She wants to do both, but realizes she may have to give up competitive softball for her studies.
Definitely feel this, but at the end of the day you've got to make your decision and live with the good and the bad that comes from it. Our vacations for the last 10 years have been wherever that summer's nationals were held.
I have no problem with this, as long as you recognize that softball will do the same.
Thanks and you should be proud of you DD's. That's where I think some HS coaches miss the boat. A kid can have a heck of a work ethic, put the hours in but not a nxt level desire. My DD has put way more time in thru P lessons and basement P sessions then the team will all season. Yet the coach who benifits from that time doesn't want her to miss a second of practice while the rest of the team was enjoying some down time if not involved in another sport. I just wanted to bring this up so more of coaches and parents can see the other side. Not that MNDAD is wrong but he has his take and solution. I don't agree with it but maybe he will see the other side also. Does a HS coach want a potential #1 or #2 pitcher to play rec instead of school just because they are only playing to finish out their career for the fun of the game and not nxt level dreams.
I see what you mean.
DD 3 put in a ton of work over the off-season. Even though she was on the cross country team in the fall, she still played fall ball for one team, and went to practices and a tournament for another team. That was too much for her, so she was in a boot for a while. She went to a number of captains' practices and TB practices, plus a ton of pitching lessons in the off season. She has even been to a couple of TB practices since the season started. The only other girls on the JV team who put in a similar work load in the off season were her catcher, and another girl who is a former catcher. DD 3 put in more work than most of the girls in Varsity as well. Yes, she missed time for spring break, but that was more than just a vacation for us. It was also college hunting time, and time for the family to see a city to which we may move.
I look at DS' college rowing coach. He can be VERY demanding. DS works far harder than he did in HS, and he was on an elite team in HS (certainly one of the very top teams in the Midwest). He worked out a plan so that he practices 5-7 AM every day with the team, and also puts in a lot of extra time for strength and conditioning training. The results of that? Last June he was the only sophomore, and the only non-senior, on the boat the team sent to Nationals. It means he was a sophomore D-III student competing against the top D-I schools in the country.
OTOH, the coach realizes that there are other priorities in the students' lives. One of DS' roommates missed a lot of practices to keep from falling behind in his school work. Coach had no problem with that. Unlike DS and the other roommate, that roommate is not one of the elite rowers on the team, but he is still an important part of the team. The coach wants a commitment to the team, but he isn't anal about it. When DS was still in HS, his HS rowing coach had a chat about DS with DS' future college rowing coach. (The two of them rowed together in college, and it was an extremely honest talk). At one point they walked by, and I could overhear their conversation. They were talking about making sure DS' kept up his grades, and how academics were far more important than sports.
All I know is that coach makes sure his students have fun, and he has taken D-III rowers to the D-I Nationals 5 years in a row.
DD 3 put in a ton of work over the off-season. Even though she was on the cross country team in the fall, she still played fall ball for one team, and went to practices and a tournament for another team. That was too much for her, so she was in a boot for a while. She went to a number of captains' practices and TB practices, plus a ton of pitching lessons in the off season. She has even been to a couple of TB practices since the season started. The only other girls on the JV team who put in a similar work load in the off season were her catcher, and another girl who is a former catcher. DD 3 put in more work than most of the girls in Varsity as well. Yes, she missed time for spring break, but that was more than just a vacation for us. It was also college hunting time, and time for the family to see a city to which we may move.
I look at DS' college rowing coach. He can be VERY demanding. DS works far harder than he did in HS, and he was on an elite team in HS (certainly one of the very top teams in the Midwest). He worked out a plan so that he practices 5-7 AM every day with the team, and also puts in a lot of extra time for strength and conditioning training. The results of that? Last June he was the only sophomore, and the only non-senior, on the boat the team sent to Nationals. It means he was a sophomore D-III student competing against the top D-I schools in the country.
OTOH, the coach realizes that there are other priorities in the students' lives. One of DS' roommates missed a lot of practices to keep from falling behind in his school work. Coach had no problem with that. Unlike DS and the other roommate, that roommate is not one of the elite rowers on the team, but he is still an important part of the team. The coach wants a commitment to the team, but he isn't anal about it. When DS was still in HS, his HS rowing coach had a chat about DS with DS' future college rowing coach. (The two of them rowed together in college, and it was an extremely honest talk). At one point they walked by, and I could overhear their conversation. They were talking about making sure DS' kept up his grades, and how academics were far more important than sports.
All I know is that coach makes sure his students have fun, and he has taken D-III rowers to the D-I Nationals 5 years in a row.
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