How much do you help with homework?

DH and I don't help unless we are asked, which does happen on occasion. Two events led us to this point:

1. DS 5th grade poetry unit. A very involved unit, which included analysis of a new poem every week. I helped with one analysis - I must say, I was extremely proud of my little thesis. I had half a mind to call up my old college profs for some witty banter and in-depth discussion of said poem. Well. Out of a grading scale of 1-5, "I" received a 2.
2. DD 7th grade science. We were going over a study sheet for an upcoming test. DH, who has a PhD in chemistry, practically jumped out of his skin when he noticed that a property of magnesium was misrepresented. A lengthy discussion of the periodic table ensued. DD got a "D" on that test.

So, our new policy, with DD a sophomore and DS in 7th grade is this: straight A's = no hassle from the parents. We check their grades online every other week or so - we have had a few occasions of weekend groundings until the grades righted themselves; a few very rocky weeks here and there, but basically OK. DD just got her PLAN (the pre-ACT) results back - DH and I were both pleasantly shocked that she did extremely well. Sometimes it really does all work out in the end

Amy in AZ. said:

Core Curriculum. -
In Kelly Thompson’s household, extracurricular activities are history.

There’s no time for music lessons and after-school sports, no matter how much her two children enjoyed them.

Not with the multiple tests her fourth-grader and sixth-grader take each week on top of additional hours of homework, the result of the new Common Core State Standards rolled out in Anne Arundel County Public Schools this year.

“It has completely changed our family dynamic,” said Thompson, co-creator of the Facebook group Parental Awareness of Common Core.

Teachers, Parents Struggle With New Common Core State Standards « CBS Baltimore

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From your article:

"Some parents like these shifts. One is Alice Cain, vice president of policy for Teach Plus, a Boston-based nonprofit that works with teachers in high-poverty schools across the country. She’s also the parent of two Hillsmere Elementary School students.

She said she has noticed students are learning certain things earlier than they used to. Her first-grade son is mastering vocabulary that his older sibling learned in second and third grade.

“The bar is being raised, there’s no question about it,” Cain said."

Good.

chinamigarden said:

Imagine if your dd had a school project due and a practice scheduled. Would you consider, going to practice for her? You know just to help her out.

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No but I also wouldn't send her to practice without sharing the knowledge and experience that I have as a coach. That's what parents do.

If you aren't involved in your kids homework you aren't playing the same game as everyone else.

Gunner, Hopefully there are some positives. But, I liked teaching when I could introduce a topic that was relevant, just because. I never liked teaching to a test and that was about all I was doing, when I quit teaching.

One of the most difficult parts of being a parent is finding that balance between helping and controlling. We do not insist that DD gets good grades, just like we don't insist that she pitches or plays basketball. They are decisions she makes. In our case, DD is part of the Junior National Honor Society, so there are certain expectations we do have. If her cumulative average falls from 98 to 94, we won't step in much. But if it falls from 98 to 78, then we have an issue. That is when she will be asked to make some more decisions, but those decisions will still be hers to make. We have similar expectations in sports as well. She pitches because she enjoys it, but if for some reason she decided that she did not want to practice anymore, she would also not pitch anymore. That simple.

In regards to homework, she will ask us when she needs help. Our role is mostly to quiz her before exams, proof read some things when she asks, and occasionally help her with math. This is not a knock on her teachers. I think they do a very good job (again, we are lucky there). But sometimes a subject can make more sense when explained in a different way. Kinda like my struggles with the whole "turn the barrel" philosophy. While I am sure there are dozens of people on DFP that have explained it extremely well, it is taking every one of those voices for me to get it. And I am still not 100% sure I am there yet. But I am trying....

And JJ, I agree completely. Some of the projects seem to be little more than busy work. I do not mind helping her with those at all. If it is important for her to do it on her own, she will. If not, I will give her a hand to get it done. It is not her job to wash my car, but she will help with it sometimes. I don't think the Egypt project is any different. Let her do the "brain activity" part of it, and then you help with the construction. I don't see any harm in that at all.

Westwind said:

A local hs near our location has a math teacher taking a very interesting approach.

He puts his lecture on youtube. The "homework" is to watch the youtube vid and take notes. The next day, they do the assigned problems in class where the teacher is present to answer questions.

One dad interviewed said it has ended some really difficult and stressful nights of fighting through the class work and the grades have shot up.

I think it's brilliant. I cannot help with math homework. DW has a math degree but it frustrates dd's when she doesn't solve probs the same way the teacher taught them. There is real stress in that at 10p on a school night.

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DD's school has this form of the "flipped classroom" for languages. They may start it up next year for math as well. Right now, for math, they use an online teaching tool which has been a godsend. It's tough to watch DD get home from sports at 7 p.m and have a full night of homework and studying. I've found that the best thing I can do is help with the "mom" things, as 3's dad said, and have a dinner plate ready to go so she can eat while watching her spanish lecture.

Our district is also adopting the core standards. We haven't seen much fall-out at the high school level, but I've heard that it's a difficult transistion at the elementary level.

IMHO, Amy is right about Common Core Curriculum. I teach, have taken advanced training on the implementation and hate having to do a lot of it. As an example, I was told the first day of the last training session I took that I am no longer a Social Studies Teacher. I was told that I am now an English Teacher who gets to have students write about history. I am a History Teacher. I have tremendous success with my students. Presently, I am looking at a dozen gifts I received today from my students and I haven't had half of my classes today. My students score exceedingly well with what I teach. However, everything I once did is all being discounted and done away with. Some of you parents, just wait until you have the massive writing assignments. We are implementing it now in my classes. I have to send home all of the notes, etc. that I once covered in class and will test on and it is the student's responsibility to do that work. So, parents are going to become teachers for this. We are also working on a "Flipped Classroom" where I will take the lecture etc. that I now do in class, post it on the internet and students will have to view that at home.

Amy in AZ. said:

Gunner, Hopefully there are some positives. But, I liked teaching when I could introduce a topic that was relevant, just because. I never liked teaching to a test and that was about all I was doing, when I quit teaching.

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I'm with Gunner, education standards are too low in this country as far as I'm concerned. Particularly in Math and Science. As i understand it common core will be bringing a more hands on approach to science to hopefully engage kids at a younger age.

I do understand the frustration of "teaching to the test". Some of that is necessary but there should be a balance.

As for the OP, I have 3 kids. My senior DS in HS knocks out all his work mostly by himself. Most of the "homework" help we give him is in helping review for tests where asking him questions or running him through flash cards is the extent of the help.

DD sophomore does nearly everything on her own but has a TON of homework with 3 honors plus one AP class. When she needs assistance we gladly help but beyond helping her understand problems, typing what she wrote to save time, or offering suggestions on essay improvement as test prep assistance like DS we do not DO her projects or homework ever.

4th grade DD varies between 0.5 hr and 2.0 hr per night depending on assignments and level of enthusiasm from DD. We do work with her on homework but she responsible for getting it done.

School work comes before and extra activities.

My DGG has had homework in 3's pre-school. Now, of course, there is no penalty for not returning it and it might take a minute or two of coloring, but it is homework. Her last project was to decorate a star. Her other grandma, went a little overboard on that one. Ha.

Cannonball, How long until you can retire? My teacher friends are just hanging in there, one or two more years for them.

Cannonball said:

Those Social Studies Teachers! Who do they think they are? That stuff isn't important. I mean it is not like it is English, or Math or ... that really matter.

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Social studies and the rest of the humanities are very important. Math and science might lead to better paying jobs, but without an understanding of History, Philosophy, other cultures, I think kids do not develop into well rounded individuals. I have worked with so many smart people that could not communicate effectively that they were very limited in their careers. I attribute this to a lack of reading and composition.