Nervous Mom - First Tournament at 16U A

This is more a vent than anything else, but if anyone has any words of wisdom, PLEASE chime in. DD is 13 playing on what was supposed to be a new 14U A team. She formerly played rec ball for a very weak organization. This team could only field 9 true 14U’s so we moved up to 16U. Had we known that, we probably would have opted for a different 14U team. We do really like the coach and it's a nice bunch of girls. I’ve communicated to HC that DD’s fielding skills are weak and she lacks confidence. HC said both would come with repetition, and she’s been doing well at practice. When scrimmaging against a true 16U A team, however, her skills and confidence plummet. Next weekend is our first tournament and I’m sure it will be a mess. I know it’s up to her whether she sinks or swims but it’s hard to watch. I know there’s a big difference between a 13-year-old and a 16-year-old, and I know it’s not my journey, but still.

I have an 18U team with a 14 year old, and two 15 year old players. Next weekend we face off against one of the best JUCO teams in the country and in November play the reigning NJCAA National Champions. I have been doing it this way for years. I have found that these young players rise to the occasion and elevate their skills very quickly. I expect that your DD will be just fine and that you will look back on this and realize it was one of the best things that ever happened to her.

Whenever a player moves up there is some adjustment time required to catch up to the speed of the game. Since you appear to be a wreck a week out it might be best if you don't watch.

Our 12U team will be playing 14U quite a bit this year. It is a good experience for the girls and I agree with Riseball that you will look back at this experience and see what it did for her.

We are in a similar situation. Made the jump from B ball to A with a good organization. She is 12 playing on a 14U team that regularly plays 16U tourn with a few 18U teams mixed in. She is the smallest on the team, but does her best to contribute when called upon. I can tell you it is much harder on us the parents than her. We are used to her playing every inning and now she is having to learn what sitting behind better players on a team is all about. I am hoping when she is 16 we look back on this time and how much she grew as a player both in skill and her mental game. However, her hunger for A level ball has really grown and going back down to B ball just doesn't seem like an option. Good Luck!

My DD was a freshman on her high school varsity team - she was five feet tall, maybe 95 lbs and pitched against 18A hitters. It certainly wasn't pretty. There were a few times when her team got run-ruled in the third inning; not an easy thing to do in high school when the run rule is 20,15,10 after 3,4,5.

Fast forward 4 years and here she is, a senior, still pitching - and rather successfully to boot. It all worked out - in fact, I would say that facing adversity allowed her to grow a thick skin and to believe in herself even more than she otherwise may have.

My advice to you is to try to relax - something I wish I had done when my daughter was 14. It may seem like an unmitigated disaster, but things usually turn out better than you think.

Shelbylynn said:

She formerly played rec ball for a very weak organization.

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Since you stated your DD is coming from "weak rec ball" to a 16U A TB team, I'm not sure comparing them to Riseball's 14's who've likely had many years of top TB is the comparison to make. It's a jump from Rec to TB and also a jump from 12 to 14. So to go from 12U Rec to 16U A travel, I think your concern is warranted, especially since you already know her skills are weak comparatively. We all strive to push our DD's out of their comfort zones to help them stretch and grow, but there is also a point of just setting them up for failure and taking the fun out of the game.

I don't know how many kids are on the 16U team, but it sounds like you're struggling for players. So you have to weigh whether the coach has DD's or his own best interests in mind. Maybe play the first tournament and see how it goes. But don't be afraid to make the hard choice to look for a more appropriate situation if it's clear she's not anywhere near the same skill level (yet!).

There's nothing wrong with letting her grow a year in 14's to build her skills and confidence before moving her into this level of play where she may not have much success.

Calm down Shelbylynn

I would think it would depend on her temperament, and the commitment of the coach to develop her. If she is ok with making mistakes (not ok with it, but instead doesn't get in her head), taking her lumps and growing, I believe a lot of kids rise to the level of play around them over time. If the coach is aware of her current abilities and will continue to give her opportunities, then she'll get there if she can stand the fire.

Now on the other hand, if the team is losing a ton of games, or the coach benches her for much of a tournament, not sure how quickly she would develop before it getting to her head.

I also think there is a big difference between "weak" 12U rec and 16UA TB team- at least I hope so. I think there would be challenges for a good 12UA TB player (unless she was physically very mature) to go to 16UA- where girls are bigger, stronger, and pitching is light years better. I would agree that a trial run to see what the competition looks like would be a good idea. I do not think it would be a productive experience for your DD or her teammates if the team is clearly way outclassed. If your DD plays in the IF- or P- I would consider a mask if she doesn't already wear one.