Youth sports--if your child doesn't love it, let her leave it.

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sluggers

Super Moderator
Staff member
May 26, 2008
7,132
113
Dallas, Texas
There is a coach who is, IMHO, simply superb. He has produced athletes and teams that demonstrate that he knows what he is doing.

I asked him what he would have done differently with his own DDs. He said, "If I had it to do over again, I would have let them do what they wanted to do rather than do what I wanted them to do."

If your DD does not love the sport, whether it is softball, swimming, hoops or bowling, please, let her quit.

If your DD loves ice hockey more than softball, let her play ice hockey. If your DD loves softball more than soccer, let her play softball.

If your DD truly loves a sport, no matter what it is, support her and enjoy the ride. If she doesn't, forget it and find something the child loves.

Life is too short, for both you and her.
 
Last edited:
Nov 26, 2010
4,784
113
Michigan
100% agree. My son wanted to quit baseball so he could focus on soccer. It was hard for him to tell me. And it was hard for me to hear. But telling him it was OK was one of the things that I beleive strengthened our relationship. He didn't enjoy the game any longer. How could I tell him he had to do it? And while he was a heck of a goal keeper I think he was a better ball player.
 
Feb 17, 2014
7,152
113
Orlando, FL
100% agree. My son wanted to quit baseball so he could focus on soccer. It was hard for him to tell me. And it was hard for me to hear. But telling him it was OK was one of the things that I beleive strengthened our relationship. He didn't enjoy the game any longer. How could I tell him he had to do it? And while he was a heck of a goal keeper I think he was a better ball player.

When it is a lateral move with equitable benefits it is much more palatable. However, how would you have handled things if he said that he wanted to quit baseball to play video games and hang out with his friends at the skate park?
 
May 7, 2008
8,506
48
Tucson
^ I required one high school activity. I think my DD thought it was easier to stay in softball, than join the choir, etc. I did let her quit band and basketball and rec softball, her sophomore year. So, I wasn't all bad.
 
Feb 17, 2014
7,152
113
Orlando, FL
^ I required one high school activity. I think my DD thought it was easier to stay in softball, than join the choir, etc. I did let her quit band and basketball and rec softball, her sophomore year. So, I wasn't all bad.

Did pretty much the same thing. It is easy to be a hands off parent and let kids live their own life making their own decisions, blah, blah, blah. That way it is never your fault because you really are not doing anything. In the end they learn to quit when things get tough or do not go their own way.

It is something totally different to help your kid find their passion, motivate them, give them the tools to succeed and hold them accountable for their efforts.
 
Nov 26, 2010
4,784
113
Michigan
When it is a lateral move with equitable benefits it is much more palatable. However, how would you have handled things if he said that he wanted to quit baseball to play video games and hang out with his friends at the skate park?

I don't know. My kids have both been busy with activities. But if the grades stayed the same, chores were done and the parents were respected I suppose I wouldn't care if he hung out at the skate park more
 
Jun 18, 2012
3,183
48
Utah
When it is a lateral move with equitable benefits it is much more palatable. However, how would you have handled things if he said that he wanted to quit baseball to play video games and hang out with his friends at the skate park?

You make a VERY GOOD POINT!!!

It's what they play to replace their time with that might be a valid concern, and one that might justify at least some resistance. They are, after all, still minors. I believe good parenting involves instilling responsibilities in the form of household chores and such. Should we simply let our children opt out of household chores because they don't love it? A sports activity is generally more desirable than chores.
 
Jun 18, 2012
3,183
48
Utah
Did pretty much the same thing. It is easy to be a hands off parent and let kids live their own life making their own decisions, blah, blah, blah. That way it is never your fault because you really are not doing anything. In the end they learn to quit when things get tough or do not go their own way.

It is something totally different to help your kid find their passion, motivate them, give them the tools to succeed and hold them accountable for their efforts.

riseball, I'm sure you agree with me when I say that being a PARENT to your child is much more important than being their buddy. I think all too often parents fail because they place far too much emphasis on being their kid's buddy.
 
Jun 18, 2012
3,183
48
Utah
It is also possible for coaches to "live vicariously" through their players, or to have a bit of a god complex. The problems abound on both sides of the fence.
 
Last edited:
Feb 17, 2014
7,152
113
Orlando, FL
It is also possible for coaches to "live vicariously" through their players, or to have a bit of a god complex. The problems abound on both sides of the fence.

So true. Unfortunately I have seen some coaches in various sports that fit that description. Grown adults who relish in their role as an authority figure and live for the attention they receive from their players. Often to the point of involvement in social media, exchanging texts and other behavior that most would find downright creepy. They act in the role of a "friend" instead of a coach where they end up involved in aspects of players personal lives where no reputable coach would tread.
 

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