To travel, or not to travel..

Good morning all, and Happy New Year!

Facing a dilemma with my 10 y.o. daughter. She is in her 2nd year of 10u. Fall REC ball was painful. My daughter had to hold off on her throws to base, because the other girls were a. Scared of the ball and b. Couldn't catch her throws. So I let her pitch. The 2 girls catching, well, couldn't catch. The coach spent more time teaching the other girls how to properly throw than anything else. And I feel like my daughter made zero progress in her game.

So far she has tried out for 3 travel teams. The first was way out of her league. The 2nd was a team that several of her friends play for. She wanted to play for them in the worst way. Unfortunately, the coach is .. well, uninformed. He's looking for "big bats" and thinks that mean fly balls to the outfield. I know that fly balls to the outfield = outs. If he doesn't get that, I don't want her playing for him. Her Dad was onboard for her joining this team. So I took her to a 3rd tryout. This team is just starting an 05 team, and my daughter would get a lot of playing time. I like the coach, and he has 15+ years of experience coaching travel ball. She made this team.

Biggest problem will be convincing her Dad to let her play travel. He's making his decision based on what's easier for him, not what's best for our daughter. He's concerned with time commitment and costs. I currently take her to all practices anyway, and to all batting and pitching lessons (which I also pay for).

I'm so worried about her wasting another season in Rec. I'm worried that she will get frustrated and not want to play anymore. I'm worried that her Dad is trying to talk her out of playing for a team that will help build her skills, and her confidence. I'm worried that she will get an idiot for a coach if she stays in Rec.

I need advice. Should I push and try to get her Dad to agree to let her play travel ball? How can I talk him into it?? I won't accept a spot for her unless he agrees. Or should I just let her stay in Rec and see what happens? I could coach her Rec team and at least have a little control over who she plays with, but that's a huge time commitment for me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

I would definitely push it especially if this is what she wants. I can't think of a better way to spend time with my daughter than watching her do something she loves.

You might consider keeping her in rec through spring/summer when the talent might be significantly better (at least that is the case here). Secondly, what does your DD want to do? Travel IS a big time and money commitment, another reason to wait until next year at 12u. See if she really puts in the hard work over the next 6 months and decide after summer if she (and you and her father) are ready for travel.

Lastly, you mentioned that on the 2nd team the coach didn't know what he is doing because he was recruiting girls with big bats. I don't see anything wrong with what he is looking for. Those deep fly balls start finding the gaps and not every girl can hit with power, so they are an important component of any softball team. Just because he didn't pick your DD doesn't necessarily make him a bad coach.

Good luck.

1. Maybe move her to 12U rec if the league will allow? We have some girls playing up in age group because their skills are there.
2. Look for another 10U rec team that has girls with more skill level.
3. Put together your own Rec team?

HuskyMom said:

The first was way out of her league. The 2nd was a team that several of her friends play for. She wanted to play for them in the worst way. Unfortunately, the coach is .. well, uninformed. He's looking for "big bats" and thinks that mean fly balls to the outfield. I know that fly balls to the outfield = outs. If he doesn't get that, I don't want her playing for him.

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If your DD wants to be on a team ''in the worst way,'' and is this strong vs. rec players, then I do think she's ready to give travel ball a try. So I'd definitely push for it. Can't answer questions about affordability and negotiating w/ her dad, however.

Also, this is off topic, but was just curious about the coach who likes fly balls to the outfield. I also like girls who hit fly balls to the outfield, assuming they're not popups just out of the infield. I've not known many 10U girls who hit a bunch of legit fly balls to the outfield who weren't good hitters. That's a better sign for the future than girls that age who are just putting the ball in play and exploiting immature defenses. Now, if your daughter is hitting line drives but not yet in the gap or over OF's heads, then that's different. I really like that.

I'm a bit confused...the second team, the coach looking for big bats, her dad is on board for her joining this team? But then you say you have to convince him to let her play travel? Did she make that second team? But you don't like the coach?

Where I live rec is not better in the spring. Our 8u travel team was pretty terrible, honestly, but could still have beaten just about any 10u rec team in the county. And probably some of the 12u rec teams. The very best rec teams in my county are still weaker than the weak travel teams. We do not miss it.

I don't see anything alarming about the 2nd team. If he's on board for that one and that's the team she wants, I'd probably go with that.

1. You will not be on the same travel team forever. So picking team 2 that your DD wants and dad will allow is a good way to get your feet wet.
2. You will never agree 100% with coaching styles or decisions. So let Coach 2 look for fly outs while your DD enjoys playing with stronger talent - if she made that team.
3. You.....YOU......YOU must be your DDs #1 advocate. Even if that means making a decision that dad is not on board with if it is in the best interest of your DD.
4. It will all work out regardless of the team you pick. She'll either learn new skills or life lessons or both.

Many, many moons ago, I was "that dad." When my DD's were in 8U & 10U, it was their mother who was the driving force for all things softball. My DD's also had two older siblings (one with special needs), and it was always a challenge getting everyone around. My only requirements for softball were that we were able to afford it and that it fit in with everything else we were doing. With four kids in the house and both parents working demanding jobs, I did not want to have the majority of our weekends consumed by travel.

My DD's are very different, but both love the game and progressed to the point where your DD is at. The best thing that happened to us at that time was moving into travel ball. I mean no disrespect to rec ball - it's full of great people - but a whole new world opened up. The girls were able to learn and compete at a more advanced level. We continued to meet and associate with terrific coaches, parents, and kids. And we were able to travel more, while also taking care of everything the older brothers needed.

My opinion, for what it's worth, is to make a reasonable choice based on your capabilities to allow your DD to play at the highest level she's capable of. Capable, experienced coaching is an important factor to consider. But I also know from personal experience that some coaches have a "method to their madness", which may or may not explain the one coach's infatuation with the fly ball (Coogan offers a good take on this). I have learned so much in the past several years, and I continue to learn more about the game simply by being immersed in the process.

Best of luck with your decision, whatever it may b!

I agree with every point except 3. When making a decision like which team to go with, both parents should be involved with and on board with it IMHO. Can't imagine making a decision without DW on board like which adults (coaches and parents) my DD will spend a good deal of time with or peers she will spend time with. Seems like the best options are coach her in REC or don't sweat the fly balls coach.