Done With Softball?

I know softball is about DD, but oof, she cut me to the core in telling me yesterday she's over travel ball and wants to do something different next year. Anyone been in this position? She likes her team, likes her teammates, has learned a ton, but is a 3rd string pitcher who really doesn't push to improve (she knows that's on her). We did experience a significant loss in the family last week, so that may have something to with it, but she says she just doesn't have the love for it anymore.

I told her she has to love what she's doing, and if she wants to do something else, more power to her. It's just hard to adjust after the last two years of softball. Regardless, it was and is a joy to watch her play.

From experience - support her but MAKE her do something else. Just trust me.
Besides ..... Your kid will blame you either way. If you don't push her top play, she blame you for letting her quit. If you push her to play, she blame you for pushing her. Until they become adults and mature....then they will have wished they had listened either way.
Been there done that..... Whatever you do....make her do something.

Gut punch. As much as it's supposed to be about them, we do love those weekends watching them play! It's impossible to not love their excitement, achievements,and even defeats since we can no longer be the kids ourselves anymore.
One thing I tell mine is, 'by giving up something you're not into so much, it frees up time to try something else and discover what you are passionate about.' But it still stinks as parents, it's like having our favorite player retire.

1bucketmom said:

From experience - support her but MAKE her do something else. Just trust me.
Besides ..... Your kid will blame you either way. If you don't push her top play, she blame you for letting her quit. If you push her to play, she blame you for pushing her. Until they become adults and mature....then they will have wished they had listened either way.
Been there done that..... Whatever you do....make her do something.

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I never really thought about that but it's so true! My mom always let me quit things and I've heard myself say many times that if she'd pushed me to stick to things I might not give up on things so easily when I lose interest. But if she'd forced me to stick I'd probably have said how horrible it was she made me do something I didn't want to do. I told my DD on the long drive to practice the other day that one day she'd be in therapy talking about how her mom made her drive hours every week just for softball practice. She said, with the wisdom of her 9 years, "But I picked this team." Yes, yes, but you won't remember it that way when you're talking to her shrink when you're 22.

Anyway...she's planning for next year sounds like. I'd just go with it for now especially with the recent loss. She may change her mind closer to time and if she doesn't you can deal with then. Why borrow trouble, I say.

Shelbylynn said:

I told her she has to love what she's doing, and if she wants to do something else, more power to her.

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Agreed.

1bucketmom said:

From experience - support her but MAKE her do something else. Just trust me.

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Good advice.

While I would miss softball, I don't think it would be traumatic for me if DD decided to quit. Softball has taken up so much of her life already. Childhood is short. If she wanted to do/try something else, more power to her. I'd be eager to see what it is. I'd be proud that she could make such a bold decision.

Also, if DD quit, I'd have no plans to make her do anything. It would be totally out of character for her not to become involved in something. But that's her journey. If it took her some time to figure out what that was, I'm not pressuring her with some voice in the background, ''OK, you can quit softball, but we're making you do something. Just remember that.'' My parents never made me do anything except treat people kindly, and I'm pretty happy they gave me that space.

CoogansBluff said:

Also, if DD quit, I'd have no plans to make her do anything. It would be totally out of character for her not to become involved in something. But that's her journey. If it took her some time to figure out what that was, I'm not pressuring her with some voice in the background, ''OK, you can quit softball, but we're making you do something. Just remember that.'' My parents never made me do anything except treat people kindly, and I'm pretty happy they gave me that space.

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I know for me, at least, I'd be afraid that the "something" she would choose to do on her own would be to stay locked in her room on social media 24-7. DD already dabbles in that but there's a natural limit because she has softball practice three times per week, basketball twice per week, hitting lessons, etc... Left to her own devices, I'd be afraid she might fall down that rabbit-hole. I need to keep her busy.

MAKE can be giving your child options and letting them make a choice so they feel empowered to make a decision and have some control over their life BUT not allowing them to just "veg" for an extended period of time.

grcsftbll said:

Anyway...she's planning for next year sounds like. I'd just go with it for now especially with the recent loss. She may change her mind closer to time and if she doesn't you can deal with then. Why borrow trouble, I say.

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So true... It's taken me a long time to learn this lesson. Sometimes they just want to see what your reaction will be. My DD saw softball through to the end of high school and 18U, then decided to hang it up. We were proud of her for "seeing it through" and I think she's proud of herself, as well. Sometimes when she needs to think or just needs a break she'll throw a bucket of balls and a tee in her car and go hit for an hour. She doesn't make a point of telling us, but the dirty cleats and stray ball or two rattling around the garage give her away