HS team attendance and planned events/appointments

#7sDad · Apr 20, 2017

Phathead said:
We want our child to learn responsibility and dedication. I hope you can help wit this as you will be their first boss so to speak and it's a great learning chance for life and how to handle it.

You said it best right here ^^^^

When you put other priorities in front of your job and your commitment, there are consequences. When you do your job and meet expectations, there are rewards.
This is a great lesson for DD to learn.

We all have choices and the coach has a team to run. Without rules for the team and attendance, there would be chaos and people would show when they want.

That being said, your #3 only happens once and cannot be moved to a more convenient time. This is one that should not be missed. For what it's worth, our coach has very similar rules; however cancels practices during the dance nights.

CoogansBluff · Apr 20, 2017

Phathead said:
Dr says I want to see her in 5 months not 4 not 6.

.

Six posters in a row have indicated that scheduling doctor's appointments around HS season is not a problem for them.

What is different about your situation? What kind of medical condition requires that you schedule exactly 5 months ahead with no wiggle room?

Phathead · Apr 20, 2017

I'm not wanting to sound smartass or pick fights but for the Dr appts I have to disagree with some. Appt out of town yes we sched early and drop off at school later since they close at x time. My DD is in school for education first not sports. So in town appts are immediately after school and then return to remainder of practice. Once again I'm only talking appts when Dr in October says I want to follow up in 5 months not 4 or 6. I'm not referring to dental cleanings or routine exams. I'm talking they had surgery and something altered or removed but cleared to proceed with follow ups. Braces adjusted and wants to make sure it is having desired effect.

Phathead · Apr 20, 2017

CoogansBluff said:
Six posters in a row have indicated that scheduling doctor's appointments around HS season is not a problem for them.

What is different about your situation? What kind of medical condition requires that you schedule exactly 5 months ahead with no wiggle room?

She had 8hr surgery in her upper torso to a very important organ . She was released the nxt day and cleared to resume normal activities in x time. She still had follow ups for 1 yr. This isnt really meant to sound this harsh but you just sorta made my point. It's not up to you or any coach to retaliate, decide the importence, or punish for these types of things. Maybe a little trust by the coaches that parents arent trying to cheat the system and parents trust that the coach isn't being a tyrant.
.
For everyone I just wanted to bring this up as the HS rants are started by parents and coaches. In another thread I submitted that communication would help if done by both parties. We have truly done as much to accommodate coaches. There is some coaches who will not try and plenty of parents who dont.

CoogansBluff · Apr 20, 2017

Phathead said:
She had 8hr surgery in her upper torso to a very important organ . She was released the nxt day and cleared to resume normal activities in x time. She still had follow ups for 1 yr. This isnt really meant to sound this harsh but you just sorta made my point. It's not up to you or any coach to retaliate, decide the importence, or punish for these types of things. Maybe a little trust by the coaches that parents arent trying to cheat the system and parents trust that the coach isn't being a tyrant.
.
For everyone I just wanted to bring this up as the HS rants are started by parents and coaches. In another thread I submitted that communication would help if done by both parties. We have truly done as much to accommodate coaches. There is some coaches who will not try and plenty of parents who dont.

If you explain a special circumstance like that to a coach, then the coach should be understanding. Just say, 'This is not a typical doctor's appointment. This is our situation.' Yes, coach must be flexible and open-minded.

spleen1015 · Apr 20, 2017

1. We schedule appointments in the morning and get to school late.
2. We don't schedule anything until we know the summer travel softball schedule. We have the rest of our lives to go on vacation together. She made a commitment to 10/11 teammates. She'll be there with them.
3. This one I dunno. DD is already talking about taking pictures of herself in her prom dress, standing on the mound with cleats and eye black on. I think she'd pick softball over Prom.

MNDad · Apr 20, 2017

Phathead said:
In summary we try to accommodate the season and the coach as much as possiable. When they step on the field we loan our child to you. We know you make decesions, rules and hopefully these help to have an enjoyable and successful season. We want our child to learn responsibility and dedication. I hope you can help wit this as you will be their first boss so to speak and it's a great learning chance for life and how to handle it. But in the end its our child first and your player second. Step back aND think if any of these situations involved you and your child as a parent not a coach would you like it. For most HS teams there are very few that will continue to the nxt level and you are only getting a small stipend not a years salary. So your lively hood does not hinge on the outcome of the season and the teams record. Parents do everything possiable to avoid schedule conflicts but also enjoy these 4 yrs because after them she is a young adult and will be making her on life and you only be a smaller part of it.

Running and sitting one game is a fair attendance policy for missing a practice, even if it’s something beyond her control. One game won’t kill anybody. If she misses once for a doctor appointment, another for a dentist, another for family vacation and another for prom then playing a HS sport probably isn’t her thing. Enabling and excuses, even if you think they’re justified, doesn’t teach the responsibility and dedication you’re looking for.

Phathead · Apr 20, 2017

CoogansBluff said:
If you explain a special circumstance like that to a coach, then the coach should be understanding. Just say, 'This is not a typical doctor's appointment. This is our situation.' Yes, coach must be flexible and open-minded.

Bingo ^^^^^ once again not smartass at you or anyone else as I have followed you and cannonball closely over the yrs. In my job I'm adult and scedule what I need to within the parameters of the company. I don't have to explain what it's for. Yes whole hearted agree the coach has a team to run and needs players there. It's a short season. You have rules like my company does. My company rules are somewhat flexiable. Some coaches rules are. Some of both are not. Jobs are for a living sports are for fun. Rules on attendance on school team absoulty, zero tolerance or any where near zero is pretty tough. in school ball it's the players that can catch hell because of the other two parties. Vac time. Springbreak maybe the only slot open for a full week of vac for that parent so do they skip a full week vac for a yr just to accommodate a school sport?.

chinamigarden · Apr 20, 2017

These are not unusual rules. Our HS coach was always careful to work around prom. But if you are talking hair and nail appointments prior to prom day, sorry but you will have to take the punishment. The coach has rules for a reason, we worked all of those same appointments around 3 HS sports seasons.

My dd was the starting setter on her HS volleyball team junior year, 1/2 way though the season she told the coach that in 10 days she would have to miss a non league match because of a band performance, a school band performance that is part of her grade. She was benched for the rest of the season and in total played maybe 6 minutes in the final game of the year. We were pissed, but DD didn't want us to get involved.

reagansdaddy · Apr 20, 2017

Phathead said:
She had 8hr surgery in her upper torso to a very important organ . She was released the nxt day and cleared to resume normal activities in x time. She still had follow ups for 1 yr. This isnt really meant to sound this harsh but you just sorta made my point. It's not up to you or any coach to retaliate, decide the importence, or punish for these types of things. Maybe a little trust by the coaches that parents arent trying to cheat the system and parents trust that the coach isn't being a tyrant.
.
For everyone I just wanted to bring this up as the HS rants are started by parents and coaches. In another thread I submitted that communication would help if done by both parties. We have truly done as much to accommodate coaches. There is some coaches who will not try and plenty of parents who dont.

Phathead - Glad your DD is okay! Man, I can't imagine that.

I think you are looking at this from the perspective of a parent, which is totally understandable because you are one! But, remember, there are other girls on the team. When your daughter is not at practice, even for a good reason, other girls are there. They are working and getting better. From a coach's perspective, those girls deserve a shot at playing because they were at practice. The coach isn't a tyrant or retaliating against or punishing your daughter. He's giving the girls who were at practice the opportunity to play, which they earned by being at practice.

I will say this, if my daughter was your daughter's backup and didn't get a chance when your daughter missed practice, I wouldn't be very happy about that situation. Coaches have to see the bigger picture. They are dealing with 12 or more girls and families rather than just one.

HS team attendance and planned events/appointments

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