Do you think you are helping your dd?

Cannonball said:

The HS Coach also is the one who writes out the lineup. So there is that.

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This I agree with. While I maybe arm chair QB I know that is all it is. Batter comes up I lean to wife she needs to bunt here for blah, blah. Batter promptly dings fence on gapper. Wife looks at me with grin I just glare back and "that will work also" and we chuckle. When it comes to who where when how often I agree with you , none of my beeswax.
From what I read on here a lot of friction between the two parties comes down to time, money and communication. I and DD have put a lot of time and money in P lessons, others in hitting lessons but HS insists on bug squishing or HE. HS coache teachs stretch and fire and IR while kid goes to squisher and HE private coach. Maybe in some cases if there was some talks between the two things would float a little smoother. HS coach and parents have calm discussion either party could then say ok let her do what she's been taught and if it works for her then everybody wins. If not then we can look at change and monitor results, this scenario could open either party's eyes to something new..
Most rants are due to no communication to the party that is the focus of the friction .
Or total uninhibited stupidity of either party.

I have a DD that has played at 2 different schools, in 2 different states on both JV and V. I have noticed a few things.

1st Coach) Not entirely to knowledgeable. Knew how to write a line up, some drills but basic stuff. His staff knew me and that I was involved with the local rec league as the 14u+ commissioner and I coached one of the AC's DDs in that league. Also I was a V field hockey AC for the school. They would ask me questions, drills, thoughts on things etc. They would listen. We would discuss. DD was on V at this school.

2nd coach) Different school, different state. Brought me in as an AC for JH. Told me he was looking for new ideas, etc. When I brought up not teaching squish the bug, start of the downward spiral that I am sure some have read. Totally against anything that was different from what he had been teaching. Team is 4-4 now, but against some very weak teams. DD is on JV, but numerous coaches have commented that they don't understand why she isn't on V. V coach has stated multiple times that this team does not like travel ball players and coaches, that they have a better program at the school. We have players that have slide into first after hitting and were told that was a good idea by a coach and that the coach liked it. We have 2 pitchers, one on JV and one on V. NO ONE on the coaching staff has any clue on how to develop pitchers.

Now, me as a coach. I try to continually learn. Look for new ideas (and try them) see what works and what doesn't. Take advice from people, but verify.

Coaches have as much responsibility to learn as players do. The game evolves. Players and coaches evolve. That is why I like to come on here and read and have discussions, to learn and evolve. There are a great number of coaches on here that think of new things, try new things. If a player has been playing for a long time and has less then optimal mechanics, but it works, find the things that can be easily improved upon with the most benefit. Not try to completely change something that will lead to a ripple effect messing everything else up.

There are definitely the parents that think they know it all, see their kid with rose colored glasses and are in general a pain to deal with. I have had them on my teams both travel and rec.

While I will agree that parents can definitely hurt a DDs chances, coaches can also.

OK, so a different angle on this. We played tonight and while the opponent's pitcher was warming up, the dad is critiquing every pitch. He is telling her all kinds of things but including who they are going to pitch the game. "They!" So, we start the game and the poor catcher is back there not knowing what pitch is coming. The pitcher is looking at dad and throwing what he calls. Nothing I can do about that. He then starts to ask where pitches are, complain about calls, etc. The umpire starts having a conversation with him. That hacks me off. He is not a coach and the umpire is helping this dad call pitches against my team. I go to the plate ump and tell him I'm not real happy with him. Dad is now sitting exactly behind the ump and plate calling pitches.

I have tried to change and not be "that coach" as I have been for 30 years. Well, that didn't happen tonight. I went to the umpire and told him that I would deal with dad now. In between innings, I created a code and vocals for my team. To say our bats came alive is an understatement. We scored 10 in that inning. At one point, the dad said to the coach that his dd had to finish that inning or it would destroy her. He kept calling and so did we. It does go both ways.

Old dogs don't play well with helicopter parents!

I've seen this quite a bit, both from the dug out and lawn chair side and it drives me nuts. The way I look at it, when DD is at a game and on the other side of the fence she belongs 100% to the team. If she has a question...ask the coaches, if she needs something...ask the coaches, she needs to know where to play...ask the coaches. At some point players need to be able to think for themselves, and make adjustments on their own. I see so many pitchers getting torn down for having a bad inning or an off day. I can only imagine what the conversation is like on the car ride home.