Do you think you are helping your dd?

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Cannonball

Ex "Expert"
Feb 25, 2009
4,854
113
Naturally, coaches and especially HS Coaches are again under attack. Believe me, there is no love lost from the coaches perspective and so, it balances out. However, there is a player who is caught between the both coaches and parents. I have attempted to post what I really think about a few parents here a couple of times but have always deleted threads or posts. Parents, keep this in mind. Every time you enter that dugout, yell some instructions which are contrary to what the coach wants, ... believe me you are a point of discussion after the game by the HS Staff. You are not doing your dd a favor and I will leave it at that.

BTW, keep in mind that my advice for all of you who dislike your dd's HS Coaching Staff is to take your dd off of the team. I doubt that most programs are going to miss her.
 
Apr 28, 2014
2,316
113
My DD doesn't play HS ball yet but I do see your point. She had her first middle School game last week. About half way through the game I started to wonder what was missing from the atmosphere. Then it dawned on me that there were no parents screaming at thier kids. What a difference versus travel games. :)
I think the dilemma is twofold. First many parents have high expectations for their kids and the program and they want to show everyone that thier kid is good. Heads up... No parent cares how good your kid got!
Second, many parents get more into the sport then do the kids. It's crazy. I was speaking to a former D1 pitcher a few weeks ago, she was a stud... And she said her parents didn't push her at all. In fact she had to beg them to catch for her.
I think too many parents put too much pressure on the kids and themselves. Though I think it's starting to become more apparent. I saw a Facebook post from Flo... about 2021 commits and there were a few dozen replies speaking to the craziness in early commitments and how the post only serves to put more pressure on uncommitted kids/families.
Many parents have agendas just their not always apparent at first.
 
Last edited:
Dec 5, 2012
4,143
63
Mid West
Good points made here...
This game, as with most team sports, teach values we need as adults to succeed. Things like commitment, hard work, preparation/planning, attention to detail, adjustability, and accountability just to name a few.... As these young ladies get older, they will quickly realize that we don't always get our way. We can't pick our teachers, professors, bosses, and in school sports, our coaches!
If the HS coach has different ideals than you or her TB team... SO WHAT!!! Let her make her own adjustments. Now with that said, if it's something crazy like promoting horrible mechanics such as HE pitching or teaching a bug squish swing etc... ok, she'll need to nod, smile, thank them, and say she'll "work on that"....but I gotta agree with Cannonball here. STAY THE HELL OUT OF MY DUGOUT. Helicopter parents are a pain in the a$$.
 
Mar 29, 2017
155
18
When I was coaching, I couldn't stand the parents coming to the dugouts. Worse yet was the kids that left the dugout after ABs, after they scored or in between innings.

Also agree with Coach James on the horrible mechanics side too.

I now sit near the outfield or away at least away from the other parents and keep my comments to myself.
 
May 17, 2012
2,804
113
It goes both ways though. If your high school program is inept don't feel like you have to play for those coaches. It's high school softball not a charity.
 

obbay

Banned
Aug 21, 2008
2,199
0
Boston, MA
Cannonball- I have 2 DDs and have had a different experience with the same coach. I hated him with DD#1 but I'm ok with him with DD#2. I tried to talk my oldest DD into quitting HS Softball and doing track and field instead but she loved softball. then she hated the coach, at which time she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of quitting. too bad, I had to watch her go down in flames in the sport she had loved. In college she walked on as a freshman but found it was too demanding to keep her grades up.

The Coach is not bright and has left many enemies in his wake, but I understand him better now. he really likes DD#2 and would do anything to help her. it is hard not to like someone who thinks so highly of your kid and can tell the team stories of her older sister from 5 years ago.

in less than a month DD#1 will graduate from College and what was she talking about when we saw her this weekend? getting into a softball league this summer! I guess once it's in their system, it never goes away!
 
Last edited:
Feb 20, 2015
643
0
illinois
Every team DD has been on has always had the same rule....no parents in the dug out. Period. Her Esprit team had a no parents "near the dugout" rule lol. Head of organization had meeting with each team before season and made sure that parents were aware that "they belong to me" during games. You can have them back when the game is over.

I did venture into the high school dug out the other day after DD took a foul ball (catching) off of her thumb. Immediately turned pretty purple and blue so I went to have a look lol.
 
Jul 19, 2014
2,390
48
Madison, WI
I have been complaining about HS coaches here, but that is to vent. DD 3 vents to me, I vent here and to a few other people. In the meantime, this lets DD 3 repair her relationship with her coach. Trust me on this one, but being the team's only good pitcher, one of the best batters, one of the best fielders, and by far the best base runner helps a lot. Coach is giving the green light for DD 3 to steal a lot of bases, which makes the game fun for player and coach and everyone else.

Remember Sturgeon's Law: 90% of anything is mediocre. That includes HS coaches, and HS parents.

And if any coach thinks his/her girls and their parents never complain away from the coach, well, you are mistaken. DD 3 has a fantastic relationship with some coaches, and one time she ranted about coach X, finally ending with "and X is a GREAT TEACHER!", so there was a lot of respect with the rant.

I have almost never been the parent who caused trouble. Almost. In general, the coaches really like me because I support my DDs and don't cause too many problems for the coaches.

A funny story from a recent game.

The parent of one of DD 3's teammates has coached DD 3 about 5 different times, thrice on LL teams. The last of those LL teams I was asked by the coaches to be the team parent. There was another parent who was THAT PARENT, the parent who gave this coach far, far more trouble than all the other parents put together.

Recent game, THAT PARENT's DD is pitching for the other team. Former LL coach's DD wants revenge. Big time. Smacks the ball about 200'. Fence is 250', but that works as an ITP HR.

Next at bat, pitcher almost hits that batter. Pitcher tries to be cute, yells out loud "That was for hitting a home run off me".
Pitcher didn't realize how angry the batter was.
Batter yells out "I'm hitting another one"
Next pitch, WHACK!
240'.
Still in the park, but the batter was able to jog around the bases and still get the HR.

Oh, and they won, run ruled.

Sweet revenge for her daddy.
 
Dec 8, 2015
249
18
Philadelphia, PA
Am I helping my DD? Yes. The coaches aren't paying for her lessons. The coaches aren't driving her to practices. The coaches aren't catching her multiple times a week, for years, to get her mechanics down. The hard work was done well before the coaches get to her.

That being said, I would never enter a dugout during the game without the coach asking me to.
 

WARRIORMIKE

Pro-Staff Everything
Oct 5, 2009
2,815
48
At the Jewel in San Diego
I would rather have my dd play HS softball rather then run the streets. IF she quits its on her own mind. I doubt she will quit though. Her being a freshman and the girls treating her like shes part of something is awesome. Yea there's drama on the team, but its better then drama inside a jail cell.

She had an away game yesterday. Boys and girls varsity made the road trip to the mountains. About an hour drive from the school. I went up to see the team play. I asked warriorangela if she wanted to go home with me or take the bus back home. She chose the bus. SUPPOSEDLY its was a lot more fun and I guess I drive down the mountain to fast and it scares her. WHATEVER!! HAAAA


Point is, thats what HS ball is about. Not you or me. About the relationships these kids make with their teammates. If we influence them in any negative way. They will quit. So I eat my seeds and take a chill pill and have my "drink" inside my Yeti and just watch. Maybe my views will change later, for now it seems things are going ok. Maybe warriorangela is lucky. Lets see what happens next year.
 

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