Youth sports--if your child doesn't love it, let her leave it.

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May 4, 2016
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We have always let our kids decide if they want to do a sport or activity or not. However once they say they one to do they have to keep that commitment. As for the tryout have her go. There maybe some fear of not making the team that is keeping her from wanting to go. I know my DD2 is talented at softball and acting but resists doing tryouts or auditions for fear of failing. So I truly feel it is part of my job as a parent to help her confront those fears.
 

WARRIORMIKE

Pro-Staff Everything
Oct 5, 2009
2,815
48
At the Jewel in San Diego
Pretty long thread so if this has already been discussed i'm sorry. What about an 8 year old? My daughter is scheduled to go to a tryout in a week and has over the last month went back and forth on if she wants to play or not. We go practice one day and she has a great time and loves it. Next day, she hates it the entire time and says over and over "I want to quit! I hate softball!" I plan on making her play because I feel at 8 years old she doesn't understand if she quits it could put her back in developing the skills. She is also scheduled to start pitching lessons because she told me she wanted to pitch and has been practicing for a few months now. Acts like she loves it, then the next day, "I want to quit." What should I do?


Shes 8. let her learn all the positions if you can. When my dd was 8 I was coaching. I took her to pitching lessons so that way I had an understanding on how works. That way I could reiterate it for someone else without messing them up to badly. My dd did not pitch until I really needed her at around the age of 11. We had others on team that were better. So never needed her, but I just kept taking her to lessons and working with her. Now shes 14 and in HS. Varsity Pitcher for her HS team and for her travel team She is needed for HS because there's only two pitchers that can throw at a higher level. With her travel team we have a handful that can throw too. I'm happy as long as she is needed for any team. Ive told my dd she has to play a sport. I dont care which sport, but she has to do something. We've tried water polo, surfing and volleyball. We have always gone back to softball.


I really wish competitive house cleaning was a sport. She would be horrible at it, but I wouldn't mind her practicing all the time.
 
Nov 26, 2010
4,784
113
Michigan
Pretty long thread so if this has already been discussed i'm sorry. What about an 8 year old? My daughter is scheduled to go to a tryout in a week and has over the last month went back and forth on if she wants to play or not. We go practice one day and she has a great time and loves it. Next day, she hates it the entire time and says over and over "I want to quit! I hate softball!" I plan on making her play because I feel at 8 years old she doesn't understand if she quits it could put her back in developing the skills. She is also scheduled to start pitching lessons because she told me she wanted to pitch and has been practicing for a few months now. Acts like she loves it, then the next day, "I want to quit." What should I do?
She's 8, quitting now will not put her back enough to make a difference in the long run.

So far you are catering to the part of her that wants to play. Why not let her quit. Let her miss it. Maybe she will gain an appreciation for what she had. I would however, make her fulfill any current team obligation though.
 
Jan 31, 2011
453
43
Wow, this discussion has gone all over the place.

As far as the OP goes, here is my family experience. I have 3DDs. All three play or played high-level TB and HS ball. The oldest two played (or will play) college ball.

DD#3 is the reason for posting this. She plays TB and swims. I'm her TB coach. She is a high level swimmer IMO, but loves softball more. Our team is a lot of fun. Last fall, she joined our HS swim team as a freshman, and wanted to quit half-way through the season. She said she did not like the coach AND I made her miss TB softball tournaments on Saturdays because HS swims on Saturdays. A HS varsity sport comes before club ball in our family.

We did not allow her to quit. I made her finish the commitment & the short swim season. However, we told her the following 3 years are up to her. I'm not going to force her to swim. There is no benefit to that. Actually, this is the first winter she hasn't participated in club swim. It was her choice not to swim this winter. What is funny is that our Facebook "memories" pop up all the time with old photos of her winning tons of swim medals in past years. I show her my phone and say "huh, remember that swim meet? You did pretty good." Many of her friends still swim & she is actually missing it. Its still up to her, but I think some time away from it helped reset things a bit. She's a good softball player too & I'm happy she loves the sport. But its painful to see her waver on swimming where she's dominant.
 
Last edited:
Jul 19, 2014
2,390
48
Madison, WI
As far as the 8 year old goes --

I agree with people who say let her quit as long as she finishes her commitment to that season.

When DD 3 was in K and 1st grade, she was on a local soccer team with other kids from her school. Co-ed at that age.

At one point she said she was sick of it and wanted to quit. Hard for her, since she really liked her coach. I told her if she finished out her commitment to her teammates for that one season, she could quit. Proud to say, she stuck with it for the rest of the season, and didn't complain since she was playing with friends and she knew she could quit. She almost rejoined the team, just for the coach, but didn't. Turns out she likes softball a lot better. She tried ballet, she tried soccer, she tried volleyball, track and cross country, but softball is where her heart is.
 

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