Going to try and make a LONG story short, but I need to vent a little. We recently moved to a different state. We came from an area that had a strong Rec program, where I was the commissioner of the 14u and up softball division. I was also the President of a travel organization and managed a team for 2 years. We were 10u first year and 12u second year. Did well, 19-16 overall our first year and 20-10 overall second year. Had a number of coaches give me compliments on the girls, how they played, their attitudes etc. While I was involved with travel I also coached in the rec league I was the commish for, for about 6 years. I was an assistant coach to a HC that also coached at a local college. Used to take my travel teams to that same college for indoor practice where all the coaches would watch us, help, give me pointers etc. HC of college told me that he was keeping an eye on all my players, but specifically wanted both my DD's (at that time they were 9th and 6th grade) to come play for him.
Fast forward to after the move, new school. DD1 takes fall off of travel ball. With the move and changing schools etc, it was her choice so we went with it. DD2 wants to find a team, but we have a hard time. Try out and get offers from a few teams, but DD2 really wasn't feeling any of them. Ended up talking to the coach that took over my old team and all the tournaments they are planning to play are basically the same distance drive for them and for us, so we agree to meet at the tournaments and come down for practice when we can, maybe once a month. DD2 is playing JH so she is playing/practicing everyday. Travel team is only practicing 2 days a week, but most girls still play rec 2 times a week.
Here's where the problems start. School ball, specifically for DD1 (now 16, 10th grade). I was asked to be an assistant coach with the JH. Very young coaching staff, with a 2nd year HC, 1st year AC, another coach that played in college but I am pretty sure she is almost ready to retire and then me. Start coaching. HC of both HS and JH got a few emails saying how bad of a coach I am, I yell at the girls, give no encouragement, have no clue what I am doing, blah blah blah. Think I had already got under the HC skin about some things because he is teaching squish the bug, HE for pitching, and some other questionable stuff. I bring up some ideas and different ways to approach things and immediately was getting shot down. It was a bad thing that I told the players that they shouldn't be talking or texting on their phones while a coach is talking in an end of practice meeting. I shouldn't have yelled at the players that were in line for drills, but talking while a coach is showing everyone what they should be doing. I decide to leave and stop coaching. During the conversation with HC when I tell him that I am done, he tells me that its best that I leave because people in this area don't like travel coaches or players. Team went 5-13 his first year coaching (last year). They have been getting crushed by some decent to mediocre teams and narrowly beating some really bad teams.
Now, DD1 (again, 16) starts by coming home saying how she was put on JV. Majority of players on V ask her why and say she should be playing up there with them. One girl, that was my DD's "competition" for the V spot even said that she thought my DD would be getting the spot not her. Team is full of players with horrible throwing mechanics, horrible hitting mechanics, and no real knowledge of the game. During practice they go over situations in a classroom setting, my DD was told to not answer any more to force the others to try and answer and most of the time they either don't or are wrong.
Then DD1 starts coming home saying she is getting screamed at for errors. Other players are getting "Good try" "Nice effort" etc on missed plays. Ground ball between the legs, Good effort. DD has a ball take a bad hop and gets screamed at to get her body in front of the ball. I've seen her take shots to the face (with a facemask) on a bad hop and still get the out. I am fine with players being yelled at if necessary, but for things like disrespecting a coach, not paying attention, lack of effort. Not errors. Not when you see the player is trying and just made a mistake. This is the first time I have had her come home from practice and say she is not having fun. She has had tough coaches, but there is a difference with this. She seriously feels bullied. She gets no encouragement or positive reinforcement. Its all bad, all the time. Unless the JV coaches or the AD are there. Then he doesn't even talk to her. Cold shoulder like she doesn't exist.
I seriously don't know what to even do any more. I feel like if I say something to the HC that it will get worse, if I talk with the AD it will get worse. I really feel like he is trying to push her to quit.
Fast forward to after the move, new school. DD1 takes fall off of travel ball. With the move and changing schools etc, it was her choice so we went with it. DD2 wants to find a team, but we have a hard time. Try out and get offers from a few teams, but DD2 really wasn't feeling any of them. Ended up talking to the coach that took over my old team and all the tournaments they are planning to play are basically the same distance drive for them and for us, so we agree to meet at the tournaments and come down for practice when we can, maybe once a month. DD2 is playing JH so she is playing/practicing everyday. Travel team is only practicing 2 days a week, but most girls still play rec 2 times a week.
Here's where the problems start. School ball, specifically for DD1 (now 16, 10th grade). I was asked to be an assistant coach with the JH. Very young coaching staff, with a 2nd year HC, 1st year AC, another coach that played in college but I am pretty sure she is almost ready to retire and then me. Start coaching. HC of both HS and JH got a few emails saying how bad of a coach I am, I yell at the girls, give no encouragement, have no clue what I am doing, blah blah blah. Think I had already got under the HC skin about some things because he is teaching squish the bug, HE for pitching, and some other questionable stuff. I bring up some ideas and different ways to approach things and immediately was getting shot down. It was a bad thing that I told the players that they shouldn't be talking or texting on their phones while a coach is talking in an end of practice meeting. I shouldn't have yelled at the players that were in line for drills, but talking while a coach is showing everyone what they should be doing. I decide to leave and stop coaching. During the conversation with HC when I tell him that I am done, he tells me that its best that I leave because people in this area don't like travel coaches or players. Team went 5-13 his first year coaching (last year). They have been getting crushed by some decent to mediocre teams and narrowly beating some really bad teams.
Now, DD1 (again, 16) starts by coming home saying how she was put on JV. Majority of players on V ask her why and say she should be playing up there with them. One girl, that was my DD's "competition" for the V spot even said that she thought my DD would be getting the spot not her. Team is full of players with horrible throwing mechanics, horrible hitting mechanics, and no real knowledge of the game. During practice they go over situations in a classroom setting, my DD was told to not answer any more to force the others to try and answer and most of the time they either don't or are wrong.
Then DD1 starts coming home saying she is getting screamed at for errors. Other players are getting "Good try" "Nice effort" etc on missed plays. Ground ball between the legs, Good effort. DD has a ball take a bad hop and gets screamed at to get her body in front of the ball. I've seen her take shots to the face (with a facemask) on a bad hop and still get the out. I am fine with players being yelled at if necessary, but for things like disrespecting a coach, not paying attention, lack of effort. Not errors. Not when you see the player is trying and just made a mistake. This is the first time I have had her come home from practice and say she is not having fun. She has had tough coaches, but there is a difference with this. She seriously feels bullied. She gets no encouragement or positive reinforcement. Its all bad, all the time. Unless the JV coaches or the AD are there. Then he doesn't even talk to her. Cold shoulder like she doesn't exist.
I seriously don't know what to even do any more. I feel like if I say something to the HC that it will get worse, if I talk with the AD it will get worse. I really feel like he is trying to push her to quit.