Appreciate your feedback/insight

fpdad5 said:

To all who provided insight and feedback on this thread,

Last night my daughter committed to play on her rec tournament team. She and I discussed the pros and cons of each team and I also shared this thread with her. Her decision to stay with the rec team was driven by her desire to win as a contributor in multiple areas and not just as a pitcher. She also agrees that growing her skills in other positions, batting and base running is very important to her continued growth as a player. She told me she does not want to be thought of only as a pitcher. I feel she made the right decision. Once again thank you for your support on this thread.

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Sounds like a good move based on the situation and her preference. I have heard of travel teams that, for a significantly reduced fee, will allow a girl to practice with the team, although she does not play in tournaments with them on weekends. If you can find a deal like that, she could work on her skills with some stronger talent and coaching, but still play with her rec team. It would also give her a close-up opportunity to see how she compares to travel ball players, and may open a door for her next season.

Maybe your daughter can guest play with this team one weekend, to give it a try to see how she likes it.

Ultimately the best decision is the one you are both most happy with, and it sounds like you are.

If your DD is 12, (you didnt say) and wants to play travel ball, or maybe at college level, etc one day, she really needs to make the jump as soon as possible.

The avg skill level of girls will increase every year, and the # of teams dwindles as the ages increase and the less committed players drop out. Just keep that in mind. By playing rec ball she will likely only fall further behind.

I dont think a travel team can depend on one pitcher for bracket games. Your DD would definitely pitch there too. In summer, sometimes girls cannot finish a couple innings , much less a whole game without losing control or speed. Heck, sometimes they just have an off day from the start.

Speaking from a parent of a player who made the jump from rec to travel...my dd loves softball and absolutely adored her rec league coach (who was, believe it or not, really knowledgeable and there for all of the children to learn). Discussion arose about her moving forward, to what some would call a "much better group". We talked about it here and she made the committment, as we did as a family. We travelled to practices numerous times a week and on the weekends, when we weren't in tournaments. She may have gotten play in one pool play game a tournament. The coach did not bother to work with her during practices to help her hone her skills. She was a dh in some of the games but, for the most part, sat the bench. Her breaking point was the last tournament - one which the organization she played for hosted. She sat the bench the ENTIRE tournament. Two "guest players" were brought in because they were short a couple of the regular girls. My dd and another team member sat there and sat there and sat there. She came up to me after the game, threw her glove at me, in tears, and said she was finished. That coach broke her spirit - period. I said then I would never, ever put her in that kind of situation again. If all she ever will be is mediocre playing in rec league, so be it. To me, it is just not worth seeing your child's spirit stomped on the ground weekend after weekend.

We have signed her up in a rec league for spring/summer ball in an adjacent town - one that has better competition than they offer here. They have their first practice this afternoon. We will see what happens, but my guess is she'll be a better player for it and will have a much better time doing it. Just my opinion!

Hollyrockartist said:

Speaking from a parent of a player who made the jump from rec to travel...my dd loves softball and absolutely adored her rec league coach (who was, believe it or not, really knowledgeable and there for all of the children to learn). Discussion arose about her moving forward, to what some would call a "much better group". We talked about it here and she made the committment, as we did as a family. We travelled to practices numerous times a week and on the weekends, when we weren't in tournaments. She may have gotten play in one pool play game a tournament. The coach did not bother to work with her during practices to help her hone her skills. She was a dh in some of the games but, for the most part, sat the bench. Her breaking point was the last tournament - one which the organization she played for hosted. She sat the bench the ENTIRE tournament. Two "guest players" were brought in because they were short a couple of the regular girls. My dd and another team member sat there and sat there and sat there. She came up to me after the game, threw her glove at me, in tears, and said she was finished. That coach broke her spirit - period. I said then I would never, ever put her in that kind of situation again. If all she ever will be is mediocre playing in rec league, so be it. To me, it is just not worth seeing your child's spirit stomped on the ground weekend after weekend.

We have signed her up in a rec league for spring/summer ball in an adjacent town - one that has better competition than they offer here. They have their first practice this afternoon. We will see what happens, but my guess is she'll be a better player for it and will have a much better time doing it. Just my opinion!

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Sorry your DD had such a bad experience, but trust that there are MUCH better ones out there to be had. You might just need to look a bit.

On the ride to practice this afternoon, my dd was shaking in her cleats - afraid that she was going to run into the same type of coach she had in the fall. Much to her surprise, the two coaches who greeted her were warm, friendly and, most of all, there for the girls. They asked her where she played, her experience, etc.. She fit right in and did a wonderful job covering 1st and knocked the cover off of the ball when at bat.

I think her one bad experience has jaded her somewhat, and has certainly jaded us as parents. When there is constant negativity around, it tends to generate low self-esteem. She truly was unsure about the practice today - thought she would not be able to hang with the U16 age group. She did better than most out there and I was proud. She felt very good and talked the whole ride home about what they did during practice. I am sure there are other travel ball coaches out there who are not as hard core, a**ish like that one but we are a tad bit gunshy now!

Holly rock.......
When my dd was 10, she played on a 12U travel team and had a coach break her spirit in the same manner.
She was the #2 pitcher on that team and did not see the field for a single AB or defensive out on the last weekend.
When she was warming up to pitch, the coach pulled a girl from CF who didn't pitch all year to take the circle.
DD was in tears, took up another sport and missed the team's next game. When the coach called me (he happens to
be a good guy) I explained the circumstances, and he claimed he did not realize what happened. She has since changed
organizations and this will be her 3rd year in a different city. She is very happy, and said the whole experience was a good lesson
for her. She is a #1 pitcher as a 1st year 14U and could not be happier. Her coaches are very good, they do not micromanage on game
day, they do not play 'daddy ball' and they do not yell at the players like so many other coaches that we all see. The program
has now attracted some very good talent and rather than make cuts to these tenured players, they have formed another team in
each division and all are thriving. Hopefully this is a trend that will take off in neighboring communities as well. The girls all play hard
they win some, they lose some but are having a very good experience. This travel club truly shows that winning isn't everything

And just where are y'all located?? Maybe that's where my dd needs to play! There was a travel ball team that lost their coach and several players. He broke off and did his own thing, travel ball wise. My dd played for the organization he left. They were in a tournament that he somewhat organized (figured there would be trouble). Since it was before our time, I had no misgivings about squat - just there for dd to play ball. During a game with his new team, a few of our fans got super unruly - yelling at the umps and just in general. I felt so sickened that, after the game I went to the umpires and apologized for their behavior. The other coach was just wanting to win a game and had a good group, from what I could tell, of girls and talent. Those on our side just could not get past the fact that he pulled out from their organization. I commend the guy for getting out of a situation with a group he obviously felt uncomfortable with and taking his daughter and a few others. What I witnessed was animosity among the parents as well as the children - obviously parentals talked to their girls who then resented the others. Complete insanity and game playing, and I don't mean softball. Just sad that people can't just let the girls play ball...tends to be a lot of folks out there living vicariously through their daughters for missed opportunities when they were young. I didn't skip a beat when I was their age...I just want my dd to make her own memories and have a good time doing it!!

fpdad5...those days at 12u are tough. There is so much maturing going on. A pitcher will only develop all the criteria to be a pitcher (skill, pressure, and emotional control, etc.) by exposure. I cannot speak to your rec program, but after an athlete decides on her goals (as stated numerous times in other posts), and as she develops, she will outgrow levels of play. It is NOT elitism. We recognized that our dd was hesitant to make her best throw in fear the baseman would not be able to handle the speed of her throw. She grew fearful of hurting a team mate. We sat and asked her what she wanted from softball and how we could help her achieve it (playing with friends, having fun, athletic development, how much time she was willing to put toward her game after academic requirements were met, etc.). She was on a team, at that time, whose coach believed what you have described (one pitcher and morsels for the second). This interfered with the development of her emotional and mental game. She was never going to gain confidence or strengthen her tenacity by being put in a saving situation that was all but lost. Nor would she improve with the wrong mentality of "the pool game doesn't matter." I see many teams approach the pool game goofing around and coaches putting players in positions to "throw them a bone." Her first travel team was a great group of parents and athletes, but my dd decided she had to move on. On her second team, they lost pitchers which left her as the only starter (with a couple of girls who could hurl it). We didn't want her pitching that much. Going in to this season, there may be too many pitchers on the team...we shall we. In terms of your dd's focus (lol, it has a lot to do with the age)...I sat my dd down before the spring of age 13 and asked if she wanted to continue as a pitcher or settle into one of her other positions. I emphasized, "If you want to pitch, it takes more...your teammates are counting on your level of commitment." I would not accept an immediate answer but told her to think about it for two or three days. She is a dedicated player today. I am proud of her.

My thought is perhaps there is another travel team out there who would be a better match

Sorry, we're not located in Mississippi! If you contemplate a move to Florida,
I will get you setup!