Immature Teammates

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Jun 16, 2015
65
6
Looking for any advice, or at the very least, commiseration. How do you handle teammates who behave immaturely and goof off? Don't watch practice? Sit by the outfield during games? DD is a pro, shows up to work, but several, while very talented girls, are there to goof off. This is a 16u A team, with 3-4 14 year-olds. HC does a good job of keeping those in line, and fortunately there are other girls who are serious, but AC ran a practice this week, and 3 out of the 4 girls that showed up ran all over him, just like a substitute teacher. And the parents just sit there and let them behave that way. Probably the best thing to do is let DH take her to practice I guess.
 
Last edited:
Jun 27, 2011
5,089
0
North Carolina
I don't think it has an easy solution unless you have a player who is very good and very charismatic and can change the culture. Short of that, she can only change teams.

It's not unusual at that age when you have what I'd call an in-between team. You've got some girls who really want to play in college and are serious, and others who really don't care about playing at the next level (even if they pretend to) and they have less incentive to focus and work all the time.

DD, who is overly serious, has always had an issue with this on teams. Her summer team and then fall team (same organization, but had to age up) are the first teams she's found where everybody works as hard or harder than she does.
 
Apr 26, 2015
704
43
Completely understand where you're coming from! DD takes her sports very seriously. She breathes sports (and yes she plays more than one). She gets to practice early because she is standing at the door urging me to get moving. She is always the last to leave too. She almost always has a ball in her hands or at her feet. She gives 110% at practice and it makes her mad to see girls goofing off or with their phones out snap chatting during water breaks or when waiting for their turns at a hitting/fielding station (usually only 2 or 3 girls at a station so not a long wait). I do think we are on the downhill slide with this team. The coach complains about the girls lack of commitment but he so desperately wants to be liked that he won't lay down any rules. It drives DD crazy!
 

Ken Krause

Administrator
Admin
May 7, 2008
3,911
113
Mundelein, IL
It gets tough for coaches sometimes, especially when the players they saw at tryouts aren't the players they see at practice. At tryouts, everyone is on their best behavior, trying to make the team. It's only after that you find out who you really have. And at that point, the other players you could've had have already been selected by other teams. So you're stuck.

One alternative is to lay down the law. But what happens if those 3-4 girls quit? Will you be able to field a team? Maybe not, which is another concern the coach has to keep in mind. The other is to try to manage it as best as possible.

Sounds like the HC does, but the AC had a problem. As long as the HC is there 95% of the time it shouldn't be an issue. Maybe the HC needs to remind the team that no matter who is running practice it's still the team practice and should be conducted as such. Because the ones they're hurting the most by their behavior is themselves.

If the behavior continues, then you'll want to look for a more suitable team next year.
 
Jun 16, 2015
65
6
The immature girls on the team really are very strong players, truly they're assets to the team. It's just frustrating that the parents are right there "watching" practice and won't do anything about it. I have half a mind to say something to our HC, whom we all adore, but I'm loathe to be "that" parent. FWIW the parents are all great too. We're very lucky to be on such a great team. I guess this is our only real issue, and for that I should be grateful. It's just so ANNOYING to have the girls be disrespectful to a new AC who's volunteering his time and effort to help. Probably the answer is to drop DD off at practice and go on my merry way. At least I know she will be respectful. Thanks for responding. It always helps to hear of others experiences.
 

Ken Krause

Administrator
Admin
May 7, 2008
3,911
113
Mundelein, IL
Personally, I don't think it's the parents' job to say something to their kids. Ask any coach. The last thing you want is parents interfering with practice, even if it's going poorly. I know I never wanted to hear that, and quite frankly don't like it when parents feel the need to start "coaching" their daughters while I'm giving lessons.

It's up to the coaches to maintain control of practice. That's their job. The parents' job is to drop the girls off, and either sit quietly and watch/learn or go somewhere else and come back on time to pick them up.

One of the problems you could run into with parents telling the girls to knock it off is maybe they don't just tell their own daughters. Maybe they decide it would be helpful to come down on the other kids fooling around too. Then you have utter chaos and no one is really sure who is in charge.

The parents can talk to their daughters about their behavior AFTER practice. That's the time to do it. If they're texting during practice, maybe the parents make them leave the cell phone behind when they go to practice. That's one solution. But you should be careful about suggesting that, because in this helicopter/lawn mower parent world we have right now, parents don't generally appreciate suggestions on how to raise their children from other parents.

To me, it's up to the HC to address. You can let him know what you saw if you want. Especially if it happens repeatedly. He won't know what's going on when he's not there unless someone tells him, and maybe he can work with the AC on leading practice. But again, no parent should be crossing the chalk line to talk to their kids, or anyone else's. At least IMHO.
 

softgabby

Gear Empress
Mar 10, 2016
1,073
83
Just behind home plate
I'll speak for the teams I've played for. There are times that we can goof off and there are times where we need to be serious. Whether we have our head coach at practice or not. We can generally good around before practice, during a drink break or after practice. But once it becomes time to work...we work our little butts off. The same with games. We can goof off before a game, when were in the dugout (as long as we're paying attention to the field) or after the game. But it hasn't effected us negatively.
 

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